OK, so Dr. K's office called to let me know that I can't come in until THURSDAY for my beta. UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The weather apparently is going to be ridiculously bad, lots of ice followed by lots of snow. Businesses are planning on being closed tomorrow, and possibly for days after.
When S called to move my beta to Thursday I said "you people are killing me! You're going to force me to go out and buy more EPTs." She just laughed and said go for it. So, I guess the word is out around the office that I got a +:)
Monday, January 31, 2011
beta moved up a day:)
Thanks to the lovely weather that we are expecting, it was quite easy to get my beta moved from Wed, to tomorrow!!!
I can't get in to see my PCP until Friday, but I did talk to Dr. K's nurse about the rash. She said it's fine to keep up with the Benedryl and hydrocortizone until I see the doctor. It seems to be a bit better, itch-wise. Hoping that it will be gone soon though. I know my ankles are swollen b/c my shoes feel tight on my feet.
In Sophie news...she is officially walking! She still prefers to crawl, and does an adorable knee walk, but she is most definately walking. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen...I see where the term toddler comes from:)
I can't get in to see my PCP until Friday, but I did talk to Dr. K's nurse about the rash. She said it's fine to keep up with the Benedryl and hydrocortizone until I see the doctor. It seems to be a bit better, itch-wise. Hoping that it will be gone soon though. I know my ankles are swollen b/c my shoes feel tight on my feet.
In Sophie news...she is officially walking! She still prefers to crawl, and does an adorable knee walk, but she is most definately walking. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen...I see where the term toddler comes from:)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I should never have joked about...
scratching an itch...because now I have a rash. I noticed this weird feeling on my ankles Friday morning, but didn't really think anything about it. By Friday night, it looked like this...
Oh, and my ankles are swollen. Sorry about the hairy legs. There's no way I'm shaving!!
I don't think it can be a reaction to any of my meds, because 1) I've been taking them for weeks, and 2) I've taken them so many times before this cycle. I broke down and got some hydrocortizone and calamine lotion this morning. The itch is ridiculously miserable:( I'll call my PCP in the morning to see if I can get in, and also call Dr. K to confirm that it shouldn't be the meds.
Also, we are expecting a winter storm of epic proportions. Inches of ice followed by up to a foot of snow, starting tomorrow and continuing through Wed afternoon. Reminder: beta is Wed morning. So, in addition to talking to Dr. K's nurse about the rash, I'm hoping to get the beta moved up in the event that the weather is nasty on Wed.
We just got a call from our realtor that someone wants to see our condo in the morning! Luckily, I spent some time cleaning this weekend, so it didn't take much to get it in showing shape. We'll give it another vaccuum in the AM, and then Sophie, Dan and Sierra are going to work with me. The showing is scheduled from 9-10 am.
And the BEST news is that I decided to pee on another $5 this morning and it was still positive, and darker:)
I've had major insomnia the past two nights, and finally took a benadryl last night to curb my itching ankles and help me fall asleep. I don't have much of an apetite either, and the queasiness has been setting in about 6 pm each night. I'm not complaining (YET!), it's so reassuring.
Oh, and my ankles are swollen. Sorry about the hairy legs. There's no way I'm shaving!!
I don't think it can be a reaction to any of my meds, because 1) I've been taking them for weeks, and 2) I've taken them so many times before this cycle. I broke down and got some hydrocortizone and calamine lotion this morning. The itch is ridiculously miserable:( I'll call my PCP in the morning to see if I can get in, and also call Dr. K to confirm that it shouldn't be the meds.
Also, we are expecting a winter storm of epic proportions. Inches of ice followed by up to a foot of snow, starting tomorrow and continuing through Wed afternoon. Reminder: beta is Wed morning. So, in addition to talking to Dr. K's nurse about the rash, I'm hoping to get the beta moved up in the event that the weather is nasty on Wed.
We just got a call from our realtor that someone wants to see our condo in the morning! Luckily, I spent some time cleaning this weekend, so it didn't take much to get it in showing shape. We'll give it another vaccuum in the AM, and then Sophie, Dan and Sierra are going to work with me. The showing is scheduled from 9-10 am.
And the BEST news is that I decided to pee on another $5 this morning and it was still positive, and darker:)
I've had major insomnia the past two nights, and finally took a benadryl last night to curb my itching ankles and help me fall asleep. I don't have much of an apetite either, and the queasiness has been setting in about 6 pm each night. I'm not complaining (YET!), it's so reassuring.
Friday, January 28, 2011
I scratched the itch.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
That said, I'm not entirely surprised, I haven't been feeling quite right. However, that didn't ease the unnervingness of this testing process. I woke up at 6 am and realized that I had decided to test today. My heart started racing. At 6:04 I got out of bed with the mantra in my head "if it's negative, it might just be too early." I peed. I put the stick down, hoping to brush my teeth, put in my contacts etc, during the 2 minutes it's supposed to take the test to offer up the results. But I kept cheating, and checking the stick. And I saw the +, and my hands started shaking. It's really hard to put in your contacts when you can't keep your hands still!!!
At first, it was only the one line and I got discouraged, but through each of my peeks, the second line kept forming.
Holy shit.
I keep saying "this was just too easy." I mean, it took us eight embryos to make Sophia. I would expect us it to take 8 more to make her sibling. But we transferred three. THREE. Freaking a bit now at that decision.
I know there's a LONGGGGG road ahead. I've had a miscarriage before. But, for today, I am pregnant:)
There have been too many little devils on my shoulder telling me to test. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I will protect the anonymity of someone who might read this blog. Hope to be able to tell the whole story in a few weeks. It's crazy what a small, SMALL world this is:)
Dan was still sleeping when I took the test. He and Sophie woke up about the same time. I changed her, grabbed the stick and headed for the bedroom. I shoved it in his face. Romantic, huh? He jumped back like it was a spider or something.
