Thursday, December 30, 2010

time for the over-analyzation of...everything.

Guess what? I'm spotting! This is great, but is causing such much UNanticipated anxiety. I haven't been keeping up with my cycles for the past 4 months, only know that they have been extremely regular. My nurse anticipates my period to start this Sunday, but if I'm already spotting I might start earlier. B/c that's how I've been rolling with pp periods.

THis morning, my neurotic thinking kicked into action as I was thinking about my GREAT prolactin level. I actually thought "I wonder if they got my test mixed up with someone elses? This would mean my prolactin could be really high, and prevent implantation. Should I call to make sure they gave me the right number?" YES, I really pondered calling, but then realized what an absolute freak-squad I was being and let it go...but the thought is still there lingering.

I'm feeling the need to update about Sophie's "un-official stats" before Jan 5. She's doing so much fun stuff right now, and I just don't want to forget it. For the last month or so, she's taken to lying on her belly in the middle of the floor. She'll just roll over on her belly, and lie there, cute as can be. I can also see the start of tantrums. When she's in belly pose, she has recently started to kick her feet on the ground. No screaming yet, but I'm anxiously anticipating.

I know I've mentioned before she points at EVERYTHING. She LOVES pointing at pics of herself on the wall. I assume she doesn't realize it's her, but when I say "where's the pretty baby" she points to her pictures:)

I realized last night that she is off the bottle! We've gradually been eliminating it, and now, suddenly, it's gone. YAY big girl:)

She LOVES straw sippies. She'll tolerate regular sippies, but in her world, the straw rules.

She discovered my nostrils. She broke my headband. SHe likes to rip the paper off of her nesting blocks. She continues to growl/grunt when hungry---very sexy:) She's been hanging out with all three Wubbanubs in tow, lately. She likes to feed Sierra....with people food. She is infatuated with my bathroom. She loves all trashcans, as well as their contents. She likes to "help" Dan empty the dishwasher.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Merry good Prolactin check to me!!!

With Christmas shopping, planning, etc, my b/w appt yesterday completely snuck up on me. I've been dreading the results of my prolactin level, fearing that my 2 weeks of weaning wouldn't have been enough time to drop the hormone to a sufficient level. BUT, it is at an 8, "within normal range." This means that I can start Estrace with the start of my next period, hopefully in the next 7 days or so. Yee-haw!!!

Christmas came and went in a whirlwind. Sophie wasn't all that in to the gift opening this year. I assume next year will be quite a different story. I, however, was ecstatic to spend the time with her. I was like a kid in a candy store, just loving the fact that I have a daughter to celebrate with.

Christmas Morning how can you resist this face??

Christmas Eve morning. Her first time in the snow.

Christmas Eve

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

and so it begins...

My FET meds arrived yesterday. Granted, they are a far cry (in amount and money) from fresh IVF meds, but it's still a bit daunting. This big 'ole pile of meds includes Estrace, Prednisone, antibiotics, pre-natal vits and progesterone (PIO). Those needles? Yeah, they're big. IM needles. I'm sure Dan can't wait, lol;)

To keep my eye on the prize, and remember why I am doing this...my sweet, sweet baby girl. Oh, how I want her to have a sibling.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Starting to play the moving game...

Dan and I spent the weekend loading two pods with all of our stuff (crap, according to Dan). We successfully filled TWO pods with bookcases, shelves, a dresser and a bazillion boxes of books and other misc stuff that we hope to not need for a few months.

Sunday, our handyman came over and helped us with some minor fixes that need to be done. So, we're *that* much closer to being able to put our condo on the market. I must say, it feels good to de-clutter. We still have a decent amount of painting to do, and some other handyman work that he couldn't get done yesterday. The deadline is January 10, which is when the realtor's photographer will come take pictures.

Thankfully, Sophia was a good girl (as usual), and let us get lots done this weekend. She goes through phases of independent play and thankfully this weekend was one of them.

Weaning is going well. After my last post about the engorgement I was having, I went home and pumped a bit. And then a bit more the next morning. Apparently, that was the trick, b/c I've had no more engorgement since then. I have leaked a bit here and there, but not much. We almost had a set-back though, last night. Sophie and I were in the tub. Yes, I'm back to getting in with her b/c it's the only way she won't throw a fit. All was fine until she turned around in the tub and saw my boobs. And she tried to go for it, lol, and I ALMOST let her, but fought it. We got out of the tub quickly after that.

Her nighttime sleep has also changed since weaning. She's sleeping an hour more in the morning. I'm assuming it's because she's more full from the whole cows milk??

Here are some of the latest pics.

She's learning how to hug and "pat" her baby on the back. I LOVE it:) See all that crap behind her? It's in the pod now...but not her toys!

Love this too...not much longer before that crawl will turn into a walk.

Loving her baby chunk:)

"Helping" me decorate the tree:)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Sophia's first birthday has come and gone. We had a fun party, and lots of our favorite people were able to make it. I'll post pics when I can. For now, I just wanted to catch up with a post, since the time is FLYING.

Sophia's official stats are 22 pounds (60th percentile), 29 inches (40th percentile), and 95th percentile in head, lol. She's been really consistent in all of her measurements for this first year.

She is back to hating bathtime:( She won't even sit down. I have to bathe her, in the bathtub, with her standing up. She's still interested in the bathtub though. I caught her last night, peering over the side...so I put her in, and got in with her, and we played, with no water, lol. I thought I'd try a bit of desensitization. We'll see.

Also, she LOVES to point! It started a few days before her birthday, and she is pointing at everything. I'm also attempting a little bit of basic sign language (milk, water, sleep, eat, etc). She just looks at me like I'm an idiot.

BIG news is that our FET is on the books for January 21st!!!! This is assuming my period will start on Jan 2, so if it doesn't, it could be one week earlier/later. I ordered meds yesterday too, and they should be delivered next week. I can't believe we're doing this again. I found my notes from consult with Dr. K.
In the first half of 2010, there were 7 cycles in which embryos were 1) from an egg of a 30-34 year old, and 2) frozen with the vitrification method. Of those 7 cycles, there were 6 transfers; of those 6 transfers there were 5 pregnancies (83%!!); of those 5 pregnancies, there were 4 sets of twins (80%!!). Those are some darn good odds, so I'm trying to keep myself in check.

