I made headway today. I scheduled an appt with S.herman S.ilber for a 2nd opinion about our "case." I really really love Dr. K and it is not my intent to switch, unless he offers a drastically different protocol or way of going at this whole mess. He is world famous, has written several books, etc, and is supposed to be the best in STL. http://www.infertile.com/ He is extremely busy and the first consult I could get isn't until Dec 8. I actually expected that. It gives me something to put on the calendar and look forward to.
In other news...I am still in a depressive funk and have been drinking Mountain Dew like it is going out of style. Positively though, I've started walking again. I stopped the morning of FET. Sierra and I walk 2 miles every morning. I'm hoping to add to that, and maybe kick it up to jogging. This is as good a time as any to get the IF weight off. I've gained 12 pounds since starting IVF in May, and am up 1-2 dress sizes. Not fun.
The period from hell continues to torment me....
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
pity party weekend
I've been feeling sorry for myself all weekend. On Friday, I was surprised with the news that my cousin is pregnant. Apparently this was a well kept secret and my grandma spilled the beans. I was ok at first, it wasn't a shock really. THen as the day went on I just got more and more upset. Jealousy I suppose? I just want one. One child. That is ALL I am asking for. Is that too much? I slept most of the day on Friday out of some sort of depressive funk, I guess.
Last night, Dan and I celebrated our 10th anniversary of the day we met:-) We went to our favorite restaurant. It was nice; I brought up a serious IF discussion with him, which he was very open to, thankfully. I won't discuss it here, yet...but I'm hopeful that we may have another option.
Someone posted on the nest a few days ago about missing their embryos. I didn't respond to the post, but I've been thinking about it all weekend. It seems crazy to miss embryos...but I do. I miss that they are not in a lab growing, cells dividing. I miss that they are not in a freezer waiting for me. Most of all, I miss that they are not inside me, growing and thriving. It's a weird sort of loss, but it is there. They were something that Dan and I created, and they are gone now. All of them. We had 5 healthy embryos and now they are gone. It makes me sad.
To top it off, the FET period from hell arrived this morning. I will not go into details...but I think it's the worst period I have.ever.had.
Last night, Dan and I celebrated our 10th anniversary of the day we met:-) We went to our favorite restaurant. It was nice; I brought up a serious IF discussion with him, which he was very open to, thankfully. I won't discuss it here, yet...but I'm hopeful that we may have another option.
Someone posted on the nest a few days ago about missing their embryos. I didn't respond to the post, but I've been thinking about it all weekend. It seems crazy to miss embryos...but I do. I miss that they are not in a lab growing, cells dividing. I miss that they are not in a freezer waiting for me. Most of all, I miss that they are not inside me, growing and thriving. It's a weird sort of loss, but it is there. They were something that Dan and I created, and they are gone now. All of them. We had 5 healthy embryos and now they are gone. It makes me sad.
To top it off, the FET period from hell arrived this morning. I will not go into details...but I think it's the worst period I have.ever.had.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
My consolation prize
I got a Mountain Dew before work. Honestly, I wanted a big 44 ouncer, but the gas station I went to didn’t have fountain Mtn Dew, so I had to settle for a measly 20 ouncer. That is the way I celebrated my BFN.
I woke up this morning feeling very “free.” I loved it. I know I will start feeling antsy again, but I want to take full advantage of this feeling of freedom. No early morning appts, no dildo-cam, no blood work, no waiting for the nurse to call to tell me what to do. I have my WTF appt on Oct 8 and we’ll go from there. I hope to get a lap done in the next month or so, and hopefully another test or two. But otherwise, I’m not going to worry about it.
Dan and I talked a bit yesterday about living “child free.” I have to say that this option is not looking too bad to me right now, or maybe it is self-preservation. Who knows. But we had a fun little conversation about things we could do, places we could travel, if we aren’t meant to have children.
In fun news…today is the 10th anniversary of the day Dan and I met. Makes me feel old. I can’t believe I met him when I was 24! And yes, we do celebrate this anniversary (Dan knows this date better than our wedding anniversary). We’re going to dinner at our favorite restaurant on Saturday night. Nothing too exciting, but we are looking forward to it.
I guess my blog is going to take on a new life for the next few months…as I get productive in other areas of my life. I do well with lists, so am going to start a to-do list of everything I want/need to accomplish before the end of the year.
