Saturday, October 29, 2011

mother in law:(

I started this post over a week ago. For probably obvious reasons I haven't been able to finish, so I'm posting it now. I know many of my friends have been curious, but have been too nice to ask what happened (thank you for that), so here goes.

These are the facts. I suppose the emotions will come later. I realize it ends abruptly, but I can't go any further with this right now.

Dan's mom, Bonnie, died last weekend. I can't believe I just typed that. It was a complete shock, totally unexpected. She was only 68. Morbid as it might be, I need to get this out, to have it for my rememberence. It's part of my processing, so here goes.

Last Thursday, around 5:30, she fell at our house. Dan, Sophie and I were at the dining room table when I heard her yell help. I got to her just in time to see her fall on her back, her head bouncing on the hardwood floors. She had been holding Avery while trying to stand up. She somehow did a 180 because when I found her, her feet were at the chair and her head away from it. She knew she was falling and had thrown Avery in the pack n play, which was luckily right next to her.

Dan and I helped her up. She said that other than her neck and head hurting she was ok. She sat back in the chair for just a minute or so and then got up and grabbed her purse and newspaper to leave. I thought this was a bit odd. I expected her to want/need to rest longer than a minute or two. She was almost out the front door when she said "why am I taking this paper?" I told her it was her paper, than she had brought it with her that morning. She said "are you sure it's not yours?" She had no memory of bringing it with her. She lingered for a minute or so and then looked out the front door and asked "is that my car?" That's when I looked at Dan to see if he was listening, which he was.

We told her yes it was her car. She asked what day it was. I responded by saying "what day do you think it is" and she said she didn't know. I told her it was Thursday, and that tomorrow was Friday. I reminded her that Friday was her "maintainance" day, when she got her nails and hair done. She said "I don't get my nails done." Dan and I looked at each other again. She has gotten her nails done weekly for as long as I can remember, at least since she retired several years ago.

I asked her if she wanted to go to the ER. She said no. We talked a bit more. She knew who she was and where she wss, so that made me feel a bit better. We went through a few more questions that she couldn't answer. I said to her several more times "please let us take you to the ER, or at least urgent care." SHe still said no.

I wouldn't let her drive home. Dan took her and we dropped off her car the next day. I made him leave a note for her to call her doctor when she woke up on Friday.

On Friday, she called Dan late morning to let us know she had talked to dr, who said it sounded like she had a concussion, but there was no need to see him unless she felt she needed to. She didn't. he gave her a script for Vicodin. I asked him how her memory was and he said it was ok, but he didn't really ask her anything for us to judge her memory. We didn't talk to her the rest of the day.

On Saturday morning, about 10:30, she came over unannounced and asked if we needed her help that day. I was in the bedroom feeding babies but heard Dan tell her that we'd love her help. I heard her go in the family room with Sophie and then heard her in the kitchen making some odd noises, not grunts really, but just odd. I later found out from Dan that she had been trying to get Sophie some juice. She went to the microwave (thinking it was the fridge) and tried to open it. She couldn't. She couldn't find the button to open it. She went to the wrong drawer to get her sippy cup (she knows where we keep them).

A few minutes after I heard the odd noises, which in hindsight must have been her frustration at not being able to open the microwave, she came to see me in the bedroom. I asked how she was feeling. She tried to talk. Her mouth opened and she tried to talk but only odd noises were coming out. She was finally able to say "well if I could talk." Then said "I think it would be better if I went home and got in my own bed." I told her that she knew best and she knew what she needed to do. She said "not always" and smiled. Then, she turned around and left.

I had assumed, most likely incorrectly, that her inabililty to speak was from possible over-medication with the Vicodin. I looked at Dan and told him she didn't need to be driving, and that I was shocked she had made it to our house at all.

We didn't hear from her anymore that day, or the next day. We were busy preparing for/hosting my sisters baby shower so didn't have time to give it much thought.

When we woke up on MOnday morning I told him that he should call her to check in. He hadn't gotten the chance when his phone rang. I could tell from the way he answered the phone that it was his mom. But then I heard him say "this is her younger son." At that point, I assumed it was either her dr or the ER calling us. By this point I was in front of him, trying to figure out what was being said on the other end of the phone. Then Dan said "that's ok. you're only doing your job. I'll be right there.

He hung up and I asked him what happened. he said "mom is dead. I have to go ID the body." My head immediately started spinning. I was holding Connor so luckily didn't faint. In quite a dramatic fashion I'm sure, I told him that I was going with him, that he shouldn't go alone. While trying to put his shoes on he attempted to talk me down from a ledge, reminding me that we have 3 babies to take care of. I told him we'd pack them all up and take them too...not thinking about Sophie and how she did NOT need to be a part of this.

So, he went by himself to his mom's house just 2 miles away and ID'd her dead body.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

1 week later...

we're still here...still surviving.

Thanks to those who suggested babies might have a dairy allergy. We had a pedi appt the day after my last post, and it appears that may be the problem. I brought up reflux, but pedi poo-poo-ed that idea. She suggested I cut out dairy and see what happens.

So, almost a week later, this milk drinking, CHEESE EATING girl is dairy free. I've cut out all obvious dairy, milk, cheese, yogurt, etc. I am guilty of some of the hidden dairy in recipes, but I have to start somewhere. The gassiness and fussiness seems to be less. Still there, but definately less. More spitting, more tooting, but less tightness in abdomen for sure. I'm still caffeine free as well, except for the Coke I got at McD's today, along with my cheese-less quarter pounder (do NOT recommend:().

And, apparently I've been starving them, which could also be some of the fussiness! The few days prior to the appt I noticed both of them chewing on their fingers at times. Dr. R gave the ok to increase their feeding amount, so we went from 75 to 90 ml's. A few days after that, I noticed Avery still seemed hungry, so I upped her to 100 ml's, just a bit more than 3 oz.

Otherwise the 1 month appt was good. Both babies weighed 7 pounds, which we were thrilled with. Hard to believe they STILL aren't as big as Sophie when she was born.

In more dr news, we had an ultrasound done of their hips today, which was recommended due to 1) the family history of hip dysplasia (Sophie) and 2) the fact that they were both breech. Those results will be sent to the pedi, who will let us know how they look, I guess. The u/s tech seemed extremely knowledgable but I knew she couldn't tell us anything, so didn't even bother to ask.

I'm in the process of trying to stretch them to 3.5 or 4 hours between feeds. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. They still typically wake at about the 3 hour mark, but I seems they wake from gassiness/discomfort, not necessarily hunger.

Here are a few current pics!
This is how we've been rolling in the morning. Babies are starting to stay awake after feedings, especially in the morning, so I do what I can to keep them stimulated. Avery especially loves to look at herself in the mirror---typical girl, right??? This one was after a 7 am feeding I think. Sophie of course wants in on the action so I have to find a way to include her. In this pic I had just asked her to put the package of diapers into the diaper bin. I don't think any actually made it into the bin;)

I love both of these. I actually think they resemble each other:)

Friday, October 7, 2011

We're here. We're home

We actually brought the twins home THREE weeks ago, when they were 10 days old. It's taken me this long to sit down to write. What I should be writing about is their coming home day, but what I really need to get out is the HELL that has broken out in the last 48 hours.

I don't know what happened. Two nights ago, I got three 30 minute stretches of sleep, plus 1.5 hours from 6:30 until 8 am, when Sophie woke up. Avery and Connor were up all night. When when calmed down, the other woke. Vice versa. It wasn't just a matter of being awake, but they were screaming. In pain.

Avery has been more fussy from the beginning, so it through me for a curve when Connor joined in. Last night was just ridiculous.

We fed them at 9, and before 10 Avery was screaming again. I couldn't make her stop. We tried gas drops, we tried more burping. Everything. Finally, I brought her into bed with me. YES! I know it's wrong. I was watching TV though, and she finally passed out on my stomach. Sophie was also in bed with me, and would not stay still. She slept in every imaginable position. I finally drifted to sleep, hearing Dan's snores coming from the family room. I woke up to Avery's snot bubble nose, in and out, in and out. The options were to continue to listen to the snot bubbles, or risk getting up (thus, waking her up), to find the battery operated snot snucker that she loves (NOT) so much. Obviously, I opted to not move.

I never did really go to sleep, paranoid that something would happen to Avery. About midnight, I looked over and I saw Sophie falling off of our KING size bed onto the HARD wood floor. I saw it, but I couldn't stop it. She fell HEAD first, shrieking. I moved as fast as I could, putting Avery down and getting to Sophie. She jumped on me like a little monkey and wouldn't let go. It was dark, so my assessment of her injuries was minimal. I finally realized that not only did I need feel any blood, I also didn't feel any tears. I think it just scared the crap out of her, as it did me.

Finally after their 3 am feeding, I swaddled both babies, which seemed to help.

I'm going on NO sleep. I have no idea what is wrong with them. I have been drinking a fair amount of caffeine, so have officially cut that out of my diet in the event that it is upsetting their bellies. If that doesn't work, I don't know what else to try.

Is this colic?? Not officially, according to the medical definition, but we are getting there.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


Last night, I thought back to the hospital tour we took prior to having Sophie. They walked us by the newborn nursery where we were able to ogle over the beautiful little newborns. We were shown the outside of the NICU, but the windows were covered, and it seemed like such a solemn, sick place. I remember thinking thank goodness we won't have to be in there.

Fast forward less than 2 years, and here we are. But it's not nearly as bad as I expected, perhaps because my babies aren't among the "sickest of the sick."

For the past 9 days, I have seen most of the babies admitted since ours, come and go. Not many stay here, they are usually out in a day or two. Thankfully, I haven't seen any super sick babies either. I think we officially win for the babies that have been here the longest.