We are almost at the point of complete weaning. Sunday was the last night I nursed her at bedtime. So, it's been almost 48 hours total, and my boobs are NOT happy. There was some leaking this morning, but so far nothing else today. I came *this* close to giving in to her last night. She always falls asleep in our bed, and then I transfer her to her crib. I gave her a bottle and she didn't think twice about it, but then after she finished she got really whiny. I don't think it was b/c I didn't nurse her, I think it was more b/c she was so tired. But is was so hard to NOT give in, b/c I knew nursing her would put her right to sleep.

I'm having some pretty serious guilt about this entire thing. I need to remind myself that I had planned to wean at one year anyway.

Friday, December 3, 2010

un-official stats for ONE year!!!

Well, the time is almost here for my baby girl to turn 1!! To be exact, 12:07 pm on December 5. Because I know this weekend is jam-packed, I thought I'd give Sophia's un-official stats a few days early.
1) size 3 diapers
2) 12-18 month clothes
3) EIGHT teeth!
4) SHe has discovered that drawers and cabinets open.
5) She delights in pulling things out of said drawers and cabinets, lol:)
6) She does not find it the least bit fun when the things she pulls out get put back in!
7) Sleeping overnight in her crib (finally!). She might wake up a time or two, but always goes back to sleep. I have NOT gone in to save her.
8) Falls asleep about 8:30, and sleeps until about 7 am.
9) Loves her glo-worm.
10)She gets one bottle of cows milk in the morning (4 oz). Otherwise she is still drinking breastmilk, whether fresh or frozen.
11) We're down to 2 nursing sessions. One when I get home from work and the other before she goes to bed. Next session to go (on Monday) is the one when I get home from work.
12) Loves to sleep on Dan's belly;)
13) Has found my belly button, and will point to it when I say "where is mamma's belly button."
13) Knows the term "wubby"...her Wubbanub (soothie).
14) She is as hot-blooded as her dad. SHe is a sweater, and fleece is not her friend.
15) SHe has my laid back personality. Not too much gets on her nerve.
16) She and Sierra and getting better at coexisting.
17) Stands on her own. I don't think walking is far behind.
18)Loves putting her toes in her mouth at diaper changes, assuming she is willing to stay on her back. I've had to change a few diapers later with her standing up.
19) SHe is intrigued by the fridge, and it's always a rush to get in/out before she can get there.
20) She eats. Alot. All the time.
21) She's starting to give kisses, which is more of an open mouthed saliva bath on my cheek. I adore her kisses:)

Monday, November 29, 2010

cows milk, straight up

Well, one of my worries has been swept off the table. This weekend, I gave Sophie a bottle with cow's milk only. I was really afraid she was not going to drink it, but she sucked it down:)

This week starts my cutting out the pre-work nursing session. My boobs were already full when I left for work, lol, and right now they feel like rocks:) I don't think I can hold out much longer!! I gave her a bottle this morning, which I thought she might resist, but surprisingly she is fine with it. Then, just to give myself a little relief, i let her nurse for one minute on one side and then stopped her.

Her b-day party planning is about done. I ordered the cake today, and we just have a few little things left on the list. I cannot believe she is going to be one.

In honor of the holidays...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

being thankful

I just got news that a pregnant co-worker lost her baby at 5 months, this past weekend. It hit me really hard, and I didn't even know her very well. She was showing, and SO excited to be pregnant:(

It just puts it into perspective for me how much of a miracle it really is to get, and stay pregnant. When I heard the news, I immediately went into questioning mode. She was here and worked late on Friday. At that time, she was still happily pregnant. But, something happened this weekend. What was it? Bleeding, contractions, what? Did she have an u/s on Saturday that told the bad news? She should have been feeling movement by this time. Did she go for awhile not feeling movement, and so went to the ER to get checked out? I hate that I am obsessing over this. I went back in my mind to our 20 week appt, when we found out that Sophie was a girl. What would have happened, how would our lives be different, if she had lost her heartbeat and we had found out that day?

How long would it have taken to get over it? WOuld we have tried again? COULD I have tried again?

I realize these are ridiculous questions, and most definately not a path I should travel down mentally for very long.

My heart goes out to A, and her family.

Monday, November 22, 2010

weaning, sleeping and bathtime oh my!

Weaning is...going, I guess. The first week of not pumping was successful. However, sitting at work on Friday, I realized we don't have enough frozen breastmilk to make it to the one year mark. I called the pedi nurse and got the ok to start mixing cows milk in with the breastmilk, which we started on Sunday. It didn't go so well, but that could also be because it was the first bottle I've given to her in months. She was less than thrilled, lol, and only ate about 50% of it. Which of course upset me, b/c there went 4 oz of breastmilk down the drain:(

I was planning on giving it until Thursday to cut another session. BUT, this morning I fed her at 5 am so decided to go with it, and not feed her again before I left for work. It was SUCH the decision for me. I kept going back and forth, but ultimately decided to leave without feeding her. BTW, thanks to lots of advice, I opted to make the next session to be cut out the before work feeding, as opposed to the before bed feeding. Often, I feel like I force her to eat in the morning. Not really force, b/c she doesn't complain, but she also can take it or leave it. So, this morning we left it. It was hard for me to not have that time with her before work though:( dislike.

Sleeping...is also going. Friday night she woke me up crying in her crib. I was in the DEEPEST sleep and honestly thought it was 4 or 5 in the morning. I thought "wow, she did really well" and went to get her, only to look at the clock in her room and see that it was only 11:50. But, I was in her room already, and there was no going back, so into our bed she went. Saturday night was better. Last night, she cried alot, but I hung in and she finally slept until 5 am:(

Bathtime...has taken an upturn. For the past 6 weeks or so, it's been like pulling teeth to put her in the bath. She was so resistant that I finally started trying to bathe her in the kitchen sink, because at least then I could stand and be more comfortable while trying to fight her tantrum. Finally, last week, I got in the tub with her. She was very cautious, but she sat on my lap and we played and we splashed and she *almost* had fun. Since then, I've found her several times just hanging out, looking in the tub. Last night, I opted to give her a bath, even though she didn't need one, just to keep her interested (and happy) with bathtime. So, it looks as if we've beat this issue:)

Friday, November 19, 2010

crying it out...

To update about weaning...so far, cutting out this first session has been ok. 2 days ago, I went 12 hours though, and that was a bit rough on the girls, but I made it home and Sophia was able to give me some relief, lol.