I woke up this morning feeling very “free.” I loved it. I know I will start feeling antsy again, but I want to take full advantage of this feeling of freedom. No early morning appts, no dildo-cam, no blood work, no waiting for the nurse to call to tell me what to do. I have my WTF appt on Oct 8 and we’ll go from there. I hope to get a lap done in the next month or so, and hopefully another test or two. But otherwise, I’m not going to worry about it.
Dan and I talked a bit yesterday about living “child free.” I have to say that this option is not looking too bad to me right now, or maybe it is self-preservation. Who knows. But we had a fun little conversation about things we could do, places we could travel, if we aren’t meant to have children.
In fun news…today is the 10th anniversary of the day Dan and I met. Makes me feel old. I can’t believe I met him when I was 24! And yes, we do celebrate this anniversary (Dan knows this date better than our wedding anniversary). We’re going to dinner at our favorite restaurant on Saturday night. Nothing too exciting, but we are looking forward to it.
I guess my blog is going to take on a new life for the next few months…as I get productive in other areas of my life. I do well with lists, so am going to start a to-do list of everything I want/need to accomplish before the end of the year.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
It's official
The nurse called to say "I'm sorry to tell you but you aren't pregnant." Thank goodness I POAS the other day. If I hadn't, I would swear I am pregnant, just b/c of these damn PIO symptoms. What a slap in the face that call would have been. I can stop all meds now thank God.
I have a call in to schedule my WTF is next appt. I'm going to ask Dr. K about doing a lap, and also about the Y.ale test. Plus there is one other that can be done if it turns out I might have endo. Nothing points to that, but I do have some of the lesser symptoms, fatigue, pain with sex sometimes and obviously infertility. Do I want them to drill a hold in my body? No of course not, but if it gives us some answers, even if it is only to rule out something I will do it. Dr. K has mentioned a lap in the past, but also said she saw no reason for me to do it, unless I wanted the peace of mind. I guess I'm ready for the peace of mind now.
I'm running out of options here. I really want that Y.ale test. If I don't have the sticky stuff I need, and can't start producing it there is no need to do another IVF. Even with perfect embies it just wouldn't work.
I have a call in to schedule my WTF is next appt. I'm going to ask Dr. K about doing a lap, and also about the Y.ale test. Plus there is one other that can be done if it turns out I might have endo. Nothing points to that, but I do have some of the lesser symptoms, fatigue, pain with sex sometimes and obviously infertility. Do I want them to drill a hold in my body? No of course not, but if it gives us some answers, even if it is only to rule out something I will do it. Dr. K has mentioned a lap in the past, but also said she saw no reason for me to do it, unless I wanted the peace of mind. I guess I'm ready for the peace of mind now.
I'm running out of options here. I really want that Y.ale test. If I don't have the sticky stuff I need, and can't start producing it there is no need to do another IVF. Even with perfect embies it just wouldn't work.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Damn you, PIO
Oh my goodness. I am so tired. I fell asleep last night at 8, and woke up just in time for next PIO shot (lucky me). This is one of those lovely "could be pregnancy symptom" "could be PIO symptom" that we all get to experience. I've been feeling more tired lately, and I suppose that's what gave me some hope (in addition to not spotting, which I'm still not). Last night it just HIT me like a ton of bricks. After I woke up from my "nap" Dan asked if I was going to be able to sleep tonight. Um, yeah...
I have come to terms with my BFN. I'm not expecting a miracle tomorrow, but of course do hope for one. I've started my list of questions for Dr. K. One of which is how to test for implantation issues. We've eliminated all other possible issues.
1) my eggs are fine
2) Dan's sperm is fine
3) fertilization is fine
4) embryo quality is fine
5) almost all our embies made it to blast, which is great
That really just leaves one possible issue and that is implantation. Y.ale researchers have a test that they do. My RE could do it (if she would) and then send the biopsy away to Y.ale. It's $460 which I would gladly pay if it would give us some answers. In my quick research, it seems that there is a sticky substance that is found in fertile women that is not found in those with unexplained infertility. This sticky substance is supposed to help the embryo attach. Seems like one treatment is more specific hormone treatment. The article talked about p4 supps being "better" than PIO. Trust me, I will be reading more about this.
I have come to terms with my BFN. I'm not expecting a miracle tomorrow, but of course do hope for one. I've started my list of questions for Dr. K. One of which is how to test for implantation issues. We've eliminated all other possible issues.