The nurses that work here are amazing. They have such peaceful souls. You can tell they enjoy being here, and have a way about them that really soothes a scared parent.

Fingers crossed that tomorrow is discharge day.

Here's our little spot. Avery is to the left, Connor to the right. They are both hooked up to monitors. They each have a fridge where I can store pumped milk. I feel really good that they've only gotten super minimal formula. My body seems to be keeping up with their demand.

This is where I've been sitting for the past 8 days. They eat every 3 hours, around the clock, and I've been able to be here for each of their 11 am, 2 pm, 5 pm feedings. Basically, this is where I've been camped out for 7 hours a day. I haven't questioned it, because why would I NOT be here? BUT, I'm so thankful that our time is almost done here. I want my babies home!

a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ERB8BtGc2Fw/TnJo5-PQSyI/AAAAAAAAArU/955u0Pq7Bbo/s1600/Twins%2Bbirthday%2B061.jpg">

Today, they each weight 5 lbs 3 oz. Most of the pics I've taken and sent to people, or put on facebook make them look like regular little babies. But, when you unswaddle them, these are the skinny little chicken legs that I've talked about.
This is Miss Avery. They are both wearing newborn diapers, but they are still big on them!!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The days after...

Avery and Connor have made fantastic progress. Their respiratory issues were fairly easy to get under control. On Thursday, they made it out of the critical part of the NICU. On Friday morning, they graduated to open cribs, mainly because they appear to be maintaining their temps fairly easily.

They are still hooked up to an IV, mainly until they are up to their full feeds. Once their little bellies can handle the amount of food the docs say is appropriate, they'll lose the IVs. This could happen as soon as tomorrow.

On Thurs morning Connor had an apnic episode, which the docs said might add 5-7 days to his stay, but luckily he's had no more.

From Thursday to Friday they both lost more weight and were each down to 5 lbs 4 ozs. From Fri to Sat, they lost more and now each weight 5 lbs 3 oz. The dr says we'll most likely see one more drop in weight, until they are up to their full feeds.

I was able to do skin to skin with them on Tues night, and then again today.

I started pumping about 24 hours after they were born. Yesterday, I pumped SEVEN oz. Holy milk, batman!!! But then today, my supply has not been so great. However, I was able to breastfeed them both 3 times today. They latched on, which apparently is a HUGE deal at this gestational age. I feel really good about that, and am now on the pumping every 2.5 hour schedule. Fun times are here again;)

My babies are just so tiny, although I know in the whole scheme of things they are not. They both have the same little chicken legs that Sophie had when she was born. But theirs are even more skinny and chickenish, lol. Lots of wrinkles in their arms and legs. Lots of peach fuzz all over their body. Their fingers and toes look like all skin and bones. Their eyes don't even look real. They both have a decent amount of hair though...Avery's is most definately brown and Connor's is blondish to strawberry blond. Connor looks like a male version of Sophie, meaning he looks just like Dan, lol. I think Avery may actually resemble me. Only time will tell, I guess.


First, I am home. Without my babies. My insurance only approves 4 days hospital stay with a c-section, so they kicked me out:(

I was completely fine until I talked to Dan about 1:30 today, asking him what time he planned to pick me up. He basically left it up to me, and we decided on 3:30, which would give me time to help with one more (2 pm) feeding. Once I had the timeline in my head, I lost it.

I went to the NICU shortly after talking with Dan, at which time our nurse asked me how I was. Needless to say, tears. Lots and lots and LOTS of tears. Along with ugly face, blubbering, snotty hyper-ventilation. Apparently they are used to this, because she pulled the curtains around our little area, handed me a box of kleenex, told me they refer to this day as "kleenex day" and gave me a hug. Which made me cry harder. I sat down in "my" chair (I've already found my favorite in the NICU), between my two babies and tried to pull myself together. Thankfully I was able to, until I heard Dan's voice, letting me know that my time was short.

Dan does not get it, but I don't expect him to. He keeps saying "they are in the best place possible." He doesn't understand that I realize that, and I agree. It's not that I think they are not being cared for, it's simply that I'm leaving them. And, I suspect there's also a touch of guilt when I think about how badly I wanted them to be born b/c I was so miserable. But then, I check myself with the reminder that I *did* go into labor on my own. They were ready to make an appearance, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

So, I left my babies. My two little babies that now weigh just over 5 pounds each. Little Avery who looks like a tiny bird when she eats, and Connor who has already stolen my heart. My friends know that I have been afraid of having a boy, not knowing what to expect. I was afraid, and hestitant, but now that he's here I would wish for nothing but him.

I will be there beating down the NICU doors at 11 am tomorrow:)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

September 6, 2011...

our family became complete:)

Went off the meds on Sunday at 11 am...at 10:50 on Tues we were scheduling my c-section. I'd say Dr. P knows what he's talking about.

The birth story...
Monday night I started having timeable contrax. Specifically, I had 24 in two hours. I remember thinking surely this is not right...these can't all be contrax. So, I remember deciding to tell my nurse that I had 20 in two hours, thinking that sounded a bit more reasonable, lol. I already knew that I wasn't going to hospital that night, because I was SO afraid they'd just fill me full of meds and send me home. About 9:30 I took a Tylenol PM which put me in that haze, but I still continued to wake from the contrax. I think I finally fell asleep about midnight, but was up every 1 1/2 hours to pee. As the night went on, I kept getting more and more uncomfortablE. I had alot of pelvic pressure and also alot of pressure in my butt, weirdly enough.

Towards morning, I had to make the decision to go to triage or not. I SO did not want to be one of those girls that goes for every little thing. Dan woke up about 8:30, and I was still debating what to do. At about 8:45 I just said "I think I need you to take me to the hospital." Surprisingly, lol, he didn't roll his eyes, assuming it was a false alarm. It was like we both just knew.

Once on L & D, I was in line behind a woman who had been sent up from her OB office for high blood pressure. When it was my turn, I think I just said "I'm just not feeling right." It sounded so wimpy, lol, but it was true.

They got me hooked up to monitor where I discovered that yes indeed my contrax count had been right the night before, as I was still contracting every TWO minutes. Know wonder I didn't feel right!!

The nurse basically said that whether they would give me meds to stop contrax or not would depend on dilation. That really bummed me out, b/c Dr. S couldn't even REACH my cervix on Friday. Well, turns out I was dilated to and 75% effaced. This was about 10:15. Holy crap!

So, they called down to Dr. S who told them to book the OR for 11 am. HOLY CRAP!! I've never seen nurses move so quickly, lol:) In the end, I have no idea what time the c-section actually began, but Avery Quinn was born at 12:01, and her brother, Connor Daniel, just a minute later at 12:02.

Prior to the drama of the OR, I did feel a pang of regret that I hadn't said good-bye to Sophie. I mean, I'd said goodbye to her when we got to day care, but I didn't get a chance to really say good bye to our little family of three. I cried.

We had such great care. Each baby had a team of 5 doctors/nurses taking care of them, and I had several taking care of me. Avery immediately needed some help in the breathing dept, and was taken to the NICU almost immediately. Connor did well initially and they even brought him in the room with us, but he starting "singing" so the nurse had NICU come do an eval, and off he went too...

They are staying next to each other in the NICU, and doing better each time I see them. Right now, they are on IV's only. All C Paps and cannulas were turned off today and both seem to be tolerating well. Once we get past the respiratory issues, the next hurdle is making sure they can maintain their temp, and then lastly, making sure they are feeding ok.

I've started pumping and am managing to get a bit of colustrum each time.

I feel like I know them already. we had so many u/s towards the end, and it got to the point where I knew who was moving (although never really figured out what body part was moving, lol). It's different to know them as outside babies. Yesterday was traumatic for them of course, and they are so sleepy...not the happy go luckily constantly moving babes that we inside of me so recently. I didn't get to really hold Avery until about 8 hours after she was born. Then, I got lucky and they let me do skin to skin with her. Fabulous:)

For now, Avery has brown hair and Connor has blonde-strawberry blonde. I definately think he's going to look like Dan or Sophie. They look similar to Sophie, but they REALLY resemble each other. Sort of like a male/female version of each other.

Some pics...


Dan hanging out with Connor (Avery had already been whisked away)

Brother/sister on their birthday:)

Friday, September 2, 2011

Triage: Take 2

Wed about 5:30 pm I started noticing more frequent contrax. In the first hour I had 6, and then in the next 20 minutes I had 4 more, followed up by more over the next 40 minutes. There was no debate on whether to go. I gave Dan updates along the way, and he was ready before I was, lol.

My biggest fear was getting there and being told that I wasn't having contrax, that it was gas or something. Well, after getting hooked up to the monitor I was most definately having them, and according to the monitor some were pretty hard.

They gave me a shot of terb, and a niphedipine, and monitored for an hour. At that time, I was still borderline, at 6 an hour. So they watched for another 30 minutes and same thing. They gave another shot of terb which seemed to finally do the trick.

We got home about 1 am. I was really hoping they would keep me, and really upset that they kept giving me meds, knowing that I am supposed to stop all meds on Sunday anyway.

We saw Dr. S today who was shocked about the 38 week c-section date, but understood after I told her the reasoning. SHe told me to get a letter from Dr. P, and his recommendation, as a high risk doc, would override the Chief. No dilation today.

I have been losing mucous plug over last few days. Happy for that, at least it's progress.

It's getting to the point that I can't really work from home anymore. Sitting is horribly uncomfortable. But lying down is not much better. the further I get, the more all I want to do is stay in bed, but that is taking it's toll on my bones and muscles. I am sore constantly. Everywhere.

