Tuesday, November 23, 2010

being thankful

I just got news that a pregnant co-worker lost her baby at 5 months, this past weekend. It hit me really hard, and I didn't even know her very well. She was showing, and SO excited to be pregnant:(

It just puts it into perspective for me how much of a miracle it really is to get, and stay pregnant. When I heard the news, I immediately went into questioning mode. She was here and worked late on Friday. At that time, she was still happily pregnant. But, something happened this weekend. What was it? Bleeding, contractions, what? Did she have an u/s on Saturday that told the bad news? She should have been feeling movement by this time. Did she go for awhile not feeling movement, and so went to the ER to get checked out? I hate that I am obsessing over this. I went back in my mind to our 20 week appt, when we found out that Sophie was a girl. What would have happened, how would our lives be different, if she had lost her heartbeat and we had found out that day?

How long would it have taken to get over it? WOuld we have tried again? COULD I have tried again?

I realize these are ridiculous questions, and most definately not a path I should travel down mentally for very long.

My heart goes out to A, and her family.


Stacy said...

That's so sad. We should definitely feel very thankful for the great gift we have.

Fran said...

Oh my God...the worst ever news...maybe her water broke, maybe she suffered an incompetent cervix...I still fear every day things can change dramatically. Try to stay positive of course as you can't do anything about tragedies. Love, Fran

Lucy said...

I'm with you--I think about that, and I just don't know how people move on from that. I can't imagine having another pregnancy and not being terrified of having the same thing happen again. Loss at any time is horrible, but somehow, I imagine it gets worse the further along you are.