I need to talk about about her overnight sleeping. Up until my sisters wedding about 6 weeks ago, we were totally in the groove. I'd successfully moved her bedtime to 9ish (from 10ish), and it was working well for us. Then, we spent 2 days in a hotel, with lots of new hands holding her, and it all went to hell. Since then, she sleeps in bed with us more often than she doesn't. I've finally gotten to the point that I let her fall asleep in our bed, and then (attempt to) move her to her crib. This typically results in her screaming about 5 minutes after I put her down, to which I respond by picking her up again and putting her back in our bed. We do this cycle 2-3times before I give up and just let her sleep in our bed.

I KNOW it's just about comfort. Seriously, once I pick her up and she knows she's on the way back to our bed, she's asleep before her head hits the bed.

I do LOVE her to sleep next to me, but this also feeds into comfort nursing in the middle of the night. Lately, she has wanted to nurse up to 3 times each night. It's fine, BUT, I know she's not hungry, and quite honestly it is tiring. Not her actual nursing, but waking up, falling asleep, same thing 2 hours later. Each night, I tell myself this has got to stop. THis is NOT going to be good for weaning.

So last night, I laid down the law. When I got home I told Dan "I'm going to let Sophie cry tonight. I don't know how long I will last, but I need you to be supportive of whatever I decide. I don't need your physical help, but I do need your emotional support so no sighing, foot-tapping, hand-patting on the chair to let me know in your passive aggresive way that you on not happy." He said ok, and that was that.

Fastforward to bedtime. She finally fell asleep in our bed, after nursing, at about 9:45. I put her in her crib at 10:10, and the crying started about 5 minutes later. She cried for 20 minutes. I wanted to give in. I really did. The only thing that stopped me was the realization that if she comes back to our bed, I will once again not get a solid night's sleep, not to mention the weaning aspect. Plus, I kept remembering people telling me "if you give in and go get her, you're going to have to go this long, plus more time, next time you try it." That alone was reason to not give in. And, the thought of my letting her cry like this was possibly scarring her for life also entered my mind a few times. As I was going back and forth in my mind, she stopped. Silence. For a second I wondered if she was dead, and that I realized how ridulous that thought was. I started to drift off, and then the crying started again. Slightly louder. She cried for another 10 minutes and then silence again. And that was that.

I must confess that I had a glass of wine before this ordeal started. Because I knew it would be an ordeal. It did make it slightly better, I guess. Is it horrible of me that I didn't find her crying completely heart-breaking? I mean, it was obvious she wasn't in pain. Her decibel level did get up there a few times, but for the most part it was a "why isn't anyone paying attention to me" cry.

She did wake up one time in the middle of the night, but I must have been exhausted b/c I barely heard her, which means I did NOT go get her. She woke up on her own at 7, ready to nurse, and then right back to sleep:)

So, I don't think there's any permanent damage done!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Project Weaning

The time has arrived. Today is my/our first day of weaning. It's pretty bittersweet to be at this point. I never in a million years thought that I would even WANT to breastfeed, let alone do it for over 11 months. I feel really good about, although a bit guilty about the weaning. I know that even if we weren't planning on a FET, I had planned to stop at 12 months. I just feel guilty that she is missing out on more, just b/c I am being selfish and want to try to have another baby.

I have stopped pumping at work (which allows me 10 minutes to write this post). Sophia obviously won't be affected by my stopping pumping, but my boobs sure are dreading it. I would say there have been a handful of times since returning to work that I forgot my pump/pump parts at home, and so couldn't pump. Let's just say I was thrilled when I got home. I'm assuming I'll start getting pretty uncomfortable about 3 pm.

I'm going to attempt to cut out 1 session every 7-10 days. Next week will be the before bed feeding, which generally happens around 9 pm. I am DREADING her reaction to it:(

Since there is sure to be lots of boob talk in the next few weeks, let's look at some fun pics today:)

Blurry, but I don't care. I love her little sausage arms. THis was Saturday, before bathtime:)

She loves cheese:) Until we got smart with cubed cheese, we were giving her shredded, which is what is all over her in this pic. Also, she is showing us her "touchdown" move:)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The FET plan:)

Phew...I went in Monday to get my P4 drawn to make sure I wasn't close to O'ing. I forgot my purse at home, and then had some serious anxiety when I pulled into the parking lot. I got the call that my P4 was where it should be for the cycle day, so we went in yesterday to talk to Dr. K.

She did the SHG and TET first. When she walked in to the u/s room, she looked dissapointed that Sophia wasn't there, lol. I told her she was in the waiting room with Dan and she was happy again:) She asked if Sophie had learned how to say "Aunt Sarah" yet (her name). I told her no, but she would:) The procedures hurt like a mo-fo...and the dildo-cam...what more can I say about that??!

The good news is that everything looked fine. Next up was the consult. She and the rest of the staff oohed and aahhed over our sweet girl for a few minutes, and then we got down to business. Turns out that we have three embies, not two. The third one is necrotic, so obviously not the best option, but it looked good enough that the very picky lab had decided to freeze it in the first place.

The GREAT news is that in Jan 2009 the lab switched to a new freezing technique, vitrification. Apparently, this is a stellar method:) In the first 1/2 of 2010, for FETs where the embies were frozen using this method (and in my age range when embies were retrieved), the stats are as follows...7 FETs resulted in 5 pregnancies; 5 pregnancies resulted in 4 sets of twins. Holy cannoli. Essentially, if we can get pregnant, there's an 80% chance of twins.

She never gave us a percentage for us, but bottom line, our chances are MUCH better this time around than they were with FET #1.

The plan is for me to wrap up bfing by the end of the year. I'll start Estrace with my January cycle (most likely early in the month), with FET planned for a Friday in late January or early Feb.

I'm a bit intimidated by the likelihood of twins, but we're just as likely to be one of the two couples for whom this doesn't work. So we'll see. We're going with it. Dan was completely freaked out, but when I asked if he wanted to postpone/not do it at all, he said absolutely not.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

11 months!!!