Going off the meds on Sunday and I will just CRY if this does not kick start something. please, plesse.

Monday, August 29, 2011

the plan (and then a change to the plan)

Dan and I went to see Dr. P on Friday. Prior to the appt, I needed to get an ultrasound, which turned out to be the most detailed (and painful) u/s I've ever had. We walked in and the asked what time the appt was with Dr. P. When I told her she said "you'll be late." Huh? These appts usually take 15 minutes. Apparently, he had ordered a bio-physical u/s, which I had never heard of. It requires observing each baby do 2 gross motor movements, 1 fine motor movement and have an episode of "practice" breathing. All this, on top of the usual cervical check and fetal growth check.

We had Sophie with us, so Dan left to take her to day care, knowing she would NOT last for an hour, nor would he, lol. I didn't like the tech, so that didn't help, but I was SO extremely uncomfortable. She didn't seem too sympathetic to my cause, talking under her breath about why Dr P didn't have his own tech do this. Lovely. I finally had to almost faint to get her to let me move into another position.

Long story short, babies both looked good, although B did not do the practice breathing while being observed. Dr. P was not worried in the least. In his office, they did an NST scan, where they measure the babies heartbeats and my contractions. That all looked good too!

So, we started talking delivery:) He was much less optimistic about Baby A (still breech) turning than he was two weeks ago. He also mentioned that hours of labor, after this much time on bedrest would really affect my body post delivery. Bottom line: it would be a bitch. I told him my recovery with Sophie was not good at all, and that I didn't feel like myself until 5 weeks post partum. He said a twin c-section would probably leave me feeling the same way.

He confirmed that I am to stop all meds this Sunday. He suggested that that appt be the last appt with him. Basically, he thinks I'll deliver before I had a chance to see him again. I talked him into one more appt, just for my own mental health, and that will be on Spet 7, two days after stopping meds.

I called Dr. S's office to check on c-section date, since no one had called. They didn't have one, so I called back today and was given a date that is equivilant to 38w 1d. I was beyond upset. I found out the reasoning is the Chief of OBGYN at the hospital will not approve a twin c-section before this time. Grrrrrrrr. Honestly, I don't think it will get to that point, but the idea of waiting 28 more days is just more than I can take.

I'm DONE being pregnant. DONE. I.am.miserable. I haven't picked up Sophie in almost 2 months. I can't do anything around the house. Lying in bed just HURTS at this point. My sides ache all night long, b/c they are taking all the pressure since I can't sleep on belly or back. Most of my pants don't fit anymore. I'm hardly ever hungry b/c there is no room, but when I DO eat, I get nasty reflux. I can't sit up straight in the car, I have to lie back gangsta style, lol. My pelvic bone feels like it's going to split in two. I sneezed the other day and I swear my skin was going to tear. I could go on, and on.

And really, I HATE to complain about this. If I were reading this 2 years ago I would be pissed at myself, complaining like this. I worked so hard to get to this point and now all I can do is bitch.

So what did I do? I took a shower and had a good cry. And then I put on my big girl panties (and trust me, pun intended!), and tried to put on a better attitude.

But, I am miserable.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Updates and plans

I meant to post last Tues night, after my appt with Dr. P...but you know how that goes. At that appt, and at today's appt with Dr. S, we started making plans. Not necessarily the plans I want, but plans none the less.
1) Per Dr. P (I'd just really like to call him the Wizard of Oz!!), I will stop the Indocin this Wednesday. We're at the point where it's more of a risk to babies than a benefit.

2) While Wed is my last day of that, it's my first day of oral Turbutaline. This one scares me a bit. So far, I've had it via IV and via sub-q injection. The latter was much more managable; the IV administration left my heart feeling like it was going to jump out of my chest. Dr. P assured me this was normal, and I should have even less side effects with pills than with the sub-q. Let's hope so. I have to check my pulse prior to taking it, and if it's 110 or higher, I have to wait 30 minutes to take it. I will start out on Wed at 3 times a day, and then starting Thursday, I'll be taking it 6 times a day, in conjuction with the Niphedine.

3) Dr. P was really thrilled that I made it to 32 weeks. Apparently this was a big hurdle to accomplish, and I did it. He mentioned some stats that neurologically, at 1, 3, 5 years of age, a 32 weeker looks no different than a 36 weeker. I hate to say it, but once I heard that, I thought "ok, let's just get this show on the road." Thankfully, the docs won't let me be selfish.

4) As of last Tues I was measuring 40 weeks. He told me, SERIOUSLY, that he'd like to see me measure 50 weeks. FIFTY. Really? My stomach is so tight right now it's ridiculous, it seriously feels like a rock. Dr. P says it's my abdominal wall.

5) Baby A is STILL breach, although she's moved from her little ball. Now, both of their heads are in my ribs, and their feet are hanging out below belly button. The u/s tech got a shot of their little heads so close together...looked like they were conspiring already;)

6) Weights were ok last week, but this week took a huge leap. Baby A is 4 pounds 11 oz, and B is 5 pounds 4 oz. Seems impossible there is 10 pounds of baby in there, not to mention the weight of placenta, fluid, etc. No wonder I'm exhausted!!

5) The big news of the appt was that he gave the suggestion/decision that we would schedule induction or c-section for 37 weeks. He confirmed he wouldn't make me go any further:)

I saw Dr. S today who was also extremely pleased with the progress. It was the shortest appt we've had in awhile, lol! She also mentioned scheduling c-section at 37 weeks. No mention of induction. I've known there might be an "induction struggle" since the beginning. Should Baby A turn and be born vaginally, she does not want to risk any issues with Baby B. Further, she doesn't want me to have a double recovery, which I *do* get. But you better bet I'll stand my ground if Baby A does turn.

I'm really trying to come to terms with a c-section, I am, but I'm not happy. I'm not scared, or worried. It's not that. I think women that ask for an elective c-section are no more crazy than I am, wanting a vaginal delivery. I think maybe it's that I know this will be the last time I will be pregnant. This is it, and I wanted to experience labor again. Yes, I realize I'm a masochist, lol:) I wanted the anticipation of not being fully aware of how it will go. I don't want to be told "arrive at 9 am and we'll take you to the OR by 10 am." I don't want to know ahead of time that these babies will be born at 10:15. Plus, I have the irrational and probably unsubstantiated idea that if I have a c-section, it will be harder for the weight to come off, and more importantly, harder to breastfeed. I feel like if I don't have a vaginal delivery, my body won't know that it's time to start producing milk.

Or maybe by now I am just genuinely crazy. Who knows. All I know is if Dan mentions "we're going to have a c-section" one more time, I'm going to slap him. Hard. In the face. First of all, really? They're going to take a knife to HIS abdomen, and then pull out HIS insides to get the babies out? I think not. Secondly, ever since Dr. S put the thought in our mind that it could very well be a c-section, he has grabbed on to that idea and won't let it go. I'm so TIRED of arguing with him about it. He thinks it's because I'm scared. Again, that's not it, but he's never stopped to ask why, and quite honestly (as a man), would most likely not understand anyway. That's why I haven't wasted too much breath on it.

I'm really just glad there is an end in sight. I've wondered all along how long they would let me go, but our conversations never got that far b/c of all the difficulties I've had. It's nice to be able to say "no more than 4 weeks left," but at the same time I'd really like to go into labor on my own. With all the crazy anti-contraction meds i'll be on though, I don't know how that is even possible. Maybe my water will break??

Sunday, August 14, 2011

32 weeks

I honestly can't believe we made it this far!!! Each day, I feel better and better about babies coming early, if indeed that will happen. We almost went to L & D on Friday night. Dr. P's "rule" is 4-6 contrax per hour, for 2 hours in a row=L & D. Well, hour 1 I had 6. Hour 2, I had 2 and then fell asleep. I couild have had more while sleeping, but I woke up feeling ok.

And because a few people have had qusetions about this...the contrax don't necessarily hurt...so it IS possible to have them while sleeping and not be woken. In my case, it is more of a tightening as far as feeling goes, but it will register on the machine as a contrax. That's just the way my body works I guess. The contrax are what causes the cervix to shorten, so I'm more than a bit concerned about my Dr. P appt on Tues.

How far along: 32 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 30 pounds, and that's if I'm wearing heavy clothes. I've lost weight the past few weeks.

Maternity clothes: Um, duh! I am mostly in size L. I can still do medium tops, but the pants pretty much have to be large.

Stretch marks: Knocking on wood as I type this, but NO. And yes, I still analyize the belly each morning.

Sleep: As good as it can be for now. I have to stay up until 11 to take my meds. Then, I set my alarm for 3 am, and then again for 7 am. Luckily, I can usually fall back to sleep very easily after the 3 am meds.

Best moment last week: Getting sent home from triage:)

Movement: Baby B is a mover and shaker. He is ALL over the place, seriously. Baby A is more "chill". I feel her move, but not nearly as much as her brother.

Food cravings: No major cravings right now. If anything, I'd have to say sweets.

Gender: Boy and Girl!!

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: Still an innie. How that is possible, I don't know. It is *this* close to popping out.

Other random yuckiness: Being hydrated means I pee all.the.time. Sometimes every 15 minutes or so. Not yucky really, but not fun.

What I miss: Being able to pick up/carry Sophie:(

What I am looking forward to: each day that the babies are inside.

Taken today at 32 weeks:)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Good follow-up:)

I was so nervous for today's appt. It was scheduled for 11, but at 9:30 they called to tell me that Dr. S wouldn't be in and was it ok to see the nurse practitioner. My immediate response was yes, but then I thought about it and wondered what an NP was going to do for me. So, I called back and asked if Dr. R, the OB that took care of me while Dr. S was on vacation(and I was in in hospital) was available. Turns our, Dr. S WAS able to come in in the afternoon, so they just moved me to her schedule thankfully.