"What's that?"
"It's a test. A positive test."
"Huh? It's early. Explain"
"It's a positive pregnancy test."
"Could it be a false positive?"
"No. I didn't take any meds that might give a false positive."
"Oh." "wow." "it's early." "SOphie, are you ready to be a big sister? Oh, poor Sierra." "Please let it be a girl."
A few minutes later he apologized for not being more excited, but I think I shocked the shit out of him, lol. He had no idea I was testing.
So, beta is Feb 2. NOthing I can do until then but wait.
I'm pregnant! Again!
Oh, and PLEASE. No word of this on Facebook. I'm not sure yet if I'll tell my mom, or wait until beta. She's a worry-wart. Dan said he'll tell his mom, but aside from this blog, and a few friends, we're keeping it under wraps.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
getting the itch...
to pee on something. Specifically, one of those damn tests that have now been thrown to the back of my bathroom cabinet.
6dp6dt today. No spotting, no boob issues, not really crampy enough to call it crampy, a bit queasy but that could be b/c this is so nerve-wracking. Last night, I almost gagged changing Sophie's poopy diaper. I have never come CLOSE to gagging during a diaper change before, but last night it got to me. Also, yesterday I walked into our suite of offices and immediately yelled "someone's eating french fries." It's no secret around the office that I adore fries. I immediately started looking for the culprit. Turned out it wasn't fries, but WAS potatoes. A co-worker said "wow, I didn't smell those at all!" Is that something? Anything? Wishful thinking?
The FET ended up costing $500 less than I expected, so I'm rationalizing my desire to POAS as "now we can afford to buy more if these are negative."
But, in reality the devastation of a BFN, even though technically it might be too early is alot to deal with. I somewhat enjoy living in the land of the blissful unknown.
6dp6dt today. No spotting, no boob issues, not really crampy enough to call it crampy, a bit queasy but that could be b/c this is so nerve-wracking. Last night, I almost gagged changing Sophie's poopy diaper. I have never come CLOSE to gagging during a diaper change before, but last night it got to me. Also, yesterday I walked into our suite of offices and immediately yelled "someone's eating french fries." It's no secret around the office that I adore fries. I immediately started looking for the culprit. Turned out it wasn't fries, but WAS potatoes. A co-worker said "wow, I didn't smell those at all!" Is that something? Anything? Wishful thinking?
The FET ended up costing $500 less than I expected, so I'm rationalizing my desire to POAS as "now we can afford to buy more if these are negative."
But, in reality the devastation of a BFN, even though technically it might be too early is alot to deal with. I somewhat enjoy living in the land of the blissful unknown.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
my treat
Dan called yesterday about 4:30 asking me to run by Wal.greens on my way home to pick up a few scripts for him. He had a hellacious dental appt earlier in the day, and the dentist had called in Vicadin and penicillin for him. Did I WANT to go to Wal.greens in rush hour traffic? No. Did I WANT to stand in the pharmacy line at 5 pm? No. But I did, b/c I'm nice:) So, on the way there I'm mentally going through the store trying to think if there's anything else I/we need while I'm there. I came up with eyeshadow and deodorant.
In my head, I continue down the aisles, and OH. Wait! I can get a pregnancy test!!! No, that's silly. Waste of money. BUT, the FET ended up costing a bit less than expected, so why not? No, it's dumb. If I have them, I will use them, and it's too early. But I'll be there, so why not. I can always return them if I don't use them (yeah, right).
In the end, I bought a box of 2 F.act Pl.us tests. When I left this morning they were sitting on the kitchen counter. Better in the kitchen than in the bathroom, where I might actually pee on one of them. But, they are in the condo.
When I gave Dan the bag from Walgreens last night, he ignored the test, and just went for the Vicadin, lol. I thought he was ignoring it, but he did seem to be in quite a bit of pain. This morning, he said "what's this" when he saw the HPT box. I didn't answer b/c DUH, what do you think it is?! He said "I thought only drs tests were right." Um no, we got our first BFP at home dum-dum. I then told him it was my treat for driving to the pharmacy in rush-hour traffic:) Better than a bag of m and m's, right??
So....I'm exhausted (it's the PIO). I could barely keep my eyes open last night. Today, I'm a bit crampy. No spotting, no heartburn. I analyzed my boobs last night...they are not veiny, not sore. I had some very vivid dreams last night, some of them were um...interesting...Was it b/c I was so tired and got some serious REM sleep going, or was it b/c, until yesterday, I forgot that vivid dreams have been known to be an early symptom, and it was my mind just messing with me?
tick tock, tick tock, 7 days until beta (at least 4 days until I pee on something).
In my head, I continue down the aisles, and OH. Wait! I can get a pregnancy test!!! No, that's silly. Waste of money. BUT, the FET ended up costing a bit less than expected, so why not? No, it's dumb. If I have them, I will use them, and it's too early. But I'll be there, so why not. I can always return them if I don't use them (yeah, right).
In the end, I bought a box of 2 F.act Pl.us tests. When I left this morning they were sitting on the kitchen counter. Better in the kitchen than in the bathroom, where I might actually pee on one of them. But, they are in the condo.
When I gave Dan the bag from Walgreens last night, he ignored the test, and just went for the Vicadin, lol. I thought he was ignoring it, but he did seem to be in quite a bit of pain. This morning, he said "what's this" when he saw the HPT box. I didn't answer b/c DUH, what do you think it is?! He said "I thought only drs tests were right." Um no, we got our first BFP at home dum-dum. I then told him it was my treat for driving to the pharmacy in rush-hour traffic:) Better than a bag of m and m's, right??
