Updates and plans

I meant to post last Tues night, after my appt with Dr. P...but you know how that goes. At that appt, and at today's appt with Dr. S, we started making plans. Not necessarily the plans I want, but plans none the less.
1) Per Dr. P (I'd just really like to call him the Wizard of Oz!!), I will stop the Indocin this Wednesday. We're at the point where it's more of a risk to babies than a benefit.

2) While Wed is my last day of that, it's my first day of oral Turbutaline. This one scares me a bit. So far, I've had it via IV and via sub-q injection. The latter was much more managable; the IV administration left my heart feeling like it was going to jump out of my chest. Dr. P assured me this was normal, and I should have even less side effects with pills than with the sub-q. Let's hope so. I have to check my pulse prior to taking it, and if it's 110 or higher, I have to wait 30 minutes to take it. I will start out on Wed at 3 times a day, and then starting Thursday, I'll be taking it 6 times a day, in conjuction with the Niphedine.

3) Dr. P was really thrilled that I made it to 32 weeks. Apparently this was a big hurdle to accomplish, and I did it. He mentioned some stats that neurologically, at 1, 3, 5 years of age, a 32 weeker looks no different than a 36 weeker. I hate to say it, but once I heard that, I thought "ok, let's just get this show on the road." Thankfully, the docs won't let me be selfish.

4) As of last Tues I was measuring 40 weeks. He told me, SERIOUSLY, that he'd like to see me measure 50 weeks. FIFTY. Really? My stomach is so tight right now it's ridiculous, it seriously feels like a rock. Dr. P says it's my abdominal wall.

5) Baby A is STILL breach, although she's moved from her little ball. Now, both of their heads are in my ribs, and their feet are hanging out below belly button. The u/s tech got a shot of their little heads so close together...looked like they were conspiring already;)

6) Weights were ok last week, but this week took a huge leap. Baby A is 4 pounds 11 oz, and B is 5 pounds 4 oz. Seems impossible there is 10 pounds of baby in there, not to mention the weight of placenta, fluid, etc. No wonder I'm exhausted!!

5) The big news of the appt was that he gave the suggestion/decision that we would schedule induction or c-section for 37 weeks. He confirmed he wouldn't make me go any further:)

I saw Dr. S today who was also extremely pleased with the progress. It was the shortest appt we've had in awhile, lol! She also mentioned scheduling c-section at 37 weeks. No mention of induction. I've known there might be an "induction struggle" since the beginning. Should Baby A turn and be born vaginally, she does not want to risk any issues with Baby B. Further, she doesn't want me to have a double recovery, which I *do* get. But you better bet I'll stand my ground if Baby A does turn.

I'm really trying to come to terms with a c-section, I am, but I'm not happy. I'm not scared, or worried. It's not that. I think women that ask for an elective c-section are no more crazy than I am, wanting a vaginal delivery. I think maybe it's that I know this will be the last time I will be pregnant. This is it, and I wanted to experience labor again. Yes, I realize I'm a masochist, lol:) I wanted the anticipation of not being fully aware of how it will go. I don't want to be told "arrive at 9 am and we'll take you to the OR by 10 am." I don't want to know ahead of time that these babies will be born at 10:15. Plus, I have the irrational and probably unsubstantiated idea that if I have a c-section, it will be harder for the weight to come off, and more importantly, harder to breastfeed. I feel like if I don't have a vaginal delivery, my body won't know that it's time to start producing milk.

Or maybe by now I am just genuinely crazy. Who knows. All I know is if Dan mentions "we're going to have a c-section" one more time, I'm going to slap him. Hard. In the face. First of all, really? They're going to take a knife to HIS abdomen, and then pull out HIS insides to get the babies out? I think not. Secondly, ever since Dr. S put the thought in our mind that it could very well be a c-section, he has grabbed on to that idea and won't let it go. I'm so TIRED of arguing with him about it. He thinks it's because I'm scared. Again, that's not it, but he's never stopped to ask why, and quite honestly (as a man), would most likely not understand anyway. That's why I haven't wasted too much breath on it.

I'm really just glad there is an end in sight. I've wondered all along how long they would let me go, but our conversations never got that far b/c of all the difficulties I've had. It's nice to be able to say "no more than 4 weeks left," but at the same time I'd really like to go into labor on my own. With all the crazy anti-contraction meds i'll be on though, I don't know how that is even possible. Maybe my water will break??