OK. I had b/w drawn this morning, for the first time since starting stims (Friday). It went from <20 last Wed, to 40 today. With IVF #1, it went from 28 to 48 in the same amount of time. They are keeping me at 10 Lupron, but increasing Follistim from 150 to 225 for tonight and tomorrow. With IVF #1 they kept me at 150 for the whole time. I go back on Thursday for more b/w.
It's hard to not be paranoid about why they are increasing me this time, but they didn't last time. Different is good, right? I am just so in need of control, and I'm officially out of control. Dr. K is telling my body what to do. I have faith in her, it's just so hard to give up that control.
I'm really trying hard to stay stress free. We still have Sally, b/c the lady that may want her has been sick. But, really things are better. She is still growling at Dan at night, but we've figured out that it's noises that set her off, not him necessarily (although when I make the same noises they don't bother her). We've also figured out her growls are very defensive, meant to intimidate, not hurt.
And. I have some MAJOR family drama going on. I'm trying hard to stay on the outskirts of it, b/c really it is not about me. But I called Dan a few minutes ago freaking out and he reminded me that I cannot get involved, that I have more important things going on right now. So true. I needed to hear it. My anxiety level is going up just thinking about it.
Plus, my Angie bracelet broke a little bit ago. I got paranoid that it was a bad omen that it broke. I'm just losing my mind I guess. It is just a bracelet, right???