Friday, February 27, 2009

"Why can't we just have one kid?"

This is the question I get from Dan last night. The odd thing was, we weren't talking about babies, kids, IF, IVF, nothing. We were watching Amer.ican Id.ol, and this question comes out of the blue. I asked what made him ask that question. He said he just doesn't understand why all his friends have kids, and we just want one and can't. It's statements like this that make me realize that big manly man Dan wants this as much as I do, and is struggling right along with me. It upset me to hear him say it, like I felt like I am letting him down. But at the same time, it's nice to know we're in this together. I mean, physically, of course we're in it together, but emotionally...it's a little harder to see how it affects him.

Stims start tonight! I'm trying to plan little fun things for myself over the next week, something to get me through each day. Once stims start, it's really all downhill and my psychic prediction of March 12 for an ER date is growing closer.

I'm finding myself getting a little optimistic, too optimistic in my opinion. For example, I actually made up the image in my head last night of the nurse calling me with a positive pregnancy test. What would I do? What would I say? Would I cry? Would I be speechless? I guess I'd rather plan bad situations in my head so that I can prepare for the worst. Lord, that will be a horrible day if it's negative.

I've been wearing my Angie bracelet. I've been carrying around Fertility Person. Today, my new supervisor gave me a little set of fertility candles. Very sweet thought. It caught me off guard a bit. But it's so nice to have a new person on my side, rooting for me.

In very exciting news, someone may be interested in adopting Sally!!! We're supposed to meet her on Sunday, and if her current dog gets along with Sally then she will take her. This would be a huge load off of us. Neither of us wants to take her back to the shelter, but we also can't keep her.


Lisa said...

It's hard when we see them show their fragile side, isn't it?

We did the home inspection on the house we're buying yesterday and got a closer look at the pics of the two beautiful little 7 and 9 year old girls who currently live there. Glenn turned to me and said "do you think the kids come with the house?" Broke my heart....

stacey said...

Oh, Lisa...that is just painful:-(

Amanda said...

I am sorry that anyone has to go through IF. It is so tough to deal with. I want to say it just isn't fair. It really isn't. I don't know what I would do if the dr. called and said I had a positive blood test. I think the excitement would be outweighed by paranoia.

I hope this cycle brings you what you are trying so hard to get...just one kid. Keep your head up. It will happen and I am praying for you that it does.

Sorry about having to get rid of your doggy, that is never easy.