Friday was Sophia's 11 month birthday. Just one more month until the big one, but for now...the unofficial stats.
1) red hair/blue eyes
2) wearing 12 and 18 month clothes
3) SEVEN teeth!!! 4 bottom and 3 top
4) no more baby food for her. If you stick a spoon by her mouth she'll smack it away. She's all about self-feeding, so we're into cheese (shredded and cubed), diced pickles and tomatos, peas, carrots, corn. So far, the only thing she hasn't eaten is steamed brocolli. I think it just wasn't the right texture for her. She didn't mind the taste, just couldn't chew it.
5) Is very into electrical outlets and wall vents:(
6) 2nd haircut
7) loves to play with (unused) diapers
8) growls (yes, growls) when she is hungry. It's at those times that Dan calls her "your daughter"
9) size 3 diapers, and size 4 overnight for bedtime
10) does not dig people that she doesn't know well, or only sees rarely
11) the only toy she plays with on a daily basis is her box of letter/number blocks. She contantly takes the blocks out...puts the blocks in...lather, rinse, repeat.
12) She sings to us. We call it her "Mariah."
13) She'd much rather be standing than sitting.
14) She's cruising, and I expect walking will be here very soon.
15) So far, she has no problem with car rides. I'm worried she's going to start fussing soon, but I'm trying hard to keep her rear facing until she's 2.
16) Seems to finally have more of an interest in books than just chewing on them.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

the beginnings of a FET plan...

After numerous messages to/from Dr. K's secretary, I have an appt on Nov 9 to see Dr. K for a consult. At that time, she will also do the SHG, to make sure my uterus is nice and smooth and the trial embryo transfer. The TET is done to "map" the path to my uterus, in preparation for the actual transfer. At first, I was told I couldn't schedule these b/c I am still bfing, but after further investigation, aka annoying pushing from me, I was told that these two procedures can be done. I just have to get my p4 drawn the day before to make sure I am not Oing.

It's hard for me to believe that I'm back to talking in acronyms.

The FET plan, in my head, goes something like this...I will start weaning Sophie mid-November with the plan to be completely done bfing by the end of the year. At that point, I can start Estrace for the FET cycle. If I remember correctly, I was on it for several weeks with FET #1. FET would actually take place late January to mid-February.

I'm curious how Dr. K's plan will differ from that. I can't imagine it will be much different. In my mind, my main concern is that I want her to do the FET (as opposed to one of the other 2 RE's there). Plus, unless it's changed, FETs are only done on Fridays, just b/c they are so much more predictable and easier to plan for than a fresh transfer.

We have two frozen embryos and we'll transfer them both, should they both thaw. Thaw rate at Dr, K's office is 75%, but all three of ours thawed for FET #1.

Honestly, I'm not holding out much hope that it will work, but I have to give them a shot. I desparately WANT it to work, but I'm trying to be realistic. And the reality is, it took 8 tranferred embryos to get Sophia, so the likelihood of one of these 2 thawing and sticking around is not great.

I'm not too emotional about it at this point, but I know that will come. I just want it done so it's...well..done. This will most likely be the end of the line for us. I can't put forth the mental effort to go through another fresh cycle. Sophia is plenty for both of us, and we are absolutely content with her. That said, I would love for her to have a sibling. I feel like we owe it to her to try.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

10 months (much delayed)

I'm forcing myself to sit down and write this now, before I think about it again and then get too busy. My work is swamped, I'm working way more than normal. At home, it's Sophie, and a very clingy, in-need-of-attention Sierra. We're getting ready to put our condo on the market, so in the bit of down-time, if I can really call it that, we are painting, cleaning, buying out Home Depot for various home beautification products.

This all means that I didn't post Sophie's 10 month un-offical stats. I think about it every day (yes, I'm serious), but there is literally no.time.at.all.

So here we go:)
1) red hair and blue eyes
2) Her hair grows so fast, she's already in need of another haircut. Perhaps before her first b-day party?
3) She is getting quite the personality.
4) When she doesn't want the food you are offering her, she will either a) clamp her mouth down and turnd away or b) push the spoon away, forcefully.
5) If she doesn't want her Wubbanub, she now THROWS it. Again, forcefully.
6) She doesn't have a favorite toy right now, really. She's more into exploring, and digging rocks and bits of tissue out of our rugs:)
7) Pulling up really well, and able to bear weight on her legs for a minute or two.
8) 12-18 month clothes are most comfy for her.
9) Size 3 diapers.
10) She's getting ready to outgrow the changing table. She finds it funny to kick all the lotions, creams, diapers off the end of the table!
11) We spent a few days away from Sierra and Sophie SQUEELED when she saw her again:)
12) Much to Dan's dismay, her favorite room in the condo is the kitchen.
13) As of 10 months, she had 3 teeth. Well, really 2.5, as her upper was still not all the way in. Two days ago, she got her 4th! So now, she has two middle bottom and two middle top.
14) Not in the 10 month timeline, but last night she learned (and got) how to give us "5." It's WAY cute and she laughs each time.
15) She uses us as her jungle gym, climbing all over us...paying no attention to eyes, mouth, hair etc.
16) She has a sick infatuation with pulling my hair. SO not fun:(
17) She had her first swing experience this weekend. She seemed to like it. (pic below)
18) She prefers table food or infant finger food to jarred foods. She loves chicken, and cheese:)
19) She was in her first wedding (my sister's) at the ripe old age of 10 months (pic below)
20)She continues to be the light of our lives. Each day, I am so thankful that I hung in for so long, and was blessed with such a perfect child:)

Thursday, September 23, 2010


I found out yesterday I have B12 and Vitamin D deficiencies. For a few months now, I have just been dragging. I haven't really complained about it, just figured it was something I signed up for as a working mom. I've been tossing around going to the dr, but kept putting it off. Finally, when I woke up the Tues morning after Labor Day and felt as tired as I did before the 3 day weekend even started, I decided to make an appt. The main issue, other than complete exhaustion is that I've had alot of trouble concentrating, making connections, and just generally having this feeling of "foggy brain." If someone were to ask me what happened in the meeting yesterday, I couldn't answer immediately. I'd have to stop and think of what day it is today, what that would make yesterday, and then work my way mentally through the day to get to the meeting. I feel like it's starting to affect my job a bit, and that's not good.

So, I made an appt with a new dr. I hate my old PCP, and my gyno wouldn't do the b/w for me. He called last night to say I have both Vit D and B12 deficiencies. I'm going to start taking an IM injection for the B12 and a pill for the Vit D. He was surprised that both were low, especially the Vit D, since it's summer time. I think he said I'll take 3 injections once a week and then get tested again.

So, that's my latest story. Oh, and the bigger news that I will post about later (once I have more to report) is that I made the call to Dr. K to get my FET consult scheduled. Sandy (secretary) and I are in conversations to figure out what is going to work schedule-wise. I didn't realize that I need to have a period before getting my SHG and TET done again. BUT, she is checking with Dr K to see if that is absolutely necessary.