We decided to go out to lunch prior to appt. On the way, I was just SO depressed, miserable. I just felt so defeated, and wondered how I was going to keep on dealing with this. Not a great mood to be in as I headed to the dr.

AFter weighing me, they took me straight back to be monitored for contrax. I was SO freaking nervous. I am officially petrified of that machine, which seems to tell me all the things going on that I can't feel. BUT, after 30 minutes of monitoring things looked good. Not one contrax, and the uterine irritabilty was almost non-existent.

Dr. S came in and told me she was proud of me, so I knew it was good news after that. She asked how the increase in meds were making me feel. I had a feeling it was a loaded question...which it was. My first comment was that the contrax had significantly decreased since the doubling and increase in frequency of Niphedipine had been ordered. Then, I also told her they were making me loopy and very sleepy, and that I was now spending most of my time in bed, whereas a week ago I would at least alternate between bed, couch, chair. Now, I have no motivation to get up. She just smiled and said "yes, it does that too." I think in her mind this increase was also confirmation to her that I really am slowing down.

The Q and A of the appt.
1) Do I need to keep taking meds round the clock (i.e. every four hours)? It was an adamant yes. She went on to say that my body is just one that needs the constant meds. She said usually this only happens in first pregnancies, and the only reason she can think that it's happening to me is because of my small frame. Basically, my body is done, and the great weights of the babies are only validating that thought.

2) Is hospital bedrest inevitable? Her answer was no, but that I should expect a few short stays between now and "the end."

3) What is the goal? I asked this, b/c on Tues she mentioned 36 weeks, but prior to that she talked about 34 week, as did Dr. P. Her response was 36 weeks, and when I brought up the fact that Dr. P had suggested taking me off meds at 34 weeks, she explained that only one of the meds (Indocin) would be stopped at that time. This is the one that tends to reduce amniotic fluid. I will stay on Niphedine, which stops the contrax, until 36 weeks, should I make it that far.

I think there were more questions, but these were the biggies.

So, next appt next Tues with Dr. P. Hoping for a very uneventful 5 days between now and then.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Time for a little update.

Dan and I went to OB appt on Tuesday. I felt great, have been doing well, so assumed there would be no major drama. WRONG.

As usual, we started out with an ultrasound, that started really well. Baby A is measuring 3 pounds 14 oz and B is 3 pounds 15 oz. Great weights, and it's great that they are sticking so closely together, weight wise.

Baby A is still breach, and Baby B is currently head down with his head on my left side and feet in my ribs. A's heartrate continues to be in the 130's and B's in the 150's.

Sidenote: I'm really thinking that (at least in utero) A has my personality and B has Dan's. A has been curled in up in her little ball, just chilling for the last several weeks. She moves around a bit, but NOTHING like B, lol. He is ALL over the place, and his butt is is usually sticking out of my belly:) He is MUCH more active than A.

The u/s started going downhill when she checked my cervical length. Last week, it was a 43 and this week it is down to a 26 DESPITE all the meds Im taking. Dr. S checked me and I'm still dilated to 1, so no progress there thankfully. She asked me if I was having contrax and I said no. She had me get on a monitor anyway, which showed one contrax in about 20 minutes, but lots of uterine irritability.

So, she sent us "upstairs" to try some meds to calm down my uterus. We went to triage, where they gave me an IV to help hydrate me, as well as a shot of terbutiline to help relax my ute. After a few hours, it was back to normal so luckily I got to go home.

I have an follow-up with Dr. S tomorrow. I'm not really sure what she's going to do though? No u/s scheduled, and I doubt she will check for dilation again. Maybe another FFN test? I'm pretty clueless, unless it is to "talk" more about bedrest, blah, blah.

I do have several questions for her that I didnt get to ask on Tues, so we'll see I guess. Fingers crossed that I will be sleeping in my own bed tomorrow night!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

specialist appt today

Today, I had an ultrasound, and then my first out-patient visit with Dr. P. Both Dan and I assumed I'd be admitted. Since meeting Dr. P two weeks ago, we've talked with several of his previous patients and they have ALL had some sort of hospital bedrest, ordered by him.

However, the u/s was great. Babies look good. Baby A is STILL way low and still breech, hanging out in what feels like my hip area. Obviously she can't be that low, but that is what it feels like. Her heartrate was 138. Baby B is ALL over my upper right quadrant, Head in my ribs, butt on my left side and feet up by my lungs. How is that even possible??? Heart rate was about 150.

The GREAT news is that my cervix was measuring 43. So, a slight change from last week, but still very normal. Slight funneling still, but he wasn't worried. Dr. P thinks I'll have no problem making it to 34 weeks.

Things we learned today.
1) Indocin, one of the main meds I'm taking to stop contrax will most likely be stopped at about 34 weeks. At that point, the risk to babies outweighs the benefits, all having to do with lowering the amniotic fluid.

2) 50% of women go into labor in the 34 hours after they stop their meds.

3) Babies born at 35 weeks have a 50% chance of going home with parents.

So, the important topic for our next visit, which will be at 32w2days is when to stop the meds. As of today, he thinks all can be stopped at 34 weeks and we'll see what happens.

The important topic for my next visit with OB is delivery method, and if my OB is comfortable attempting a vaginal delivery if Baby B is breech at the time of delivery. Obviously, if Baby A is breach at delivery time we HAVE to do a C Section. I'm not thrilled with this at all, and just hope there is enough time for her to get in the right position. Dr. P was NOT a proponent of Baby A vaginal and Baby B c-section. I said "yeah, that seems like a double whammy as far as recovery" and he said "it's much more than a double whammy" but didn't really expand, and I was not ready to have that conversation.

So, here I am at 30w2d, measuring 38 weeks (yikes). I've lost about 4 pounds, which I'm assuming is probably just lost muscle from the bedrest. STILL no stretch marks (fingers crossed)! I can lighten up the bedrest a bit, but he said a trip to Target was "too ambitious":(

hospitalized (Sophie, not me)...

We have an official diagnosis of asthma, for Sophie:(

Friday late morning she developed a cough and a runny nose. Runny is actually an understatement. I could not keep it wiped, and when she sneezed, well it was everywhere. I assumed she was getting sick. Makes sense, right?

It got worse as the day progressed, and Fri night was torture trying to get her to sleep. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about the night before her first hospital admission, and how I'd stayed up with her all night. It did occur to me this could be another episode of "whatever that was" but because there was SO much congestion in her nose, I ruled it out. She was coughing, but not much.

Saturday morning we woke up around 8 (Sophie in bed with us), and discovered that she has started the belly breathing and had some retrations in her neck area. Dan made the call to give her Albuteral, but we couldn't find her Asthma Action Plan they had given us when we were discharged the first time. I assumed it was in a box that we had yet unpacked, just a single piece of paper. Dan dug and dug and found it, thankfully.

At that point, she was somewhere in the middle of the yellow and red zones. According to that plan, we were able to give her 4 puffs of Albuteral in an hour. So we gave her a 2nd dose, and then waited 30 minutes. No improvement (but no worse), so we gave her a 3rd and 4th dose. We both decided on the ER at pretty much the same time, but neither of us really felt it was all that urgent. She was lethargic yes, but her breathing wasn't horrible. Honestly, I don't know what the hell we were waiting on...she needed to go.

I got in the shower, knowing that an ER trip would most likely last all day. I'm uncomfortable enough as it is, so at least wanted to be clean, lol. As soon as I turned the water off, Dan is yelling "we need to go to the ER NOW." I walked into our bedroom, where she is lying on the bed, breathing very clearly worse than when I got in the shower.

Long story short...They did a 5 minute Albuteral treatment (via nebulizer) as soon as we got there. It helped, but her respirations were still high and it was clear she was having trouble breathing. They did a chest X ray to rule out pneumonia (negative) and did the nasal swab to test for viruses (normal). She got a dose of prednisone also. Finally, the did a 20 minute Albuteral treatment, and decided to admit her. The treatment improved things, but she was still having trouble. And, the ER docs were definately playing it safe after her quick downward spiral last time, that landed her in the PICU.

She got started on Albuteral treatments every 2 hours, then weaned to every 3, and then every 4. Their protocol is that she has to respond well to two every 4 hour treatments to be a candidate for discharge. Luckily, she got there quite quickly, and we were sent home Sunday afternoon.

Our pedi's partner came to visit on Sunday morning. I asked if it was asthma, and she said yes. She said it's almost impossible to dx asthma after one occurance, but now that we've had two, and she presented very similarly both times (and responded to the same treatment both times), then yes it was asthma. She asked if there'd been any triggers lately and neither of us could think of any. That's the scary part.

We were sent home with 3 days of prednisone (let me tell you how fun THAT is!), albuteral via inhaler every 4 hours for 7 days, and she's back on the Flovent that she had previously been weaned from, 2 puffs in the AM and PM.

Luckily, despite all the stress...I was able to stay with her, and got almost complete bedrest while we were there.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Great news on Monday:)

First, I should say that we almost missed the u/s appt. Appt was at 8 am, I woke up at 7:10 and was so dazed (hello Ambien??) that it took me awhile to gather myself. Then, I had to wake up Sophie and Dan, who were both o.u.t.

We made it with 5 minutes to spare. The u/s tech instructed me to lie down, to which I said "aren't you doing a cervical check?" I had anticipated her telling me to get undressed from the waist down. According to the order, it was only a growth scan, but I pushed and pushed until she called OB office and did get permission to do cervical check.