So....I'm exhausted (it's the PIO). I could barely keep my eyes open last night. Today, I'm a bit crampy. No spotting, no heartburn. I analyzed my boobs last night...they are not veiny, not sore. I had some very vivid dreams last night, some of them were um...interesting...Was it b/c I was so tired and got some serious REM sleep going, or was it b/c, until yesterday, I forgot that vivid dreams have been known to be an early symptom, and it was my mind just messing with me?
tick tock, tick tock, 7 days until beta (at least 4 days until I pee on something).
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
4dp5dt
This post was supposed to have a picture of the transferred embryos, but no such luck. I can't get it to upload. You aren't missing too much, just picture 3 moon looking blobs and you get the picture:)
So, here I sit at 4dp5dt (or it is 6d)? They were frozen at 5 days, but then given a day to thaw, so who knows really.
I'm feeling pretty ambivilent today. Not optimistic, not pessimistic. No symptoms to speak of. I spent the morning reading blogs of successful FETs. Probably not a smart move, but whatever. I need something, lol:)
Still debating on to test or not. In everything I've read, successful FETs typically start off on the low side, beta-wise. Meaning that if I DID test, and the HCG was too low, it might not show up. At the earliest, I would wait until Sunday.
With FET #1, I didn't spot at all. With IVF #2 (that worked), I spotted/bled alot. Given those two experiences, I'm not sure if I WANT to see blood on the tp, or not. And yes, I've started looking. That's just what I do.
If I remember correctly, my very first symptom with the SOphie pregnancy was heartburn. I remember it b/c I NEVER get heartburn. So far, no heartburn.
Hey little embies, what are you doing down there? Anything productive?
So, here I sit at 4dp5dt (or it is 6d)? They were frozen at 5 days, but then given a day to thaw, so who knows really.
I'm feeling pretty ambivilent today. Not optimistic, not pessimistic. No symptoms to speak of. I spent the morning reading blogs of successful FETs. Probably not a smart move, but whatever. I need something, lol:)
Still debating on to test or not. In everything I've read, successful FETs typically start off on the low side, beta-wise. Meaning that if I DID test, and the HCG was too low, it might not show up. At the earliest, I would wait until Sunday.
With FET #1, I didn't spot at all. With IVF #2 (that worked), I spotted/bled alot. Given those two experiences, I'm not sure if I WANT to see blood on the tp, or not. And yes, I've started looking. That's just what I do.
If I remember correctly, my very first symptom with the SOphie pregnancy was heartburn. I remember it b/c I NEVER get heartburn. So far, no heartburn.
Hey little embies, what are you doing down there? Anything productive?
Monday, January 24, 2011
PIO is a pain in my bum...
literally and figuratively.
I am ROCKING the bruises on both hips this morning. Yikes. They h.u.r.t.
The PIO has also started those lovely "could-be" pregnancy symptoms, such as fatigue. Yesterday, Sophie, Sierra and I had a nice, long nap, lol. Before than (aside from my Valium induced nap on Friday), I cannot remember the last time I napped, and it felt GOOD:)
I'm trying to stay positive. I really am. The truth is, I think as of right now, my body knows if I'm pregnant or not. If any of those embies were going to implant, it would have happened this weekend. Sucks that I have to wait 9 more days to find out.
I'm so disappointed that they didn't look better. I'm so upset that I knew about those "great" stats with vitrification. I would have done better I think, assuming the worst, that I only had a 30% chance of this working. In my mind, I had built it up to be more like 50%, which isn't far-fetched at all considering the stats that Dr. K gave to me.
Dan started talking girl names this weekend. It's fun and all, but really? Shoule we go there? I think not. But it's so hard NOT to go there.
I told Dan on Saturday night that we WOULD be trying one last IUI if this does not work. I didn't say it that harshly, but I just laid it out there...that we have the frozen sperm...he has to do NOTHING in that cycle, except put up with a hormonal me, and that's it. THen, that really would be it. RIght?
I contemplated another fresh IVF as I was trying to fall asleep last night. I really don't think I could convince him of that. ANd why, really. We have our miracle. I don't want to be selfish.
9 days and counting...
I am ROCKING the bruises on both hips this morning. Yikes. They h.u.r.t.
The PIO has also started those lovely "could-be" pregnancy symptoms, such as fatigue. Yesterday, Sophie, Sierra and I had a nice, long nap, lol. Before than (aside from my Valium induced nap on Friday), I cannot remember the last time I napped, and it felt GOOD:)
I'm trying to stay positive. I really am. The truth is, I think as of right now, my body knows if I'm pregnant or not. If any of those embies were going to implant, it would have happened this weekend. Sucks that I have to wait 9 more days to find out.
I'm so disappointed that they didn't look better. I'm so upset that I knew about those "great" stats with vitrification. I would have done better I think, assuming the worst, that I only had a 30% chance of this working. In my mind, I had built it up to be more like 50%, which isn't far-fetched at all considering the stats that Dr. K gave to me.
Dan started talking girl names this weekend. It's fun and all, but really? Shoule we go there? I think not. But it's so hard NOT to go there.
I told Dan on Saturday night that we WOULD be trying one last IUI if this does not work. I didn't say it that harshly, but I just laid it out there...that we have the frozen sperm...he has to do NOTHING in that cycle, except put up with a hormonal me, and that's it. THen, that really would be it. RIght?
I contemplated another fresh IVF as I was trying to fall asleep last night. I really don't think I could convince him of that. ANd why, really. We have our miracle. I don't want to be selfish.
9 days and counting...
Sunday, January 23, 2011
so many thoughts...
I forgot what an emotional rollercoaster this is. Friday night was spent stressing/over-thinking just about everything.
After the transfer I asked the nurse to use a marker to mark where we should be aiming the PIO needle. Dan had been hitting the correct general area, but not inside the circles that the nurse drew. So, I freaked, thinking my body doesn't have enough P4 to support the embies. So what did I do? I upped the PIO from 1 cc to 1.5 cc's for the past three nights.