Now, two of my favorite new pics:)

Friday, September 17, 2010


Sophia graduated from PT yesterday!!! I was shocked! Dan went into the appt thinking it would be her last, but I didn't. I still thought I was seeing a bit of a tilt, but I guess not. Beth (PT) said "she looks great, I don't see any tilt at all." We watched her play for about 45 minutes and Beth was able to see Sophie reaching with both hands, rotating her kneck to the right, pulling herself up to stand, and crawling. She said that she usually schedules a follow-up once the neck is fixed, but the infant can't stand yet, but b/c Sophie CAN and DID in front of her, we are good to go:) The only thing we need to keep an eye on is her hip position while crawling. She tends to be a bit "wide" and in an perfect world she needs to bring her legs up under her hips when she crawls. Since she only started crawling a few weeks ago, Beth suggested giving it a bit more time and see if she self-corrects as she gets more used to crawling. So YAY! No more appts, not more co-pays, lol:) And, Sophie gave Beth the biggest smile as we were leaving:)

In other news, we have a definate "mamamamama" now. I thought I heard it a few days ago, but just once so I wasn't sure if I imagined it. Last night though, at 4 in morning, I heard it loud and clear. When I went it to get her she was standing in her crib yelling "mamamamamama." Now, how could I be upset about that?!?!?!

She's also discovered her fingers. She will spend minutes at a time just waving to herself, staring at her fingers.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

9 months

Sophie is officially 9 months old. It is so hard to believe, but true. Where is my baby??!!! Her unofficial stats...

1) red hair and blue eyes
2) size 3 diapers
3) size 4 diapers at night (yes, this is working for us!!)
4) I can still squeeze her into some 6 month clothes, but she is solidly in 9-12 months.
5) She claps with her fists:)
6) Crawling forwards and backwards
7) Pulling to stand, on me and other objects
8) Understands "no" and usually listens!
9) Loves to pick up the most minute things off the floor! And then, she just stares at them:)
10) She had her first pickle last night and it went over well.
11) Lies her head on our shoulder when she gets really sleepy
12) Loves toys that play music
13) Not interested in Baby Einstein or Jumparoo at all, mobile is a thing of the past also
14) Loves to look at her picture (although I'm not sure if she knows it's her, or just a baby?)
15) says dadadadadadada, babababababababa
16) starting on her K/hard C sounds
17) She has my nose crinkle:) Finally, I can see myself in her!
18) 4 teeth coming in on top. God help us!
19) moved into big girl car seat
20) Got her first hair cut last night!

Official stats, per her pedi visit on Wed
19.9 pounds (50-75th percentile), 27 inches long (25 percentile), 90% percentile head size. Hey, at least she's consistant:)

Dr. R said in so many words that she needs to be drinking more milk. She thinks that her frequency of eating cannot possibly be enough to get her to to the 25+ ounces she needs. I was attempting to eliminate the nighttime feeding, but not for awhile I guess. She also wants us to start feeding her 3 solid meals a day. We are really lazy with this, I admit it. We both need to work harder at it. I think at this point it's more about getting her into a routine.

I was glad for Dan to hear that table foods are fine. He didn't believe me!

Here are a few of my favorite pics from the last few weeks.

Hello, can they LOOK any more alike?

Her first Rams game

I just love this one:)

This was taken at our block party. I LOVE the expression on her face:)

What can I say, she's cute!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Because every girl needs a tutu:)

My sister is getting married in October and Sophia is in the wedding. From the start of planning, I've said that I want Sophie to wear a tutu. I started searching on Etsy and would have purchased on there, but then I realized how easy it is to do it yourself. Here is a pic of my first attempt.
The one thing I would do different is make the tulle pieces longer. It's a bit short, but then she doesn't really stand so that's not a big deal. I think I am going to add to this one, but adding more (longer) strips and intersperse them with the shorter ones.
The real question is what will she wear on top? Most of the tutus sold on Etsy are just the tutu and a head band. I thought about a leotard, but can't find any that snap for easy diaper changes. I wanted something a bit more dressy than a onsie, though. Still searching if anyone has any ideas!!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Placental Encapsulation

It never fails to amaze me the things that people are comfortable sharing with strangers. Ok, well maybe that's an odd statement for me to make, since I've talked openly on here about the goings on of my girly parts time and again. However...we were at a neighborhood block party on Saturday night. This woman looked at me and said of Sophie "oh, are those breastfed legs?" I said yes, to which I got a thumbs up.

Apparently, she took this as a sign to open her mouth and let it all come out. She asked how long I was planning to breastfeed, and I said to 12 months. Her response was "oh, you should let her go as long as she wants." I saw where the conversation was heading and knew I had to nip it in the bud, fast. So I was honest. "We had Sophie through IVF. We have 2 frozen embryos. We want to use them asap. I can't take the IVF meds while bfing." Thankfully, that shut her up.

blah, blah, blah...lots more useless info that I didn't care about...then she started talking about placental encapsulation. I made the mistake of telling her I'd never heard of that. She gave me the full scoop. Basically, she sent her placenta from her 2nd child home with a friend who dehydrated it. She would have done it at her house but the smell was too much. The dehydrated placenta was then crushed and put into capsules...which she then took to prevent PPD. And, since her daughter was such a large baby at birth, her placenta was HUGE.

That, my friends, was wayyyyyyyy T.M.I.


I started feeling bad after I posted this yesterday. I generally am very open to different ideas, and I really started feeling like a closed-minded biotch for sounding so negative about this process. I was not trying to knock the benefits of this technique. I was more or less just dumbfounded that someone would share that with a stranger that had not asked about it. And the descriptives about the smell and the size...it was just too much for me. Then, I got the following comment from Laura. Hopefully she won't mind if I post it here...hopefully it will encourage anyone who might be interested (or just curious) to look into this further. Thanks, Laura:)

Actually, placenta pills are an amazing medicine for postpartum recovery. There is no taste and you just swallow it as you would any other vitamin or herb capsule. The placenta is an endocrine organ which regulates hormones throughout pregnancy. When you give birth your hormone levels plummet (if you've ever suffered PMS you know the havoc fluctuating hormone levels can wreak. If you've had any form of PPD/Blues then you'll know how that interferes with your best mothering). Lucky for us, our bodies tailor a medicine to bring those hormone levels back up until the hypothalamus "realizes" it has to get back to work--two weeks later! It also supplies iron and we don't even know what other goodness is in there! For nursing mothers, milk often comes in strong within hours of taking the first dose. Energy levels are boosted and lochia (postpartum blood) often ends sooner. If that doesn't sound like a great advantage to being able to bond with and care for your new baby....... I am one of many Placenta Encapsulation Specialists trained by PlacentaBenefits(.info) to provide this service to new mothers. I urge anyone to get educated on the subject of placentophagy--it may seem weird to you but that's because it's not very common right now. Hey, you can't honestly say it's any worse than sinking your teeth into the flesh of an animal you've never met! At least you know where your placenta came from ; )

Sunday, August 29, 2010

A good (??) Friday

Three important things happened yesterday.