1) my eggs are fine
2) Dan's sperm is fine
3) fertilization is fine
4) embryo quality is fine
5) almost all our embies made it to blast, which is great
That really just leaves one possible issue and that is implantation. Y.ale researchers have a test that they do. My RE could do it (if she would) and then send the biopsy away to Y.ale. It's $460 which I would gladly pay if it would give us some answers. In my quick research, it seems that there is a sticky substance that is found in fertile women that is not found in those with unexplained infertility. This sticky substance is supposed to help the embryo attach. Seems like one treatment is more specific hormone treatment. The article talked about p4 supps being "better" than PIO. Trust me, I will be reading more about this.
Monday, September 22, 2008
POAS...
and it was negative. Actually, I peed on 2 sticks and they were both negative. I'm doing ok for now. For me, it's better to know than not know. Plus, there is always the inkling of a chance that my beta might be positive. I suppose it's not over until Wed.
So why they hell aren't I spotting?
So why they hell aren't I spotting?
I think I am going to POAS
I.can't.take.it.anymore.
Sara works in an office with unlimited pregnancy tests. (Talk about torture!). I'm thinking I'm going to head over there after lunch and just get this over with. If it's negative, then I can prepare myself for a - beta, and move on mentally. If it's positive, then maybe they'll scoot up my beta until tomorrow.
I'm 10dp5dt so a HPT *should* be accurate.
Now that it's in my blog I guess there is no going back. Stay tuned....
Sara works in an office with unlimited pregnancy tests. (Talk about torture!). I'm thinking I'm going to head over there after lunch and just get this over with. If it's negative, then I can prepare myself for a - beta, and move on mentally. If it's positive, then maybe they'll scoot up my beta until tomorrow.
I'm 10dp5dt so a HPT *should* be accurate.
Now that it's in my blog I guess there is no going back. Stay tuned....
Sunday, September 21, 2008
So far...
so good:o) Not sure what to think, but so far I've had no spotting. Not even a hint of spotting. Trying to keep myself in check, I'm working on the assumption that the PIO is actually working this time. Thus, holding off the spotting. I supposed it could also be the Estrace, but I haven't seen any documentation that Estrace holds off a period. So we'll see...
Here's a pic of me in the recovery room after FET. Note my ANgie bracelet, and my hands holding the FertilityPerson
In other news...I dyed my hair red this weekend; intense auburn/spicy salsa to be exact. It's a little too crazy for me, although Dan likes it:o) The pics below don't do it justice, I need to get one taken outside.
Here's the quilt I made for the wedding this weekend. And Sierra helping me sew:o)
Friday, September 19, 2008
I'm afraid....
to go to the bathroom. There, I said it. Today is THE day that the spotting COULD start. Right now, happy oblivion seems better to me than a smack in the face that the FET didn't work.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
In the 1 week wait
Here I sit, patiently waiting for something…anything…to give me an indication of pregnant or not. Of course I don’t want the “not” but I’d rather know that not know. 6 days until beta. With my fresh IVF cycle, I started spotting, brown at first, at 7dp5dt. So, that means I *could* start spotting tomorrow. I’m one of the freaks of nature that actually spots through the PIO or p4 supps. The p4 is supposed to hold off AF, but it doesn’t for me. So my first teeny tiny goal is to get through tomorrow with no spotting. If so…next goal is to get through the weekend without seeing red. If that’s the case…I might start feeling a little teeny bit hopeful.
No real symptoms of anything, not even PIO symptoms. I’m bloated I guess but that’s about it. This morning I had this weird sensation that was like needles being jabbed into my girlie parts. It felt like the pain was from the outside in. Don’t know what it was, but it was new to me. Lasted about 10 seconds, then came back again and then gone.
I still don’t have any desire to POAS. I’m sure that’s partly b/c the only test I have left is a digital, “the most expensive stick you’ll ever pee on.” I don’t want to pee on $30 only to have it say NOT PREGNANT. Definitely not my idea of a good time. The absence of a 2nd line is a bit easier to take that the glaring NOT.
As I was falling asleep last night I realized that I can completely envision both scenarios. I can hear my nurse (who I love) calling to say Congrats!; I can also hear her saying I’m sorry. I don’t know. I’m feeling rather calm about the whole thing. I’m definitely more optimistic than negative, despite the odds stacked against this cycle. Sure, there’s a 31% chance it will work, which means there’s a 69% chance that it won’t.