As usual, babies are great. For the last two weeks, Baby A has been hanging out in the LOWER righ quadrant, and is currently breech. When I said LOWER, I swear she is in my hip, lol. Baby B is in upper left quadrant, and I assume the reason for my reflux.

Baby A was measuring 3.1 pounds, and B was 3 pounds, so growth-wise they are great.

Cervical length had DOUBLED!! A week ago it was 20, and Monday it was 47. Seems like the medication cocktail from Dr. P has done the trick.

Then, we killed time until 10:45 for appt with Dr. R (filling in for my OB while she's on vacation). She was thrilled with improvement, and did another internal exam which showed I was still dilated to 1.

Next week, we see Dr. P again. I asked Dr. R about his desire for hospital bedrest, and that he had wanted that for me last week. Her response was "yes, we talked about that" which leads me to believe he probably shared his feelings, but she held strong to letting me go home. Bottom line, Dan and i are expecting a possible hospital admission next week.

Since seeing him last week, I've talked to several others who have used him in the past, and they ALL reported at least a week of hospital bedrest. Yuck. But, whatever.

I'm still getting contrax, but they are much less, and there is no pattern. They typically happen in the evening, and usually when I am up, or in the process of getting up. Getting out of bed is NOT easy these days!

I've been approved to work up to 4 hours a day from home, and now that I have a laptop that works, I feel like I'm being productive. It feels good, lol. Believe it or not, I've hardly read anything. I either lie in bed watching mindless TV, or spend a few hours at the dining room table trying to knock out a few hours of work.

Surprisingly, I haven't gained more weight, and this is according to the dr. scale!

Bean: you can e-mail me at stacey.mccrary2003@yahoo.com. Note that there is NOT a "dot" between my first and last name, I just don't want people to find this blog. Feel free to e-mail me:)

I promise some pics soon. It's time for some new house pics I guess, despite the fact that we are NOT completely unpacked.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

29 weeks!

Well, we made it to 29 weeks. (Sorry Fran, I meant to mention that in my last post, but got sidetracked:)).

I think it's bedrest day #12. May as well start counting, huh?

I ventured from bedrest yesterday, and learned my lesson. It was Saturday, it was pretty out (although scorching), and Dan agreed to take me to Target. I had to take some things back to Target, and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Contrax #1 came in BBB, while I was pushing the cart. Contrax #2 came in Target, and contrax #3 (the big one) came walking to the car. Dan was walking ahead with Sophie, and it got to the point where I almost couldn't walk. The common denominitor seems to be ANY sort of exhertion. I came home and went to bed and things were better.

But even today, just getting out of bed to go to the bathroom will cause a contrax.

Next appt tomorrow am at 8 am; then a follow-up with Dr. S's colleauge at 10:45. We are going to all appts, expecting NOT to come home. Fingers crossed for status quo at the u/s tomorrow. I have no idea what dr appt will be. FFN can't be done, so maybe an exam? Maybe nothing, just a check in??

I did learn a few things will in hospital and more specifically while meeting with Dr. P.

1) FFN's cannot be done the same day as an internal u/s, as it may cause a false positive. So, if u/s is different (in bad way) tomorrow, I may have to go back on Tues for another FFN.

2) The steroid shot given for babies lungs wears off after a week or so. Dr. P (using hypothetical #'s), said that if shots are given at 28 weeks, and I later go on to give birth at 31 weeks, babies lungs will look similar to lungs of a baby who NEVER got the shots. Also, from what I've read, a 2nd set of shots may be detrimental to babies.

3) If I give birth in next few weeks, we'll be doing so at Mo.Bap. Although St. Louis CHildren's Hospital has the best NICU in the area, the hospital associated with it (in top 5 in the US, I believe) does not believe in keeping babies "inside." They'd rather deliver them, and let NICU take over. This was a hard decision to make, but I'd rather the babies be transferred to a different hospital than me, if it means keeping them in longer.

4) Post partum depression is as high as 50% in twin moms. Dr. P and i talked about this and told him about my PPD with Sophie. ALthough he didn't encourage to start my Prozac now, he did say he would highly recommend once babies are here.

I am miserable. I think that, even if this hadn't all happened, I would have been begging to be taken out of work. I have just hit a wall. I am tired, sore, getting swollen, reflux is ridiculous, I've been close to puking several times (I assume b/c there isn't much room for the food I do eat).

My depression is escalating. I can feel it. Not anxiety, but most definately depression. I started Prozac 3 days ago. Dan and I are bickering/fighting. His nervous energy is driving me nuts. But, I know alot of it is me.

Friday, July 22, 2011

PTL=Hospital stay

After the last horrible appt that put me on bedrest, Dr. S wanted to see me one last time before she left for vacation. So, Tues afternoon Dan took me to get the u/s and then to meet with her. I pride myself in being able to read u/s machines fairly easily, but the cervical length check always throws me off, so for those, I just tend to look at the numbers that pop up on the screen. I could tell by th numbers I was seeing that things were ok. The u/s tech agreed that things seemed stable, with no more shortening.

I was feeling better as we went to wait for Dr. S, who unfortunately walked into our room looking quite somber. "Well, it's shortened again." Apparently she and the tech had a disareement in length. According to Dr.S length had gone from 37 two weeks ago to 27 last week, to 24 this week. All not good.

She said the dreaded words,I want you to get monitored. What I later learned that meant was an NST on L & D. She also wanted to start the steroid shots for babies lungs, which I knew was a 2 day process, b/c there needs to be 24 in between in shot.

So there we were. Three minutes later, Dan, Sophie and I were back on the floor on which I'd actually given birth to Sophie. THAT was surreal. And in fact, all the monitoring rooms were full, so we were put in a L & D room, complete with baby warmer. I remember seeing that warmer when being induced to have Sophie and it scared the crap out of me. Tues night, I was in denial it was there...b/c certainly we wouldn't need it.

EVERYONE kept asking if I was contracting. My "go to" answer for weeks has been "no, not contracting, but I do feel alot of tightening." Well....turns out that tightening was being read as a contraction on the NST and was happening 2-5 times an hour! So, they gave me terbtuline (or however it's spelled). I hope that's as close to crack as I ever get. I wanted to jump out of my skin! I was on the phone when she administered it through my IV and had to hang up b/c I thought my heart would jump out of my chest. But, it did significatnly reduce the contrax.

Dr. S came to see me one last time before she left, telling me all would be fine. She also ordered a consult with an MFM that comes highly recommended. I was excited about that, b/c boy did I have questions.

Once I was settled, Dan and i had to figure out a plan. I was freaked a bit, and wanted him to stay, but then what to do with Sophie. She went to stay with my MIL. As soon as I kissed her goodbye and they walked out the door I started BAWLING. Big, ugly tears. I was scared, in shock, sad that I was in such a preciment. Resentful of these two babies still inside. What havoc they are already reaking on my little family of three.

Resentful and angry at my BABIES. There I said it. And felt no remorse in those feelings. What kind of mother am I? I've mentioned all along that I have little in the way of bonding with these two, but this just really draws the line, I think it's time to get back on the Prozac. Although, I do have to admit that listening to their heartbeats for hours at a time, along with knowing exactly where they are positioned helped a great deal. I could at least differentiate who was kicking vs. punching, lol.

So, more bad news is about to be delivered. Later Tues afternoon, Dr. S's oncall dr comes to see me, and does an exam to check for diliation. And I am dilated to one. This is definate progress in a BAD way. She increases my niphedipine to 4x day, assures me I'll go home Wed night after steroid shot and that's about it. I question her about the specialist, as I have every nurse that walks in and she says she'll look into it.

Wed Morning: I learn that I get to see Dr. Paul (baby guru, who specializes in keeping babies INSIDE), but that I first need another u/s before he will see me. So, I get that 1:30, he comes in about an hour later. In one DAY, cervix has shortened from 24 to 20. Not.good.knews.

Dr. Paul comes highly recommendend and lives up to the hype. He is fabulous and brilliant and every other fantastic word you want to use. In a nutshell, he was not comfortable with me going home, but after sticking me on what feels like 1000 new drugs, he was ok. Here's the plan.

1)I will rotate between seeing him and seeing Dr. S every other week. THis Monday I'll see Dr. S, next week, I'll see him.

2) I will get an u/s at each visit. One week they'll look at cervical length, amnio fluid; the next week they'll look at baby growth.

3) Startng lots of new meds.
antiobiotics (just in case)
increasing niphedipine to 4 x day
procardia (I think to thicken up mucous plug)
endoocin ( I think that's how it's spelled). this is another to stop contractions. but one of the side effects is reducing amniotic fluid. Dr. P feels this can be good with twins, b/c losing a bit of fluid will lighten the load on the weight/volume that the uterus is carrying to hopefully avoid early labor.

So, in a nutshell,I'm jacked up on every drug imaginable. I've gotten both steroid shots, so babies lungs are somewhat protected over the next two weeks. I've gotten my goal of weekly monitoring. I've been instructed to head to L & D if I am having 4-6 contrax an hour, for two hours in a row. If I'm unsure if it's a contrax, call it a contrax. So, here I sit.

Bedrest is hard. I was approved for up to 4 hours of work from home a day, which is proving hard given Sophie entertaining and the fact that Dan needs the laptop for his job too. BUT, every hour I can work from home is good. At this point, we're pretty much guarenteed that I will have to take at least one month of unpaid leave. As the breadwinner of this little family, that.will.hurt. But it is what it is.