Then, I read in my "instructions" yesterday not to take any baths, or get in any hot tubs or saunas until the pregancy test. I read this as I was using the laptop in bed. I immediately thought that it must be b/c my body temp shouldn't get too hot...so of course I assumed I fried my embies with the laptop on my stomach.
I woke up yesterday morning not even remembering the transfer. Once I did, it felt like it was all a dream, like it had never happened. My uterus felt empty:( As it should, I guess. I of course started thinking that it was my minds way of telling me that it didn't work. Ugh.
Today was better. I still took it easy with Sophie, not lifting her if I could help it. Tomorrow, I'll return to normal. After all, women get pregnant all the time while having toddlers, kids, vaccuuming, etc.
I did the unthinkable a few minutes ago though. I scoured my bathroom cabinets for pregnancy tests. I couldn't find ONE. I must have trashed them months ago, b/c they would have been expired by now anyway.
Geez, I hate this.
I've mentioned before that Sophie is quite the sweater. This picture was taken today, after her nap (when she tends to sweat ALOT). Look at all the sweat curls, lol:)
After the transfer I asked the nurse to use a marker to mark where we should be aiming the PIO needle. Dan had been hitting the correct general area, but not inside the circles that the nurse drew. So, I freaked, thinking my body doesn't have enough P4 to support the embies. So what did I do? I upped the PIO from 1 cc to 1.5 cc's for the past three nights.
Then, I read in my "instructions" yesterday not to take any baths, or get in any hot tubs or saunas until the pregancy test. I read this as I was using the laptop in bed. I immediately thought that it must be b/c my body temp shouldn't get too hot...so of course I assumed I fried my embies with the laptop on my stomach.
I woke up yesterday morning not even remembering the transfer. Once I did, it felt like it was all a dream, like it had never happened. My uterus felt empty:( As it should, I guess. I of course started thinking that it was my minds way of telling me that it didn't work. Ugh.
Today was better. I still took it easy with Sophie, not lifting her if I could help it. Tomorrow, I'll return to normal. After all, women get pregnant all the time while having toddlers, kids, vaccuuming, etc.
I did the unthinkable a few minutes ago though. I scoured my bathroom cabinets for pregnancy tests. I couldn't find ONE. I must have trashed them months ago, b/c they would have been expired by now anyway.
Geez, I hate this.
I've mentioned before that Sophie is quite the sweater. This picture was taken today, after her nap (when she tends to sweat ALOT). Look at all the sweat curls, lol:)
Friday, January 21, 2011
horizontal blogging
Our FET happened at 10 am this morning. All went well, especially after 2 Valium;) Sophie woke us up at 4:40, and at about 5 am I realized that I hadn't talked to Dr K about Assisted Hatching of the embryos. I also realized that I hadn't confirmed that it would be Dr. K that actually did the transfer. Obsessive me starting calling at 8 am, in hopes of talking with the IVF nurse about AH. Turns out, they do AH with all FETs.
The embryos could have looked better. All three DID survive the thaw, but only one looked really good. THe other two were becoming necrotic, and on one Dr. K even pointed out that the part (for lack of a better term) that would/could become the placenta didn't look so great. Needless to say, I was upset. That said, I have heard SO many stories of crappy looking embies going on to make babies, while the great looking embies that you would assume would make a baby not working. So, we'll see.
The transfer itself went fabulously. Typically, it's been the transfer that has been the rough part for us, so I'm thankful that I don't have that to worry about. As they were wheeling me out of the OR, I told Dr. K that I was worried the two didn't look so great. Her response was "I'm thrilled that one looked good." She's right. We've now done all we can do. They had me lie on my back for 30 minutes and then we were off.
I WISH I didn't know about the great stats recently. They did get my hopes up. Now, my hopes are not so great. The nurses reminded me that spotting/bleeding is/can be normal, so not to stress over that. I did not spot at ALL with FET #1, but did spot (and bleed) with both fresh IVFs.
Beta is Tues Feb 4, 12 days post transfer. I confirmed that if implantation is going to happen, it will occur in the next day or so.
Prior to the transfer, Dan said "this is it." I reminded him that we still have frozen sperm and he shook his head no. I was in no position or mood to argue my point, but am willing to fight for one more IUI cycle should this not work.
We stopped by McDonald's, and then got home about 11:30. My mom was watching Sophie, so after eating I went straight to bed where I slept off the Valium. My parents just left about 3 PM, and Dan's mom came to take over Sophie duty for the next few hours. I'm on light duty, and can't lift anything over 20 pounds for the next few days, which means Sophie:( She can crawl up in my lap, but I can't actually pick her up.
I'm in bed, and our scanner is packed away. Will post a picture of my 3 little embies on Monday. Stick little ones,please...
The embryos could have looked better. All three DID survive the thaw, but only one looked really good. THe other two were becoming necrotic, and on one Dr. K even pointed out that the part (for lack of a better term) that would/could become the placenta didn't look so great. Needless to say, I was upset. That said, I have heard SO many stories of crappy looking embies going on to make babies, while the great looking embies that you would assume would make a baby not working. So, we'll see.
The transfer itself went fabulously. Typically, it's been the transfer that has been the rough part for us, so I'm thankful that I don't have that to worry about. As they were wheeling me out of the OR, I told Dr. K that I was worried the two didn't look so great. Her response was "I'm thrilled that one looked good." She's right. We've now done all we can do. They had me lie on my back for 30 minutes and then we were off.
I WISH I didn't know about the great stats recently. They did get my hopes up. Now, my hopes are not so great. The nurses reminded me that spotting/bleeding is/can be normal, so not to stress over that. I did not spot at ALL with FET #1, but did spot (and bleed) with both fresh IVFs.
Beta is Tues Feb 4, 12 days post transfer. I confirmed that if implantation is going to happen, it will occur in the next day or so.
Prior to the transfer, Dan said "this is it." I reminded him that we still have frozen sperm and he shook his head no. I was in no position or mood to argue my point, but am willing to fight for one more IUI cycle should this not work.