1) Sophie's PT appointment went really well!!! At her last visit her tilt was measuring 2-3 degrees, and yesterday it measured 1-2 degrees! I expected a good report, but hearing it from PT really made my day:) As usual, we are to continue with the stretches we've been doing, and the new excercise she gave us is to help her in her "pull to stand." Thankfully, the only hard part is getting her IN to the position. Once there, it's fine and she doesn't resist. We DO have to watch that she is doing her transition to lying down and to sitting up the right way. I've been instructed to correct her if she tries to sit by scooting into it.

Also, I asked her about Sophie's amazing flexibility. As I thought, it is a product of wearing the harness for so long. Basically, she is most comfortable with her hips spread far apart. It's not "natural" for her to sit with her legs close together. We're supposed to correct it anytime we see it by just moving her legs closer together. If that doesn't work, there are shorts called "hip helpers" that should help to correct this (or at least encourage her to sit the way she needs to sit). PT said that uncorrected, this can lead to MORE hip problems in the future. Ugh.

On the upside, Sophia's look to the right is perfect, she's transferring objects from one hand to the other really well, and she's using her right hand alot more.

2) Sophie is trying to STAND on her own!!! Holy crap! We looked down on Friday night and there she was...I took a video, but of course it is taking HOURS to upload so here is a still shot.

3) This new development is where the ?? in my title came from. My period started. yuck.blah. ick. I figured out that I haven't had one in over 18 months. I must say, it was nice while it lasted. Trying to look at this positively, now I can start monitoring my cycles and see how on (or off) track they actually are, post pregnancy.

More later today about a convo I had last night with a woman who had NO boundaries....

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

time for updates

I am such a slacker. Or I've just been so busy. I don't know, but I obviously haven't been blogging. So, here are the updates for the last few weeks (which have FLOWN by, btw).
Peeing at night
I took Sarah's advice and bought Luv's. While I DO like the diapers, they are NOT containing the night time peeing. And, since I didn't tell Dan about the money back guarentee, he threw the package away so I don't have the UPC code. It was better for about a week, and now we're back to the peeing lol. It's not like I'm expecting miracles. If one leaks after an entire night of sleep, I'm not frustrated by that. But at times, she is peeing through them 1.5-4 hours later. For a diaper (like Pampers) that is supposed to provide protection for 12 hours, it's frustrating. And the sheet protectors don't help much since she's such a wiggle worm. I generally use 2 at a time, to cover more of the crib, but inevitably, she'll pee where there ISN'T a sheet saver!

Her last PT appt was 3 weeks ago. At that time, her tilt was measuring 2-3 (it started at 5 degrees) so progress is being made. At the last appt, PT showed us a new excercise to help with her sitting from a lying position and then lying from a sitting position. I've been working on that with her and she's now doing it on her own! I REALLY think she's shown ALOT of improvement with the tilt since the last appt. Usually, I'm always a bit anxious for PT b/c I'm afraid she won't have made any improvement. Her next appt is this Friday though, and I'm excited to see if the degree of tilt is any better. I think it is:)

For several weeks, she could only crawl backwards. Over the last several days though, she's started to take off forwards. She is fast, too! I'll look at her and then look back 30 seconds later and she is in a completely different spot! We've started child-proofing the electrical outlets. This weekend, I think it's time to lower the crib mattress as well. She's starting to pull up on the sides.

She loves to stand, and can do so for several seconds without any help from us, except that our hands are there "just in case."

It's getting so shaggy! I think we are going to cave and cut it, at least the bangs.

She still prefers purees to anything else. It's our fault I think. We haven't been great at increasing the Stage of food. She still mostly gets breast milk. I'm going to try a banana and a peach in the next few days. The actually food, not the puree. She needs to work on feeding herself. She'll eat a puff, but it's obviously not her favorite. I figure she might do better with something that has more flavor. She's feeding herself 1 bottle a day!

She had a diaper rash of some sort that was causing little blisters that would pop really easily. Not your typical red rash. She went to pedi b/c they were afraid it might be strep, but thankfully not. However, pedi didn't really know what it was either. She gave us a script for some ointment which took care of it almost immediately, so it was bacterial I guess. She was never in pain from it, thankfully.

I think that about covers it. I'll post pics tomorrow. She's still the sweetest little thing ever, and I still consider myself the luckiest girl in the world to have her. I think it's time for a sibling:)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

recent purchases

I usually gloat to people about how we really haven't bought anything for Sophie yet (aside from the essentials). Most of what she uses (toys, clothes, etc) are either gifts or hand-me-downs (love those!)

Well...I recently started subscribing to babysteals.com. They send an e-mail each day of one item that is significantly reduced in cost. I caved, and got this high chair cover. Let me say that I NEVER expected to be the mom that uses one of these. I never really saw the point. I just felt like we could brush crumbs off, give it a little wipe-down and we'd be good to go. About 3 weeks ago though, Sophie changed my mind. We were out to lunch, I put her in a high chair, turned around and the next thing I knew she was sucking on the seat belt of the high chair. YUCK YUCK YUCK. So, I started searching for one that I liked, that I didn't feel looked too bulky or obnoxious. Wouldn't you know, this one popped up on babysteals.com.
http://www.amazon.com/Babe-Ease-Clean-Diner-Highchair/dp/B002UD6BH6 With shipping, it was only $20:) I've only used it once but so far so good. I did feel a little weird putting it on at the restaurant. I assume people thought I was neurotic but oh well. The cover even has little loops to hang toys on.

Then, I decided Sophie needed a taggie toy. I really wanted to make her a taggie blanket but just don't have the time. So, I found this on amazon.