I feel so grateful for everyone who has called, sent e-mails, etc. We both feel very supported in this new little predicament that has developed:)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

threatented pre-term labor

This is not what I was anticipating when I went to OB on Tues.
We started out with the ultrasound. Babies look great. A is weighing 2.9 and B is weighing 2.11. Both are transverse, with head on my right side, feet on my left.

And then it went south from there....I saw two cervical legnth measurements. One was 2.3 and the other 2.4. I knew that anything above 3 is good. And I also knew that my last one was between 4-5. So I knew things were different, and not in a good way. I questioned the tech about the "3" measurement and she said actually they are fine with seeing 2.5. That made me feel alot better, so I let her finish up what she was doing without asking 20 more questions.

I then went to another room to wait for Dr. S. I was so tired, and SO hot (it's been over 100 here in STL on a daily basis). I finally just gave in and lied down on the table. But then that hurt, and I was having trouble breathing, so I rolled over on my side. I must have looked like a beached whale when Dr. S walked in, lol.

Her first words were "it's time. It's time to take you out of work." I have never struggled to sit up so quickly! I asked if it was b/c of cervical length and she said that, but more importantly I'm showing some funnelling, bag of water is making it's way into the cervix. THIS was a shock to me.

She ordered the fFn test for the next day, that can be predictive of onset of labor in the next 2 weeks. She put me on bedrest for 48 hours (Wed and Thurs) and said I may be able to tie things up at work on Friday.

I had already decided (while beached whaling it) that I wouldn't fight bedrest if there was good reason. However, I had a meeting scheduled for Wed morning that I was running, adn the only person from my office to go. I asked if I could go. She asked where and what time, and I told her. She said "absolutely not, your water could break, on the way there, and I would never forgive myself."


The thought of my water breaking just FLOORED me. I started crying. She started crying. (I have a way of doing that to docs, lol). She told me she'd been warning me from the begining that this day would come, and this is why. She didn't want me to be surprised. but, how could I NOT be surprised!?!?

I just had this obviously WRONG idea that my body was strong enough to pull this off.

"What if fFn is positive?" She told me I'd go to labor and delivery to start the steriod shots to strengthen babies lungs.


Really, my babies could come this early? I've been telling people "probably September." Never in my wildest dreams have I even ENTERTAINED the idea of "maybe July."

Fastforward to Wed. Dan drove me for the fFn test, which luckily came back negative, meaning that there's a 90% change I WON'T go into labor in next 2 weeks.
I talked with nurse this morning, who confirmed bedrest until Tues, at which time I'll get another u/s to measure cervical length, and then meet with Dr. S to discuss a plan.

So, here I sit. Dan is off running errands, Mother in Law came to pick up Sophie, and I'm not so patiently having my second day of bedrest. I'm just torn between knowing this is what is best, but also knowing that I am already eating up my leave time. I fully expected to go back to work tomorrow. I felt confident in that after getting my negative test result last night. So, Dr. S knocked me down again making me stay out until Tues.

I also HATE the unknown. I am a planner by nature. I need to know what is next, and then next. The fact that I won't know anything until Tues is driving me nuts, and even then I know that will only plan for a few weeks.

But again, the good news is that babies are good. I was SO paranoid (prior to u/s) that baby A wasn't doing well, but she is.

I'm feeling major guilt that I'm still not bonding with these guys though. I would have expected this situation to help with that, but it hasn't so far. That's a different post though.

Friday, July 8, 2011

19 months!

Just sitting here at work thinking of my little sweet pea, and thought I needed to make some unofficial stats.
1) 18-24 months clothes
2) hair is ALMOST long enough for a pony!!!
3) She loves her baby dolls and taking them for walks.
4) I caught her trying to put her paci in her babies mouth, and also give her milk out of her sippy:)
5) She still has a really odd facination with diapers (clean, thankfully!)
6) She gave Sierra her first hug, and Sierra actually accepted it:)
7) SHe's getting more picky with what she eats (hardly any meat), but she can chow down on just about any fruit. She has also taken a sudden liking to yogurt and applesauce.
8) She has started wanting us to put her animal cracker or goldfish snacks in a bottle! Weird.
9) First attempt at sidewalk chalk this week. She loved it:)
10)Still no words. Leaning towards speech therapy. My sister didn't talk until she was 2, and she still hasn't shut up, so that makes me feel a bit better.
11) She found a plastic tube, about 2 feet long, when we moved. She pushes it around the floor like she is mopping:)
12)She loves to sit on the couch like a big girl, and also sit on any stoop/stair she can find. I need to get her a table/chair set.
13) Size 5 shoes and they are the first thing she wants to put on in the morning.
14) She's SUCH a girly girl. She loves to carry a purse, a baby, and begs me to put lotion on her. SHe'll hold out her arms for me to lotion up, when she sees me doing it:)
15) She is now mimicking Sierra's "hairballs." So ladylike:)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Pine-Sol anyone?

I've been busy. Really, really busy. We have moved, and moved in comfortably to our new house. Yes, there are pictures coming (I bought a new camera), but it's the last thing on my priority list right now.

Brief updates: I am over 26 weeks pregnant now! Things are fine. I'm just tired, and getting bigger by the day.I'm averaging about a gain of a pound a week. I see Dr. S next week for a 27 week appt. It's at that time that she "threatened" (that's how I'm taking it) to reduce my work hours. I will also do the glucose test next week. Lately, I will wake up at night to my hip bones just throbbing. I don't know if it's the extra weight, or the the fact that I can only sleep on my side or what, but my hips ACHE at night.

Sophie was 19 months yesterday. SHe has transitioned to the house very well, without even batting an eye really. Bad news is that she is back to sleeping with us, but that is our fault, in that we lost a screw to the spring in her bed and she can't use it until we find a new screw. Let's blame it on Dan. He was supposed to find one for me, but hasn't yet. ANd I have too many other things to do than chase him down for a screw. Hahaha, no pun intended. I wasn't even trying to be clever!

Sierra is an anxious ball of fur. She desparately wants to go back "home." Poor thing. I hope she gets over this before babies come. I don't have the patience right now to deal with much more of her anxiety.

Dan is also adjusting. I knew it would be a stretch for him, he is very much a creature of habit. Despite desperately wanting this move to happen, it has taken it's toll. He's on the unswing now though, thankfully.

Our condo gets taken over by renters on July 15. We went over this weekend to start the cleaning process and I opened a bottle of pine-sol I didn't even know we had. OMG, I felt like a druggie. That freaking cleaner smelled SO good. I'm embarrased to admit that I have been thinking about it quite often since this weekend. Is this one of those crazy ODD pregnancy things? No, of course I'm not going to drink it! I'm not sure if it's nesting or what, but each day I go home and think about dousing our house with it. The only thing stopping me is that I left the bottle at the condo. Is it the smell, or the obvious need for my little nest to be sparkling clean? I don't know.

For anyone who has e-mailed/called me and hasn't gotten a response, I will get to it...I swear! Between the move and all that entails I am lucky to put both of my shoes on before leaving home in the morning!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

misc updates

Dan washed my camera. Yes, that's right. He turned the dryer on and heard the tell-tale thumping of something in the dryer that was NOT a piece of clothing. He said "damn, I hope that wan't my phone!" Well, lucky for him it wasn't, but it was indeed my camera. I loved my little camera, so compact, so easy to use. Luckily, we have a back-up, but unfortunately don't have the cable to connect it to the computer for downloading, so looks like I'm getting a new camera! Until then, no pics:(

Sophie's first day at her music class went as well as it could. She was the youngest, and the only one not talking, but I think she really did enjoy the socialization. We went back yesterday, and I left her after about 15 minutes. I waited until she was really INTO something and slowly walked out. It was hard, and I only just moved to the porch of this lady's house. But, Sophie did great. They came out at the hour mark for a break, and I took that opportunity to take her home. Next time, we'll try for 1.5 hours. She's not really going to get much out of the class, lol, but I feel good that she is around other little people her age. They do alot of clapping, general rythm stuff, and sing some kid songs:)

ALSO, and this is BIG news...we signed her up for daycare. Starting mid-August she'll be going two days a week to an in-home daycare. Dan REALLY fought me on it, and I think that the root of it was that he thought I was saying he isn't good enough to watch her. I had to explain to him that 1) this is about her and NOT him, and she's at the point where she needs to socialize, learn to share, see the world outside of our condo, and that 2) when these babies come he is going to be so grateful when I take Sophie with me in the morning.

I have mixed feelings about it. I'm stuck on the fact that I am changing her world to make room for these babies. I know it's not all about that, but it makes me feel bad. I KNOW she needs to get out into the world. My parents were total "live in a bubble" type of people when it came to me. I will NOT be like that with Sophie, nor do I want to. My dad would probably fall over dead if he knew that one of the boys in her music class is African American, and another one is mulatto. Oh the horror, lol!

I also hate that we'll be sending her to daycare when I am home on maternity leave. I feel like she should be home with us then, but I know consistency is important, and I know she'll be getting a lot more (and quality) attention at daycare than I'll be able to provide her with newborn twins.

But it's hard. I'm still struggling dailey with the fact that I am bringing two new little people into her world, to take away the attention and love that she is used to. Matter of fact, we're going to stop this convo right here b/c I'm ready to cry just thinking about it.

House news...it's official...we close on our house tomorrow at 3 pm!!! After the hell we've gone through to get to this point, I just hope it works out. AND, we have tenant signatures on our leasing agreement so that is offical too!!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The chaos that is buying/selling (renting) a house...