We stopped by McDonald's, and then got home about 11:30. My mom was watching Sophie, so after eating I went straight to bed where I slept off the Valium. My parents just left about 3 PM, and Dan's mom came to take over Sophie duty for the next few hours. I'm on light duty, and can't lift anything over 20 pounds for the next few days, which means Sophie:( She can crawl up in my lap, but I can't actually pick her up.
I'm in bed, and our scanner is packed away. Will post a picture of my 3 little embies on Monday. Stick little ones,please...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
less than 48 hours...
I hope to have at least 2 little embies attempting to implant in the next 48 hours. I'm not expecting the 3rd to thaw, but certainly hope that the two "good" ones survive the thaw process.
Thankfully work and home life have been keeping me busy. The closer I get though, the more I REALLY want this work. Not that I *didn't* want this to work last week or last month, but this really is probably our last shot.
And the fact that Sophia is such a good, sweet baby makes me want another so much. Of course, I know there's no guarentee that McBaby #2 (or 3) will be like her, but she just makes it so easy. We still just stare and her, and look at each other and say "is she really ours?" or "how did we get so lucky?" or "she really is beautiful, isn't she?"
The truth is, now I know what I'm missing. Pre-Sophie, I wanted what alluded me so many times. Now, I know how great it is, and I want it again. That said, the pressure for this to work is not as great. Of course, I'll be heart-broken if the FET doesn't work, deeply upset, but as Dan says, it's a win-win situation for us. Even if this FET doesn't work, we have Sophie, which is all we really wanted in the first place.
Last night was the first night since moving her to her crib that I actually got up to get her, after she woke me up with her crying. It was obvious she didn't feel well, so I brought her to bed with us. She kept tossing and turning, and seemed warm so we gave her some Tylenol. She laid on my chest until she feel asleep. To me, it didn't matter what time it was, or that I had to get up a few hours later. I was so grateful to HAVE a child that woke me up in the middle of the night. I hope,hope, hope that there is another in our near future.
Thankfully work and home life have been keeping me busy. The closer I get though, the more I REALLY want this work. Not that I *didn't* want this to work last week or last month, but this really is probably our last shot.
And the fact that Sophia is such a good, sweet baby makes me want another so much. Of course, I know there's no guarentee that McBaby #2 (or 3) will be like her, but she just makes it so easy. We still just stare and her, and look at each other and say "is she really ours?" or "how did we get so lucky?" or "she really is beautiful, isn't she?"
The truth is, now I know what I'm missing. Pre-Sophie, I wanted what alluded me so many times. Now, I know how great it is, and I want it again. That said, the pressure for this to work is not as great. Of course, I'll be heart-broken if the FET doesn't work, deeply upset, but as Dan says, it's a win-win situation for us. Even if this FET doesn't work, we have Sophie, which is all we really wanted in the first place.
Last night was the first night since moving her to her crib that I actually got up to get her, after she woke me up with her crying. It was obvious she didn't feel well, so I brought her to bed with us. She kept tossing and turning, and seemed warm so we gave her some Tylenol. She laid on my chest until she feel asleep. To me, it didn't matter what time it was, or that I had to get up a few hours later. I was so grateful to HAVE a child that woke me up in the middle of the night. I hope,hope, hope that there is another in our near future.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
On the market!!!
Our condo is officially on the market!! Woohoo!!! Wish I could post the listing here, but that is a bit weird...putting my address out there like that,lol. We spent SO much time cleaning this weekend. There is a broker open house today, and a public open house this weekend. Is it too much to ask that someone sees it and loves it and put in a contract?? I suppose in this economy, yes that is too much to ask.
But, I cannot IMAGINE keeping this level of cleanliness. We have a baby and a shedding dog!
In FET news, I took my antiobiotic on Sunday, and also started the PIO. I started Medrol on Monday, upped the PIO and also started baby aspirin. Also, I got a call from my pharmacy saying I have a script to pick up, so I assume Dr. K was fine with calling in the Valium for me.
I won't know until Thursday afternoon what time to be at Dr. K's office, but I just scheduled a massage appt for 9 am Friday morning. Between the massage and the Valium, I will be a wet noodle:)
Sophie took her first few stumbling steps this weekend. She also did alot of knee walking, which I have NEVER seen before, lol. I wanted to post more pics than this, but ran out of time this morning. In addition to the knee walking, she's started doing these weird leg moves. I'm not sure if it's a precurser to walking, but it sure is adorable:)
But, I cannot IMAGINE keeping this level of cleanliness. We have a baby and a shedding dog!
In FET news, I took my antiobiotic on Sunday, and also started the PIO. I started Medrol on Monday, upped the PIO and also started baby aspirin. Also, I got a call from my pharmacy saying I have a script to pick up, so I assume Dr. K was fine with calling in the Valium for me.
I won't know until Thursday afternoon what time to be at Dr. K's office, but I just scheduled a massage appt for 9 am Friday morning. Between the massage and the Valium, I will be a wet noodle:)
Sophie took her first few stumbling steps this weekend. She also did alot of knee walking, which I have NEVER seen before, lol. I wanted to post more pics than this, but ran out of time this morning. In addition to the knee walking, she's started doing these weird leg moves. I'm not sure if it's a precurser to walking, but it sure is adorable:)
Friday, January 14, 2011
"not while I'm eating"
This was Dan's response to my comment last night "I have a dildo-cam appt in the morning." It SO reminded me of the SATC episode with Charlotte and Trey, when they were trying to get pregnant. Except, I think in that episode Charlotte was talking about sperm:)
My monitoring appt went well. My lining is at a 12 which is great, and P4 is where it needs to be. I honestly didn't even ask the #, b/c I know I haven't O'd, and that's really what they are looking for with that blood draw.
