Sunday, January 23, 2011

so many thoughts...

I forgot what an emotional rollercoaster this is. Friday night was spent stressing/over-thinking just about everything.
After the transfer I asked the nurse to use a marker to mark where we should be aiming the PIO needle. Dan had been hitting the correct general area, but not inside the circles that the nurse drew. So, I freaked, thinking my body doesn't have enough P4 to support the embies. So what did I do? I upped the PIO from 1 cc to 1.5 cc's for the past three nights.

Then, I read in my "instructions" yesterday not to take any baths, or get in any hot tubs or saunas until the pregancy test. I read this as I was using the laptop in bed. I immediately thought that it must be b/c my body temp shouldn't get too hot...so of course I assumed I fried my embies with the laptop on my stomach.

I woke up yesterday morning not even remembering the transfer. Once I did, it felt like it was all a dream, like it had never happened. My uterus felt empty:( As it should, I guess. I of course started thinking that it was my minds way of telling me that it didn't work. Ugh.

Today was better. I still took it easy with Sophie, not lifting her if I could help it. Tomorrow, I'll return to normal. After all, women get pregnant all the time while having toddlers, kids, vaccuuming, etc.

I did the unthinkable a few minutes ago though. I scoured my bathroom cabinets for pregnancy tests. I couldn't find ONE. I must have trashed them months ago, b/c they would have been expired by now anyway.

Geez, I hate this.

I've mentioned before that Sophie is quite the sweater. This picture was taken today, after her nap (when she tends to sweat ALOT). Look at all the sweat curls, lol:)

1 comment:

Jen said...

So sorry you are going through all the second guessing and feeling anxious. Hang in there lady. I'm here rooting for you and those little embies! Sophia is adorable... what beautiful curls!

If you get a minute, could you shoot me an email jcoffman@socket.net. I'd like to ask you a few ? about the FET process if you don't mind. ;)