For those following along in our home search/home buy/home sell drama, I finally feel fairly confident in updating what is going on. I think I'm past the stage where I feel I might "jinx" something. Here is the run-down.
1) Our condo went on the market in mid January.
2) Despite MANY private showings, we didn't get ONE offer.
3) Early February, we found a house in a cute little neighborhood, in the school district in which Dan grew up (this was his requirement). It's a fairly expensive area, so for us to find something that we liked/could afford, was a big deal.
4) We put in an offer, they countered, we played the house buying game, and agreed on a price.
5) Then came the financing snafu, which was BEYOND difficult because we hadn't sold our condo. I will save all the dirty details of that, but we finally made it work. ***How we were going to pay two mortgages for an extended period of time, I didn't know, but I was on a mission.***
6. Late February, I started hinting to Dan that we should be open to the idea of renting our condo. He was SO against it at the time, we could not even have a conversation. Seriously, he just blew up and wouldn't even entertain the idea. Because I know him so well, I waited a few weeks, brought it up again, his reaction was slightly better, but still FAR from accepting of the idea. Lather, rinse, repeat, several times.
7. I finally wore him down, lol, but did it in as rational, logical a way as a could. I gathered the facts, put them in front of him and didn't back down:) He agreed to try to rent, if we work with an agency (as opposed to putting a random ad on Craiglist).
8. We met with an agent who LOVED our condo, and Dan loved her. We had showings just a few days later.
9. Yesterday, we signed a leasing agreement for a couple that is moving in from out of state. I googled them (of course) and think it's a great thing. They are both PhD's, and the husband is also a J.D. He will be teaching at a local university this fall. The best news is that the rent they are paying will take care of ALL of our mortgage, plus our condo fees. Phew.

I just really need to start wrapping things up in pretty little packages. I'm done with not knowing what is going to happen. We close on our new house next Thursday, and move the following Monday. Gathering all of the documents for our new home loan has been one of the most stressful things for me. It's still not "tied up" yet, but it's close. The underwriters are going to give me a heart attack. My mom doesn't know "how you've been carrying two babies with all the stress you are under." Gee, thanks mom. You really know how to make a pregnant girl feel good.

Speaking of that, I saw my OB on Tues. We did a growth u/s and both babies look great. Baby girl is 1.7 pounds, and Baby boy is 1.8 pounds. Although these weights sounds REALLY close together,it's actually a 3% difference. They don't start to worry though, until the difference is about 10%. So I'm feeling good about that. My cervix was measuring 3.75 so we're good there.

Dr. is starting to lay down the law again about my taking it easy. She said in this next month (prior to next appt), she wants me to start "listening" to my body, and go hoome early if I need/take a nap/whatever. My boss is totally cool with this, but it's just not my personality. Plus, I don't want to use my leave time now. But, I will listen to her, especially after the house closing/move is over. I'll be taking several partial days off in the next few weeks to deal with that, but once July hits, I may cut down an hour a day. She also said that at my next appt, she was probably going to ask me to cut down 2-3 hours a day. I still have mixed feelings about this, if I am feeling good, but I will do what she says.

Starting to babble now...will post later about Sophie's first music class and potential daycare:)

Monday, June 13, 2011

18 months...

Yes, Sophia ACTUALLY turned 18 months on June 5...and it's now June 13...but it's the best I can do, lol. Our life is crazy right now.
Official stats:
1) 26.2 pounds (50-75th percentile)
2) I forgot her actual height (!!),but it is 25-50th percentile. She's finally perking up!
3) Head is still 75-90th percentile!

Dr. R said everything is looking good. I had to fill out a survey that shows early indicators of autism...she has none, but I knew that. Dr really questioned us about her vocab, which I knew she would, but I'm not worried. No shots, thankfully!

Unofficial stats:
1) gives kisses...when you see her tight lipped and saying "mmmmmmmmm" you know she wants a kiss. She even does this to Sierra. They are few and far between though, so you're very lucky if she picks you:)
2) The hugs just get better. Feeling her little arms squeeze so tightly around my neck is just about the best thing ever.
3) She also uses "hugs" to try to get out of something. For example, every night "jammy time" is turning into a run for Dan, begged to be picked up, and then hold on tightly to him...until I come find her and whisk her away like a bad mom, lol.
4) She also has started running and "hiding" when it's time for a diaper change.
5) Sierra gets hugs too.
6) If you are really lucky the hugs are accompanied by pats on the back, or head:)
7) 18-24 month clothes; size 4 dipes, size 5 nighttime dipes
8) not only does she squat when she poos, she has started to tap her diaper when she pees. Dr. R gave us the go ahead to try some potty training whenever we are ready.
9) Has taken a sudden liking to the fork, but still needs help in spearing whatever it is she wants to eat.
10) Incisors should be coming soon...I give it two weeks for the first one. Lots of drooling going on.
11) When she gets excited she SQUEELS. It's the best. Her focal range is up there with Mariah:)
12) SHe LOVES balls, any size, any texture. She loves them. She likes to roll them, but LOVES to kick them.
13) Bubbles are also a newish favorite of hers. We blow them in the house for her, we are bad parents!
14) When she wants to go somewhere she will either a) come to us with some combo of her shoes, our keys, my purse, or b) we'll find her at the front door with shoes in hand. Sometimes her baby doll is also waiting patiently in her stroller at the front door;)
15) When she's ready for bed, she'll a) come to me with her milk, and 3 wubbies, or b) she'll drag a pillow off of our bed into the living room.
16)I try really hard not to freak out when she falls outside. I've taught her to "brush herself off" if she does fall, which consists of standing, wiping her knees, and then rubbing her hands together to get the dirt off. Super cute:)
17) She LOVES Sierra's leash. It's annoying.
18) She smiles for the camera now:)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

21 weeks

Well, now that I'm almost 22 weeks, I thought I should update with 21 week info.

How far along: 21 weeks, 5 days

Total weight gain/loss: Um. 22 pounds. As I am scarfing down Sonic tots as I type.

Maternity clothes: Everything. Nothing else stands a chance, except I just went up a size in underwear, I didn't see the need to buy maternity.

Stretch marks: I analyze my belly every morning, but so far nothing.

Sleep: I had a really great stretch, but the insomnia is back again. I took a Tylenol PM last night and STILL woke up. I'm afraid if I take 2 I wouldn't wake to Sophie's crying.

Best moment last week: ???

Movement: Fairly common now, but it still feels like thumps, not kicks or punches.

Food cravings: Still sweets, and also plain old carbs. Bread and butter? Sign me up!

Gender: Boy and Girl!!

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: In, but fading quickly.

Other random yuckiness: Sciatica is gone for now, migraines are back. I can't catch a break.

What I miss: my cute summer clothes.

What I am looking forward to: Hitting 24 weeks, when babies will be considered viable.

Taken last Sunday at 21 weeks.

Monday, May 23, 2011

20 weeks (over halfway there!!)

How far along: 20 weeks, 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: We're going to stick with 19 for now. It's been going up, and then down, but 19 is a good average;)

Maternity clothes: Today I am wearing one of about 3 non-maternity tops. After these quit fitting, it's hello tent clothes:(

Stretch marks: Nope, but at the rate I'm growing it might not be long:(

Sleep: Surprisingly, sans medication, the last two nights of sleep have been delightful. Except for the occational Sophie wake-up, I slept right through. I was sleeping SO well both nights that I was disoriented when I woke up. Now THAT is some good sleep!!!

Best moment last week: Got to hear heart beats at OB office yesterday. She was able to pick both up on the Doppler, and swore she could tell the difference, so I was fine with that:)

Movement: Movement is still irregular, and I still have no idea how I'm supposed to tell the difference in the two:)

Food cravings: Still sweets, and also plain old carbs. Bread and butter? Sign me up!

Gender: Boy and Girl!!

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: In, but fading quickly.

Other random yuckiness: The migraines have been replaced by sciatica. It was so bad that last Tues-Thurs I couldn't raise my right foot off the ground more than a few inches. I almost could NOT get in and out of the car. I broke down and called OB who referred me to a physical therapist who specializes is pregnancy PT. I LOVE it:) A the end, I get a nice little rub down, topped off by an ice pack:)

What I miss: my cute summer clothes.

What I am looking forward to: Hitting 24 weeks, when babies will be considered viable.

Here's a picture of me...and S...and Sierra's tail:) I swear, although my boobs have grown, they are NOT this saggy. Looks like there's a wrinkle in my shirt or something, I swear that's what it is. As of my OB appt yesterday, I am 20 weeks, measuring 27 weeks.

For comparison's sake, here's a link to my 27 week pic with Sophie.

And just because...this is my sweet little raggamuffin in the morning. Big smile and a hot mess of hair. How do I ever get up to go to work with this little lady chasing me around in the AM????!!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sophia updates

I am a bad, bad mom. I never posted Sophia's 17 months unofficial stats.
Here they are...
1) We've packed away all 12 month clothes. Solidly in 18 months, and a few are 24 months (because her head is so big!)
2) Loves shoes and socks, and tries to put them on herself, and us. She loves to help me put my shoes on and take them off.
3) She has found the velcro on the diapers that she wears. She's been aware of the velcro on diapers she isn't wearing for a LONG time, but she's starting to play with the velcro (through her clothes), when the diaper is on.
4) She squats when she poos, and has started grabbing at herself when she pees (not sure if the grabbing is before or after the pee), but she is definately identifying something is happening down there.
5) When we ask her to dance, she's stomp in place for a bit, looks like a little jig;)
6) Dan has taught her "sumo." When you say it, she'll start to pound on her belly.
7) She is finally learning to be gentle with Sierra. Sierra is still skitish around her, but we're working on it.
8) Her fave foods can change daily. One day she'll eat bananas, the next she won't touch. Same with every other food. Luckily, she loves almost all fruit, it just depends on the day what she will actually eat.
9) She's loving her board books. I took her "pop up" book away from her b/c she was very deliberately looking at me and then ripping the pop up part off.
10) Tantrums have started. Dan and I ignore them. It's working so far.
11) Oh, oh, my FAVORITE...she is officially giving hugs. She doesn't do it on command, but her gesture is an obvious arms around the neck and then a squeeze. Her hugs are the best thing ever.
12) Still sleeping 12 hours a night, typically 7:30-7:30. We're slowly but surely getting her transitioned back to her crib.
13) Hate, hate, HATES the bath. Hate's water in her eyes.
14) Loves my bracelets and purses. And shoes. She's a girl:)
15)Not much more than babbling still, but she understands ALOT, some of which are complex statements. "get the pillow off the bed." "put your jammies in the dirty clothes." "get your wubby and milk and let's go to bed."
16) No signs of canine teeth yet. I thought for sure they were on their way, but we're still rolling with 12 teeth.
17) Tolerates her inhaler REALLY well, and even likes to help me shake the med and hold the mask to her face.
18) Fave snacks are cheerios and goldfish. And cheese. Lots and lots of cheese:)

Monday, May 16, 2011

19 weeks!