Of course, it was only $18...so to get free shipping I had to spend another 6 dollars. So, I added on a baby cell phone, because Sophia has taken a liking to our cell phones. It isn't listed on Amazon anymore so I don't have the link. Wouldn't you know...that brought the total to 24.65, and I needed to spend $25 total for the free shipping.

I thought and thought of what I could get that I could rationalize that she "needs." I couldn't come up with anything, except this...http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Sesame-Street-Sounds-Remote/dp/B000LT1D56/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1281562553&sr=8-1. It is BY FAR her favorite toy now. They eyes blink and each button has a sound. It's very cute, and not annoying:)

Turns out, what I thought she would like best (the taggie toy) is her least favorite. And wouldn't you know it, the tag she likes best on it is the actual TAG (oh and also the little hair sprouts on the elephants head:)

Friday, August 6, 2010

I'm so bad. I had started drafting this last week and didn't get time to finish...so here are the abbreviated 8 month stats:)

Sophia is officially 8 months old, as of Thursday! Her unofficial stats...
1) red hair and blue eyes ( I keep saying this b/c one is sure to change colors at some point??!!)
2) Her hair is getting a bit shaggy and I'd love to give her a little trim, but I won't.
2) size 3 diapers
3) 6,9, 12 month clothes
4) she is starting to wave, although her arm movements are just wide arm strokes through the air:) She also waves in her sleep.
5) She loves the "wee,wee, wee" part of "This little piggy went to market".
6) She's been drooling for about a week, so I assume a 3rd tooth is on the horizon, although I can't feel or see anything.
7) Separation anxiety has kicked in, at least separation from me. Dan finds it curious that she has starting sitting in the hallway outside of the bathroom while I get ready in the morning. I told him it's the only way to keep her from crying!
8) She's a very distractable eater while breastfeeding. If she hears ANYTHING, she is up and looking around. It's a bit frustrating, but cute all at the same time. TMI, but she also likes to play with the bow on my bra while feeding. Again, cute.
9) Her new favorite toy is her Sesame Street remote control (more about that in a later post).
10) As Dan says, she "moonwalks" backwards. She can't go forward, so always ends up backed into a wall.
11) She can spin on her belly to get to the direction she needs.
12) She still prefers Stage 1 foods. So far, of the Stage 2 foods, she prefers the ham.
13) She ate her first Puff last night. I've been trying for awhile, but last night she finally figured it out.
14) We try the sippy cup daily, but she chews on it more than anything.
15) SHe's definately getting longer. I tried to measure her last night and I'm thinking she's about 27 inches, which is 2 inches longer than at her 6 month appt.
16) She pays no attention when I read to her, but she definately likes to play with the pages.
17) Boxes are just as fun as the toys that came in them:)
8 months!!

This is what happened when I tried to measure her with my sewing ruler:) BTW, that ruler is 24 inches

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Impulse items

Our inpulse items at the grocery check-out have changed. Instead of gum and magazines, yesterday we bought a ball. For 1.69 we made Sophia the happiest girl in the world:)
And what is up with the "almost" splits. Do we have a future gymast on our hands:)?
Re: peeing while sleeping. It's happened for the past 3 nights in a row. Actually last night, she peed straight through in 1:40 minutes! Thanks for all the tips. I'm not sure that going up a size diaper will work. SHe's in size 3 now, on the low end of the weight. Size 4 just seems WAY to big, doesn't it?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Things are going well, I think. I was so happy that Sophie's been sleeping so well, only to be told by Dan that "she was up 3 times last night." Apparently, I'm sleeping through her short periods of whines/cries. He said at most, she whimpers for about 5 minutes, and then it's right back to sleep, but I still feel bad. However, I feel GOOD that I'm getting decent, solid sleep.

The new development is that she ends up sleeping on her tummy now. No big deal, and no worries on my part. The issue is that she has been peeing through her diaper (and sleeper, and sheet) for the past several nights. We're using the 12 hour Pampers, so I'm not sure what else I can use. This has just become a problem since she's been tummy sleeping. I used a sheet protector 2 nights ago, but she is so active now that she peed not only on the sheet protector, but also the sheet.

Looks like we'll be doing even MORE laundry...
I also need to figure out how to lower her crib mattress. The directions are not clear, and she's starting to grab on to the rail and want to pull up, like this...
I'm afraid it's only a matter of time.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Splish Splash

I figured out why Sophia suddenly didn't like bath time. Since we moved her to the regular bathtub for baths, I've been using the incline seat so she can lie down. She's really been fighting to stay sitting up, so I let her. Viola. Issue fixed. She is back to loving it, and loves playing with her duckie and other bath toys. The new problem now is that her little bum slides all over the place, and it's a bit of a work-out for me to make sure she keeps her head above water! So far, she hasn't thought twice about face-planting in the water, if it means she can get her toys that are constantly floating away. Looks like I need to invest in a slide-proof tub liner.

One of my fave pics. Dan won't let me put it on Facebook:(

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

7 months!!!

Yesterday, Sophia turned 7 months. Time is flying! Her "unofficial" stats.
1) about 18 pounds.
2) Still about 25 inches long (basically no vertical growth since last pedi visit!)
3) We've moved up to Size 3 diapers
4) She can still fit in some 3-6 month sleepers/onsies. However, she must get her hips from me b/c she cannot fit in a pair of shorts unless they are at least 12 months in size!
5) She has started trying to imitate what we do with our lips. VERY CUTE:)
6) SHe's using her right hand more, thanks to our excercises.
7) Can roll back to belly, belly to back, either side.
8) Sits up easily for about 30 minutes. Only falls over every once in a while.
9) She is still refusing a bottle.
10) She doesn't quite get what to do with a sippy cup yet (we tried again this weekend).
11) She has NOT been into getting a bath lately.
12) She now fusses when we take a toy away from her.
13) She's started moving on her belly to change positions. I'm not sure what to call it, not scooting, but sort of gliding into a new position.
14) She knows Sierra now, and "talks" to her.
15) Her new song this month is The Wheels on the Bus but she ADORES the Itsy Bitsy Spider.
16) She tried applesauce a few days ago. Winner!
17) She can bear weight on her legs for about 30 seconds, as long as we are holding on to her.
18) She is officially in her crib and doing well!!!!!!!!!!!!!
19) Her new "toy" is her pack and play. We moved it out of the bedroom, took off the bassinet and she sits and plays in there:)
20) She is holding strong at 2 teeth.
Our bedroom looks completely different without the pack and play! Unfortunately, we just moved it to the living room where it continues to take up a ton of space, but at least we have a new place to put her, safe from Sierra's paws (and fur). Crib transition is going well. She typically wakes once and needs a pacifier and then at about 6 am to eat and then will sleep for a few more hours. I feel *sort of* bad b/c I'm sure I'm missing some of her cries (that I didn't miss when she was sleeping right next to me), but it sure makes for a more solid night of sleep for me:)

Some pics from the weekend...
She started on the sheet...
As good as I could get for her 7 month picture:) And that sleeper is my new fave!
First time in the bottom of the pack and play. Go figure that of all those fun toys, she'd go for the tag.
This cracks me up. Wubbanub in the mouth and links in both hands. In her left hand the links are connected to an elephant. She doesn't seem to mind:)

Friday, July 2, 2010

bottle strike!