Soooo...on Sunday, I'll take my antibiotic, and also start PIO and baby aspirin (continuing to also take the Estrace). FET is set for next Friday, Jan 21. They'll call me the day before to give a more specific time. At my RE, all of the fresh IVF ER and ETs are first, and then the FETs come after, so it really depends on what's going on with other patients.
I also asked the nurse to ask Dr. K for a few Valium pills for that morning. I really do think that taking Valium with IVF #2 was one of the different things we did that helped to make that cycle successful. At my u/s this morning my ute was back to looking "severely retroverted." The Valium tends to help straighten it out a bit.
Let the countdown begin. I'm trying to keep myself busy with things. Dan and I are going to a movie tomorrow, I'm having lunch with friends on Sunday, Monday will be spent cleaning for our first open house on Tues...must.keep.mind.occupied:)
My monitoring appt went well. My lining is at a 12 which is great, and P4 is where it needs to be. I honestly didn't even ask the #, b/c I know I haven't O'd, and that's really what they are looking for with that blood draw.
Soooo...on Sunday, I'll take my antibiotic, and also start PIO and baby aspirin (continuing to also take the Estrace). FET is set for next Friday, Jan 21. They'll call me the day before to give a more specific time. At my RE, all of the fresh IVF ER and ETs are first, and then the FETs come after, so it really depends on what's going on with other patients.
I also asked the nurse to ask Dr. K for a few Valium pills for that morning. I really do think that taking Valium with IVF #2 was one of the different things we did that helped to make that cycle successful. At my u/s this morning my ute was back to looking "severely retroverted." The Valium tends to help straighten it out a bit.
Let the countdown begin. I'm trying to keep myself busy with things. Dan and I are going to a movie tomorrow, I'm having lunch with friends on Sunday, Monday will be spent cleaning for our first open house on Tues...must.keep.mind.occupied:)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
rolling right along...
Condo stuff is keeping me busy, and sane (mostly). I'm continuing to take Estrace three times a day. That little blue pill really is nasty. It's not easy to swallow, and sometimes doesn't make it all the way down the first time. Gag-o-rama:(
I've developed a dull, nagging, never-go-away headache, from the Estrace I assume. Otherwise, no side effects so horrible that I feel the need to go on and on about them.
3 days until monitoring appt. I'm ready to see what's going on in there. Hopefully my lining is plumping up nicely and is soft and getting ready to act as the welcome wagon for Sophia's sibling(s). I can only hope.
We survived the realtor's visit this weekend. In all, they only had some minor recommendations. Apparently, we put TOO much stuff in the pods. "Do you have a picture to go there?" "Yep, in the pod." "Do you have a night stand and lamp?" "Yep, in the pod." So, I spent quite a bit at Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday trying to liven the place up with some personality. Dan threw a fit of course, but I didn't buy anything that I 1) didn't like or 2) don't plan on using again.
The photographer was supposed to take pictures today, but cancelled due to the snow storm. He's coming tomorrow instead. I'm feeling really good about how the place looks. We signed the selling contract, and I feel pretty good about our pricing. There are currently 21 condos for sale in our zipcode that are similar to ours; two of those are on our street. We've chosen to list our condo for 10k less than those two. Can you tell we are motivated to sell? We will probably lose money in this whole deal, but we need to get out. It's time. I've detached myself already. There should be a For Sale sign in the yard by Friday:)
Sophia continues to be utterly fantastic. Her schedule seems to be changing a bit. She's going to bed a bit early, waking earlier. She now sleeps from about 8:30 to 7:30 or 8. It's hard for me getting ready in the morning, when she's awake, but I also love the extra "me" time in the evening. And, now that the condo is just about ready, I actually see a book in my future:)
I think she might be teething, molars I assume? She's drooling, and fussy, and clingy. I am able to see her top gums when I turn her upside down. Thankfully, she loves that game. The bottom gums are harder to see. I *think* I might have felt the sharpness of a tooth this weekend, but really can't be too sure.
Her signing is coming along well too:) Except, yesterday she seemed to be signing "more" when she really wanted "milk." Not sure how that happened, lol. She's also starting to sign "potty" which is really cute, since it's sort of a complicated movement for her. The end result looks like she's waving:) She can also sign "all done" when she's finished eating, although the tell-tale sign is when she rips her bib off!
I've developed a dull, nagging, never-go-away headache, from the Estrace I assume. Otherwise, no side effects so horrible that I feel the need to go on and on about them.
3 days until monitoring appt. I'm ready to see what's going on in there. Hopefully my lining is plumping up nicely and is soft and getting ready to act as the welcome wagon for Sophia's sibling(s). I can only hope.
We survived the realtor's visit this weekend. In all, they only had some minor recommendations. Apparently, we put TOO much stuff in the pods. "Do you have a picture to go there?" "Yep, in the pod." "Do you have a night stand and lamp?" "Yep, in the pod." So, I spent quite a bit at Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday trying to liven the place up with some personality. Dan threw a fit of course, but I didn't buy anything that I 1) didn't like or 2) don't plan on using again.
The photographer was supposed to take pictures today, but cancelled due to the snow storm. He's coming tomorrow instead. I'm feeling really good about how the place looks. We signed the selling contract, and I feel pretty good about our pricing. There are currently 21 condos for sale in our zipcode that are similar to ours; two of those are on our street. We've chosen to list our condo for 10k less than those two. Can you tell we are motivated to sell? We will probably lose money in this whole deal, but we need to get out. It's time. I've detached myself already. There should be a For Sale sign in the yard by Friday:)
Sophia continues to be utterly fantastic. Her schedule seems to be changing a bit. She's going to bed a bit early, waking earlier. She now sleeps from about 8:30 to 7:30 or 8. It's hard for me getting ready in the morning, when she's awake, but I also love the extra "me" time in the evening. And, now that the condo is just about ready, I actually see a book in my future:)
I think she might be teething, molars I assume? She's drooling, and fussy, and clingy. I am able to see her top gums when I turn her upside down. Thankfully, she loves that game. The bottom gums are harder to see. I *think* I might have felt the sharpness of a tooth this weekend, but really can't be too sure.
