eating...

I don't blame this completely on starting solids, since it started happening before we introduced any, but Sophie is not a fan of the bottle anymore. If she's starving she'll eat, but if she's not, she'll just play with it and it just gets messy (and frustrating). When I came back to work, I left three 4-oz bottles with Dan. She always ate at least 2 of them, usually 3. Well, that turned into only eating 2, and now, she's eating her first bottle at about 3 pm (when I haven't fed her since 6 am). What's up with that?

Is this b/c of the introduction of solids? During the day, Dan feeds her one time, usually a fruit. The first few times he did this, he fed her the ENTIRE container "because she seemed hungry." This started the discussion we continue to go round and round about. That is, her primary source of nutrition until she's one should be breastmilk. He does NOT get it, although he's finally resigned himself to only giving her 1/3-1/2 of one container. But again, this decrease in bottle usage started before solids, so I can't contribute it all to that.

But, since this is the new pattern, I'm thinking about cutting down pumping at work from 2x a day to 1x. I don't think that will have any horrible repercussions on breastfeeding, will it? I mean, she eats 4 oz from a bottle a day (if that, sometimes she doesn't even finish), and when I pump 2x a day, I typically get 10-12 oz daily. That is only pumping about 10 minutes TOTAL daily, so I know I could get more if I put more time into it. So it seems to me, even if I cut one session, I am still pumping 1-3 more ounces than she needs, daily. Plus, I have oodles of frozen breastmilk at home. I think if I were to quit bfing right now, I would easily have a two week supply.

As far as the downside of cutting out a session, I'm worried for purely selfish reasons. 1) I'm afraid my weight will start to go back up and 2) that my period will start. Obviously, if we have any prayer of another baby, a period is a must, but at the same time it is SO nice without one!

3) I am absolutely petrified of the hormonal imbalance once weaning starts. The PPD I suffered was bad enough, and now I'm hearing that if you suffered from PPD that the weaning process can be just as bad. I don't know if I (or Dan) can handle that.

I don't know what to do. I need to think about it a bit more. I think also, cutting out a pumping session is another step closer to her "growing up," so I think I'm feeling similar to how I felt when she started solids. Why rush it if there is no need. I also hope it's not a snowball effect, and that if my body sees my cutting down sesssions, that it will start decreasing milk supply over all.

Don't get me wrong. Formula is not the end of the world for me, it really isn't. But I worked so hard, especially in the beginning with the clogged duct, then mastistis, then abscess, and now it's finally easy and I don't want to mess it up.

I'll take some time this weekend to think about it.

For fun, here's a pic of Sophia from last night--sorry for the booger hanging out of her nose:) I LOVE the onsie. It says "I'm a Miracle." It also has a matching hat that should be perfect for fall:) Dan's Aunt P sent it to her when she was just a few weeks old. I remember thinking how BIG it looked, and now, it fits her perfectly.