It's officially a bottle strike. Yesterday, I got home from work and Sophie hadn't eaten since 8:30 (it was almost 5). Dan was frustrated, and had been trying to feed her to no avail. I thought I would have the magic mommy touch and she'd eat for me no problem. Not quite. She pushed the bottle out with her tongue, spit, gagged, everything imaginable to keep me from feeding her. Unfortunately, I had pumped right before I left work, which is what I always do b/c she typically eats her bottle about 3 pm. So, I tried to nurse her, with no luck. Although she jumped at the chance to nurse, she got fussy b/c there was no milk. This same thing happened several days ago, except that I was able to nurse right after she refused the bottle and all was well.

I googled a bit and one of the thoughts was that it might be teething. I suppose that could be true. But it just seems like the pattern with bottle usage has been going, going, gone. The new plan is for Dan to give Sophie 2 solids during the day, and then I'll take over all nursing duties. He is completely fine with this plan, since bottle feeding does not mesh well with his impatient personality.

We attempted the sippy cup last weekend, but she's not quite getting it yet. She grabbed with both hands, stuck it in her mouth and turned it up, but that was it. I'll try again next weekend. Hopefully she'll pick it up soon, so I don't feel like I'm her main source of food. I don't mind really, but it's odd to think that outside of work, I can't be away from her for more than 5 hours at a time. Quite honestly, I don't want to be away from her for that long, but the idea that I CAN'T be feels odd to me.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

a really good day!

Yesterday was a vacation day for me. For Dan's birthday back in April, I gave him Cardinal tix for June 30. I've been looking forward to it, knowing we were going to take Sophie. I got the tix off of Craigs List and they were incredible. We had access to an air-conditioned club with our own private concessions and bathrooms (including a family bathroom!). The weather was so nice that we really didn't need to take advantage of the A/C, but we did just to give Sophie a change 0f scenery. It was 80 degrees with a light breeze...can't beat that in the heart of an STL summer:)

This was her 2nd game and she was definitely more lively. I also managed to track down FredBird for her. Doesn't she look soooo excited??

Dan was taking a picture of me and Sophie when a very nice man offered to take one of the 3 of us. He ended up taking 6, b/c he couldn't get it "just right." Here's one of my favorites.

It was just a really great day. Dan and I both said it. We don't get much time to be together anymore, outside of our condo...having fun. It doesn't hurt that Sophie is such a dream baby and always acts so great when we're in public. We love spending time with her.


YAY me, I got a blog award from Rebekah, although I feel I've been lacking in the substance department. I started this blog as a therapy of sorts, to deal with the emotions of struggling to get pregnant. Lately, it seems very superficial, which is probably a direct result of the amount of time I have to devote to it (and the mental energy I have left at the end of the day). For me, I continue to post updates more as a way for me to remember the day-to-day with Sophie. I don't take her for granted, and want to do my best to record the memories (good and not so good) as I possibly can.

Thanks for the shout-out, Rebekah!!

And b/c I suck at making things "clicky"...http://to-infertility-and-beyond.blogspot.com/

The Rules:

•Thank the blogger who awarded it to you.
•Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five (5) words
•Pass it on to 10 other blogs which you feel have real substance.

**My blog can be summed up in five words: Struggles, Miracle, Memories, Gratitude, Family**

I don't have 10 other blogs to pass on, which probably gets back to me having no time to do anything, lol. I think it also has to do with the fact that alot of blogs I followed for the longest time have drifted into oblivion, understandly so. The women who wrote daily about their IF struggles are now mommies, and just have no time. In that sense, I'm happy they don't blog anymore/rarely:) I have recently started checking out Blog Frog and have found alot of great blogs there, but aren't familiar enough with them yet. Plus, Rebekah stole one that I *would* have listed!!! So, those are my excuses for not having 10:)




Monday, June 28, 2010

Books and bows:)

Miss Sophia got all the good mail yesterday! First, she received the Winnie the Pooh series from Aunt P!! I hate to say this, but I have never read them, or had them read to me (at least that I remember), so I'm very excited to learn about Pooh along with Sophie:)

How did I not realize that the shipping form was much more interesting to her than the books!

Second, the bows I won from Rebekah's contest came yesterday! Kristen sent not only the 2 bows I asked for, but an extra big bow and a headband! (Hey, and btw, that's our new granite kitchen counter!) Here's the link to Kristen's Etsy website--highly recommend! http://www.etsy.com/shop/prettyprettybaby

It was wrapped so nicely, and came with a sweet note as well.

Here's the model...not sure what happened to the lady bug bow...it must have gotten lost in the upload so I'll add that later.

Here's the bow!

Sophie's first trip to the zoo!

We took our first trip to the zoo yesterday! It was also Sophie's first ride on the carseat "the big girl way." She wasn't really sure what to do, lol.

She was, however, more excited to chew on the new strap than to look at the animals.

I took these two before we left, when she was fresh. Good thing too, b/c Sophie can sweat. By the time we made it back to the car, her head was full of little sweat curls, cute and sad at the same time. At least I slathered her with sunblock this time, so not even a hint of a burn.

We went with an old friend of Dan's and her daughter who is 2. She gave me a fresh perspective on the whole bfing situation. Her daughter was born at 32 weeks and she was only able to bf about 3 months. For various reasons, she had to stop. She found a milk bank and supplemented with another women's breast milk until her daughter was 13 months old. Hearing her story really hit home for me, I guess. She had wanted to continue, but just couldn't. Now, I'm back on the bandwagon of NOT cutting back yet. I think that I will burn through what I have in the freezer, and take anything newly pumped to my parents house, to store in their deep freeze, so it will last longer.