Her signing is coming along well too:) Except, yesterday she seemed to be signing "more" when she really wanted "milk." Not sure how that happened, lol. She's also starting to sign "potty" which is really cute, since it's sort of a complicated movement for her. The end result looks like she's waving:) She can also sign "all done" when she's finished eating, although the tell-tale sign is when she rips her bib off!
Friday, January 7, 2011
a happy Friday morning
Early mornings are not usually my best time. Yes, I'm more of a morning person than a night person, but I still don't like getting out of bed. This morning was no different.
My alarm went off at 6. I snoozed until 6:30, at which time Sophia started fussing (and clearly wasn't stopping), so I went to get her and brought her to bed with us (because I still wasn't ready to face the world). She positioned herself directly on top of me, nestled her head into my neck and started making sweet little Sophie noises. Sierra was on the side of me, pressing all of her weight into me, keeping me warm. Dan was alternating petting Sierra and rubbing Sophie's back. Sophie started petting Sierra (and Sierra let her!) It was wonderful. Not the type of morning waking I am used to. It was so hard to get up to start the day, but I'm still thinking about those wonderful few minutes this morning:)
FET update: I do believe the Estrace is working. I'm starting to get some "signs" that things are working down in the girly region. 7 days until my monitoring appt.
My alarm went off at 6. I snoozed until 6:30, at which time Sophia started fussing (and clearly wasn't stopping), so I went to get her and brought her to bed with us (because I still wasn't ready to face the world). She positioned herself directly on top of me, nestled her head into my neck and started making sweet little Sophie noises. Sierra was on the side of me, pressing all of her weight into me, keeping me warm. Dan was alternating petting Sierra and rubbing Sophie's back. Sophie started petting Sierra (and Sierra let her!) It was wonderful. Not the type of morning waking I am used to. It was so hard to get up to start the day, but I'm still thinking about those wonderful few minutes this morning:)
FET update: I do believe the Estrace is working. I'm starting to get some "signs" that things are working down in the girly region. 7 days until my monitoring appt.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
13 months
How is it possible that Sophia is 13 months old? The phrase that "time flies" really has never been more true.
I posted a few days ago about some of the fun stuff she is doing, but I left some out...because, well...she is SO fun and everything she does is entertaining.
1)She loves her wooden puzzles. She likes to pick up the pieces and clap them together. But, before that she will hold each one up to her ear like it's a phone.
2) She loves light switches, and when she flips them on and off, immediately turns in the direction of the light to see what she has done, lol.
3) She hugs and pats her baby dolls.
4) She has started to pat Sierra. too cute.
5) She is a water CHUGGER. SHe LOVES to drink, especially with her straw cup.
6) She loves for me to chase after her (me on all fours). She finds it hysterical.
7) She points all the time. I greet her in the morning and she immediately turns to her closet and starts pointing.
8) She signed "more."
9) I think she's trying to sign "milk" but doesn't have it quite right yet.
10) Her favorite sport is hockey. If the TV is on (which it is ALWAYS on) and she is playing, and Dan puts it on hockey her head spins around so fast you think her neck will break.
11) The girl seriously needs another hair cut already. Mark of a true redhead that her hair grows so fast?
12) She knows that her coat means "bye-bye."
13) She continues to be infatuated with pulling everything out of drawers, and is not humored when I put everything back in.
14) Since weaning, our nighttime routine has been for her to get in bed with me while I watch TV. She snuggles her little head into the crook of my neck and drinks her milk. Once she gets tired of the milk, she will alternate the milk with her Wubbanub, and then try to put both in her mouth at the same time. Ultimately, she falls asleep nestled tightly against me. It's my favorite time of the day.
15) For the life of me, I can't get her to pose for a picture. All I seem to get lately are action shots. THe girl is on the move.
I posted a few days ago about some of the fun stuff she is doing, but I left some out...because, well...she is SO fun and everything she does is entertaining.
1)She loves her wooden puzzles. She likes to pick up the pieces and clap them together. But, before that she will hold each one up to her ear like it's a phone.
2) She loves light switches, and when she flips them on and off, immediately turns in the direction of the light to see what she has done, lol.
3) She hugs and pats her baby dolls.
4) She has started to pat Sierra. too cute.
5) She is a water CHUGGER. SHe LOVES to drink, especially with her straw cup.
6) She loves for me to chase after her (me on all fours). She finds it hysterical.
7) She points all the time. I greet her in the morning and she immediately turns to her closet and starts pointing.
8) She signed "more."
9) I think she's trying to sign "milk" but doesn't have it quite right yet.
10) Her favorite sport is hockey. If the TV is on (which it is ALWAYS on) and she is playing, and Dan puts it on hockey her head spins around so fast you think her neck will break.
11) The girl seriously needs another hair cut already. Mark of a true redhead that her hair grows so fast?
12) She knows that her coat means "bye-bye."
13) She continues to be infatuated with pulling everything out of drawers, and is not humored when I put everything back in.
14) Since weaning, our nighttime routine has been for her to get in bed with me while I watch TV. She snuggles her little head into the crook of my neck and drinks her milk. Once she gets tired of the milk, she will alternate the milk with her Wubbanub, and then try to put both in her mouth at the same time. Ultimately, she falls asleep nestled tightly against me. It's my favorite time of the day.
15) For the life of me, I can't get her to pose for a picture. All I seem to get lately are action shots. THe girl is on the move.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The weighting game...
Up it goes.