How far along: 19 weeks, 1 days

Total weight gain/loss: 19 pounds. NINETEEN. I told Dr S I was concerned about this, but she didn't seem to be worried. She "cleared" me for more excercise since things are going ok right now. But really. NINETEEN pounds. I only gained 23 with Sophia.

Maternity clothes: ALL pants are maternity, and most tops, although I am very picky about the tops right now. I need to wear the kind with rusching. I just don't feel comfortable yet in the OBVIOUS tent-style tops.

Stretch marks: Nope, but at the rate I'm growing it might not be long:(

Sleep: The insomnia is beyong ridiculous. I'm trying to learn to work with it, though, and my new plan is to just get up when I wake up and get to work. It's better than lying in bed, feeling sorry for myself. Last night was actually good. I slept until 5:30, at which time I woke up wide awake without an alarm clock.

Best moment last week: I'm feeling some movement. Nothing consistant, and it's more little thumps that real movement, but it's there:)

Movement: See above.

Food cravings: Still sweets, and also plain old carbs. Bread and butter? Sign me up?

Gender: Boy and Girl!!

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: In, but fading quickly.

Other random yuckiness: Migraines are still kicking, and the heart burn has set in also. It's not nearly as bad as with Sophie, when drinking water would make my throat feel like it was on fire, but it's still not good.

What I miss: A full nights sleep.

What I am looking forward to: Our "big" ultrasound is today, although we already know the sexes. Looking forward to seeing McBabies again:) I hate that I can't shake the irrational fear that comes before each u/s.

Friday, May 13, 2011

testing, testing...

I lost my most recent post. Just testing to see if this one will post (and stay posted).

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Geez Louise I need to catch up. Updates since my last post include:
1) A babymoon!
2) Mother's Day
3) Sophie is 17 months!
4) I am 18 weeks pregnant!!

I'm going to tackle the first two now, as they *sort of* go hand in hand. Dr. S told us at our first prenatal appt that if we wanted to travel it
a) has to be before 20 weeks
b) has to be within the US
c) is best to leave Sophie at home.

I did fine with the first two requirements, but the third was much harder.

In the end, we went to St. Pete Beach in Florida. It was great. I did nothing, lol. Beach in the AM, pool in the PM, lather, rinse, repeat. Sophie stayed with my parents for the first 3 days, and with Dan's mom for the final two. It was SO hard leaving her. My parents dropped us at the airport, so she was in the car when we got out. She definately looked distressed, like she knew something wasn't right, but my mom says she never cried. I, on the other hand, was a mess. Cried checking in, cried going through security, weepy while in line for breakfast.

Dan and I both agreed we're not leaving her again. Night time was hardest for me, since our routine is that she falls asleep with me. Plus, I didn't have alcohol to drown my sorrows:(

We got home the Sat night before Mother's Day, and spent that day very low key, unpacking, hanging with Sophie, just getting back into our routine.

Two pics from the trip, one of which is an obvious belly shot at 17w5d.

Mother's Day 2011, 18 weeks

More tomorrow....

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Fun in the Mud:)

To celebrate that ONE nice day in the last 10 days or so, we went out for a walk. On non-rainy days we've been doing this nightly, and Sophie LOVES it.

My two new fave pics.

And now the MUD:):) Dan told me not to let her walk in the puddle. I just laughed and let her walk right in! I swear, I will not be one of those moms that doesn't let her kids do things because she doesn't want to clean up the mess. (Someone might have to remind me of this the first time I see finger paint on the wall!)

She was so hesitant to stick her hand in. She looked up at me, not for approval, but as if to say "do I really want to do this?"

And then of course she had to show me the fun:)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

16 weeks!

How far along: 16 weeks, 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: 10 pounds (gulp--it is really packing on, suddenly). For the record, I think most of it is in my boobs. Holy cup size batman. I looked in the mirror this morning and yowza! I mentioned last time I thought I was getting a bump? Not so much. It looks more like I just lost my waist.

Maternity clothes: ALL pants are maternity at this point. My last pair of pre-preg jeans got packed away this weekend. No tops yet...way huge on me.

Stretch marks: Nope.

Sleep: Still dealing with MAJOR insomnia, and now some fun RLP that makes it feel like there is a gigantic rubberband in my uterus, whenever I try to roll over.

Best moment last week: Got to see McBabies again, and they are measuring really well so far!!!

Movement: Nope.

Food cravings: Still sweets. Nothing ever SOUNDS good. Dan asks what I want for dinner, and I can't answer, because nothing sounds good. I'm eating out of necessity, which is why I'm not certain where these 10 pounds just came from?!?!

Gender: Boy and Girl!!

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: In

Other random yuckiness: I still have horrible headaches. They gave me a script, but it is this horrible UN-coated pill that tends to disolve in my mouth before I can swallow, which in turn makes me want to hurl. Needless to say, I'm trying to deal with the headaches without the pill, but it *does* help, when I do take it.

I'm getting out of breath more quickly when I walk up stairs. This didn't happen as early with Sophie.

My boobs are starting to make those lovely changes that are so common in pregnancy. Ick.

I have a bump on my neck that looks like a mosquito bite. I had the same thing when pregnant with Sophie. It has to be related.

Insomnia continues to be my WORST enemy.

What I miss: A full nights sleep.

What I am looking forward to: Hmmmm...at this point, now that we know the sexes, I'm going to have to go for movement. I'm ready to feel some little bubbles in there, but I know it will be awhile longer.

Monday, April 25, 2011

dreams (and not good ones)

I had a dream last night about an alive baby, and a dead baby. What does this mean? In the dream, they were both swaddled, both looked like they were sleeping, except the one that was not alive was a bit bigger, a bit bloated. I put them down on the bed together to take a picture of them.

It wasn't a haunting dream, per se, but I have thought about it a few times today. I didn't wake up still thinking my baby was dead, but in the dream it was definately my baby. In the dream, I was very matter of fact about it, a live baby and a dead baby.

I started reading a murder mystery a few nights ago that had very detailed death scenes. Is that where this is coming from? I hope so.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Surprise ultrasound=sexes!!!

On my way to OB this morning, it occured to me that I should ask for an ultrasound. I know myself, and know that if my urine specimin comes back negative, then I will start to obscess about the cramping. I thought it might be a long shot, but I asked, and they said yes.

As I was waiting for the u/s lady it then occured to me that MAYBE I could find out the sexes of the babies. I didn't want them to think I was just trying to get an u/s to find out, so I was hestitant to bring it up, but I wanted to at least ask.

The u/s tech made it easy, though. She immediately zero-ed in on the heartbeats, and then started measuring the heads, giving me estimated weights (baby A is 6 oz, baby B is 5 oz), showing me the major organs. I asked if it was possible to sneak a peek between the legs and she said "of course!"

Baby A, who is apparently not shy at all, is a GIRL!!!! I was thrilled to know we'd have another girl:) Baby B took a bit of poking and prodding, but finally gave in and showed us HIS goods! Baby B is a BOY:) Obviously, most importantly, they appear to be extremely healthy and growing well. THis was just the icing on the cake!!!

I immediately felt bad that Dan hadn't been there, but knew that he would have wanted to know. Luckily, I was right, and he said "I knew it all the time." We've both guessed boy/girl from early on, and were even right in that baby A is the girl and B is the boy.

Tech also checked placentas, as well as my cervix and all looks good. She didn't give me a cervical measurement but said it was great. I saw on the screen 4.8something, and I think anything above 3 is good, so I'm relieved there as well.

I also found out that A has moved. She was in a little ball on my right side, and is now nice and cozy, lying under my belly button, across my abdomen. B is camped out somewhere behind her and apparently doesn't need as much room:)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

potential infection???

What was the sharp stabbing of RLP this morning turned into dull achy pains regardless of my position. I noticed it the first time while brushing my teeth. It wasn't the intense, take my breath away, pains of RPL, but was definatley enought to catch my attention. I walked Sierra and the pains continued around the block. They weren't continuous, but the scary part for me is they were all coming from the same spot. At least with the RPL, I was getting the pains all over, left, right, high, low. Today, they were all focused in my lower left pelvic region,

I got to work and they seemed to disappear until about an hour ago. I caved and called the OB and got to talk to my nurse, who asked lots of questions. Confirmed no bleeding, no contrax, etc. She said based on my description, it may be a UTI or bladder issue, so I'm going in tomorrow AM to pee in a cup. I'm glad I called, although I felt silly at the time. Thankfully she didn't dismiss my concerns.