Pediatric ICU

It's currently 4:50 am on Sunday morning. Where to start this story???

Sophie woke up with a runny nose on Friday. No big deal, just a clear, runny, snotty nose. I didn't think much about it, except that I assumed a cold was on it's way. For me, Friday was horrible. Lots of crap happening at work, the pregnancy insomnia continued, so I was really way more excited than I should have been for the Tylenol PM I was planning on taking before bed. As Sophie got closer to bed time, she developed a pretty nasty cough. Something told me it was going to be a long night so I opted not to take the meds. Good decision.

She and I both fell asleep about 8:30, and I woke up at midnight to her labored breathing. She sounded congested. I wrote it off as that. She was never able to go back to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Therefore, I didn't sleep. I stayed in bed with her until about 3 am, just trying to soothe her, and then at 3 I got us both up and tried to rock her in her rocking chair. It seemsed to help a bit. At 5, we went back to our bed because I was simply exhausted since I'd been up since midnight.

I must have falled asleep b/c Dan woke me up at 6:45 totally freaked out b/c she was breathing so hard. I informed him (not so nicely) that this is how she'd been all night. We decided to pull out the breathing machine that we'd gotten at the pedi office about 5 weeks ago when I took her in for a wheezing episode.

We gave her a treatment (Albuterol) at 7 and then again at 9, and although it helped it wasn't helping enough. She was really struggling.

Dan made the decision to go to the ER. I planned to go if things didn't get better but he made me go earlier rather than later. I remember being SO mad at him b/c I just wanted to take a nap. Getting in the car I opened the corner of the door into my forehead. I remember saying "God, please let this day be over quickly." Little did I know. It was only 10:50 am.

We got to the ER where, long story short, they did another treatment and determined she needed to be admitted for observation. Again, the treatment helped, but not enough. We waited a few hours for a room. Through the ER visit, Sophie was a trooper. She was too tired to really struggle with anything. The official diagnosis was bronchiolotis. Her fast tests came back negative for flu and RSV. An x-ray later in the day showed no pneumonia.

Once in the room, the nurses came in and introduced themselves and made friends with Sophie. After they left, she rolled over on the bed and just lay there. Her face was so calm or tired or something I don't know, but from her neck to her diaper she looked like a fish out of water. We honestly didnt think anything about it. We felt like we were in a good place and she'd get the care she needed.

Soon, two docs came in and one looked at Sophie and immediately looked at the other doc and said why is she here? She questioned us as to whether she looked like that in the ER. Basically, yes, just now she was in diaper only so her breathing was more obvious.

The doc called for a stat PICU referral. She looked at us and said "her lungs are working overtime and I'm afraid her heart won't be able to keep up." While I was still trying to process that, we were surrounded by 12 PICU docs in our room. I looked at Dan and he started crying. I looked away. I could NOT go there. SO there I was, sitting on the bed holding Sophie, surrounded by docs that all looked to be on a mission, very serious (duh). In addition to their coats they all had to wear the yellow drape thing and gloves (since we didn't truly know what was wrong). Needless to say, they were a daunting sight. The plan was to do another breathing treatment and see how things looked after that. I was the obvious choice to administer the treatment, since I was already holding her. So I did, in front of a team of PICU docs. It was very surreal lol. I was holding her in one arm, holding the mask to her face in the other, constantly kissing her forehead calling her "my sweet pea", and rocking her to try to ease her struggle. But, she didn't struggle. She just took it, without a fight. She was just exhausted.

The head PICU doc told us that she needed to be moved to the PICU for at least a day. He thought she may need a continuous albuterol treatment, which was something she could NOT get on a general medical floor. It also meant that she'd need an IV, and not be able to eat/drink.

We've been here since about 5 pm Sat night. We started with the continuous treatment but her little heart was just racing. It was staying steady at about 205-210, but then there came a point where it was 220-225. I knew it was high. THe nurses and the doc kept looking in our room at the monitor. I was ready to freak OUT wondering WTF was taking them so long to do something. I think I said to Dan "why are they just standing there."

They made the decision to cut the treatments to every two hours. Things are finally looking up. Her breathing is still labored, but her lungs sound much better.

My poor sad little baby girl has been put through the ringer. She's got all the wires strapped to her. She actually woke up after the 1 am treatment and was smiling:)

She's still naked, except for her diaper, currently sleeping wrapped in the blanket that a volunteer brought by. More later, but I'm hopeful to make it out of PICU today.