My *normal* (pre-IF hormone) weight is about 130. When I got pregnant with Sophia I was up to 140, and then gained 23 pounds while pregnant. I lost it all within 10 days, and then the weight continued to plummet. At my thinnest, I weighed 122, but my norm, while breastfeeding, was about 124 (which was less than I weighed when we got married!). Complete weaning coincided with Christmas eating,so it's hard to say what's the culprit, but after Christmas I was up to 127.
Today, 3 days into Estrace (and nearing the end of my period) I weighed 128.5. So, here we go. Goodbye to my size 6 skinny jeans, lol:(
My *normal* (pre-IF hormone) weight is about 130. When I got pregnant with Sophia I was up to 140, and then gained 23 pounds while pregnant. I lost it all within 10 days, and then the weight continued to plummet. At my thinnest, I weighed 122, but my norm, while breastfeeding, was about 124 (which was less than I weighed when we got married!). Complete weaning coincided with Christmas eating,so it's hard to say what's the culprit, but after Christmas I was up to 127.
Today, 3 days into Estrace (and nearing the end of my period) I weighed 128.5. So, here we go. Goodbye to my size 6 skinny jeans, lol:(
Monday, January 3, 2011
Because I feel the need....
I'm posting twice in one day.
1) Guess what I just got?! An e-mail from a co-worker that his son was born on Dec 29. The kicker? A family pic attached of mom, dad, new baby and TWO year old big sister. I tell you...these people just FIND me, lol:)
2) I talked to my nurse today and my estimation of b/w and u/s on Jan 14 was right on. Should all look good that day, meaning my ute is nice and plump and comfy-looking, I'll start PIO on Jan 16 and FET will be Jan 16.
3) I hope I didn't jinx myself this morning. My obgyn nurse called to reschedule my annual exam which was, ironically, scheduled for Jan 21. I told her we were going through an IVF procedure and "let's just push it to Feb in hopes that it can be a prenatal visit." Damnit, WHY did I say that? WHY, why WHY?!?!?
1) Guess what I just got?! An e-mail from a co-worker that his son was born on Dec 29. The kicker? A family pic attached of mom, dad, new baby and TWO year old big sister. I tell you...these people just FIND me, lol:)
2) I talked to my nurse today and my estimation of b/w and u/s on Jan 14 was right on. Should all look good that day, meaning my ute is nice and plump and comfy-looking, I'll start PIO on Jan 16 and FET will be Jan 16.
3) I hope I didn't jinx myself this morning. My obgyn nurse called to reschedule my annual exam which was, ironically, scheduled for Jan 21. I told her we were going through an IVF procedure and "let's just push it to Feb in hopes that it can be a prenatal visit." Damnit, WHY did I say that? WHY, why WHY?!?!?
Down the hatch to 2011
My period showed a day early, so I started my Estrace bright and early on 01/01/01:)
I'm much more excited than I should be on cd3 (t minus 18 days). I'm waiting (patiently) on a call from my nurse to schedule my b/w and u/s. I'm assuming it will be Friday, Jan 14.
It's funny how our mind works, or at least how mine works. I was at the mall on Sunday, and guess who I saw? Moms with baby bumps, and toddlers. I swear, the only women I saw were 1) pregnant and 2) already a mom. It's like when you want to buy a new car, and the only cars on the road you see are the ones you are interested in. craziness.
I think the only thing that is going to keep my mind occupied these next several weeks are the home improvements we are doing in order to get our condo on the market. I spent ALL weekend taping, painting, keeping Sophie out of the paint, keeping Sierra out of the paint. It's endless. We got so much done, but it just highlights what we still have left to do.
Here's our January timeline:
Jan 7: realtor stops by to see our improvements; talk about listing price
Jan 11: photographer comes by to take pics for website
Jan 14: u/s and b/w (I think)
Jan 18: broker open house
Jan 21: FET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 23: first open house to public
Feb 2: BETA (I think)
Talk about a whirlwind. The goal, minimally, is for me to keep my sanitity during this time. Honestly, I'm glad it's all happening at once. It keeps my mind busy for the most part, so that it doesn't wander into territories like due dates, maternity leave, etc.
And can I just say that 2010 was a really great year for me. Looking back, I can't remember a much better year in a very long time. I have my baby, we were all relatively illness-free, not hit too hard by the economy, my sister got married, my mom didn't loose her marbles, I still have a job. I can only hope that 2011 is as great, if not better:)
I'm much more excited than I should be on cd3 (t minus 18 days). I'm waiting (patiently) on a call from my nurse to schedule my b/w and u/s. I'm assuming it will be Friday, Jan 14.
It's funny how our mind works, or at least how mine works. I was at the mall on Sunday, and guess who I saw? Moms with baby bumps, and toddlers. I swear, the only women I saw were 1) pregnant and 2) already a mom. It's like when you want to buy a new car, and the only cars on the road you see are the ones you are interested in. craziness.
I think the only thing that is going to keep my mind occupied these next several weeks are the home improvements we are doing in order to get our condo on the market. I spent ALL weekend taping, painting, keeping Sophie out of the paint, keeping Sierra out of the paint. It's endless. We got so much done, but it just highlights what we still have left to do.
Here's our January timeline:
Jan 7: realtor stops by to see our improvements; talk about listing price
Jan 11: photographer comes by to take pics for website
Jan 14: u/s and b/w (I think)
Jan 18: broker open house
Jan 21: FET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 23: first open house to public
Feb 2: BETA (I think)
Talk about a whirlwind. The goal, minimally, is for me to keep my sanitity during this time. Honestly, I'm glad it's all happening at once. It keeps my mind busy for the most part, so that it doesn't wander into territories like due dates, maternity leave, etc.
And can I just say that 2010 was a really great year for me. Looking back, I can't remember a much better year in a very long time. I have my baby, we were all relatively illness-free, not hit too hard by the economy, my sister got married, my mom didn't loose her marbles, I still have a job. I can only hope that 2011 is as great, if not better:)
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