A wonderful Nestie offered up 2 boxes of Gonal-F for $25 a box yesterday. I jumped at that offer, hoping I won’t need it of course. If I DO need it though, it’s enough to just about get me through another fresh IVF, plus I have a box of Lupron at home, leftover from IVF. That means that the most expensive meds for another cycle are already taken care of. We wouldn’t need to do ICSI, but I would want assisted hatching. I think we could do another cycle for just over $10k, which sounds like peanuts after our almost $15k for first cycle. I don’t know. I’m sure all this looking forward is just a defense mechanism in the event the FET is a bust.
No real symptoms of anything, not even PIO symptoms. I’m bloated I guess but that’s about it. This morning I had this weird sensation that was like needles being jabbed into my girlie parts. It felt like the pain was from the outside in. Don’t know what it was, but it was new to me. Lasted about 10 seconds, then came back again and then gone.
I still don’t have any desire to POAS. I’m sure that’s partly b/c the only test I have left is a digital, “the most expensive stick you’ll ever pee on.” I don’t want to pee on $30 only to have it say NOT PREGNANT. Definitely not my idea of a good time. The absence of a 2nd line is a bit easier to take that the glaring NOT.
As I was falling asleep last night I realized that I can completely envision both scenarios. I can hear my nurse (who I love) calling to say Congrats!; I can also hear her saying I’m sorry. I don’t know. I’m feeling rather calm about the whole thing. I’m definitely more optimistic than negative, despite the odds stacked against this cycle. Sure, there’s a 31% chance it will work, which means there’s a 69% chance that it won’t.
A wonderful Nestie offered up 2 boxes of Gonal-F for $25 a box yesterday. I jumped at that offer, hoping I won’t need it of course. If I DO need it though, it’s enough to just about get me through another fresh IVF, plus I have a box of Lupron at home, leftover from IVF. That means that the most expensive meds for another cycle are already taken care of. We wouldn’t need to do ICSI, but I would want assisted hatching. I think we could do another cycle for just over $10k, which sounds like peanuts after our almost $15k for first cycle. I don’t know. I’m sure all this looking forward is just a defense mechanism in the event the FET is a bust.
Monday, September 15, 2008
PIO by candlelight
Oh how romantic. Thanks to the remnants of Ike, we've been without power since Sunday at 7 am, and I've had serious internet withdrawals.
Dan offered to do the PIO last night, even though I think I've finally gotten into the groove. You should have seen me Friday night, just like throwing a dart at my ass:o) Anyway, there we were in our completely dark bedroom with one little candle sitting on the windowsill. Dan got ready and then said...I can't see. So I offered to hold the candle. Pants down, holding a margarita glass shaped candle (thanks Lisa, it came in handy:o)) up to my bum, and we have another successful injection done. Oh the stories we'll be able to tell...if only this works.
I was a total couch potato this weekend, and spent alot of time visualizing implantation. Dr. K said it should happen within about 48 hours after FET. No symptoms, though I didn't expect any. On Saturday, I did have this little blob of blood on the TP, but I had that with my fresh iVF and that obviously didn't mean anything. I assume it was just from cervix irritation or something.
Dan offered to do the PIO last night, even though I think I've finally gotten into the groove. You should have seen me Friday night, just like throwing a dart at my ass:o) Anyway, there we were in our completely dark bedroom with one little candle sitting on the windowsill. Dan got ready and then said...I can't see. So I offered to hold the candle. Pants down, holding a margarita glass shaped candle (thanks Lisa, it came in handy:o)) up to my bum, and we have another successful injection done. Oh the stories we'll be able to tell...if only this works.
I was a total couch potato this weekend, and spent alot of time visualizing implantation. Dr. K said it should happen within about 48 hours after FET. No symptoms, though I didn't expect any. On Saturday, I did have this little blob of blood on the TP, but I had that with my fresh iVF and that obviously didn't mean anything. I assume it was just from cervix irritation or something.
Friday, September 12, 2008
FET is DONE!!
Wow, it was pretty emotional. I got teary eyed just walking into the RE office (Fertility Person in hand and Angie bracelet on). We had to wait a little bit before being taken back. Then, we got in our "outfits" and were ready for Dr. K. She came in with a picture of THREE embryos!!! I was shocked. One of them looked different from the other two, in that there was no zona surrounding the cells. So Dr. K called the embryologist to get some info. Embryologist said she had seen healthy pregnancies result from an embie without a zona, so...we put all THREE back in!!
Once in the procedure room there was a bit of an issue, as expected, with my tilted uterus. The intern doing the u/s had some trouble identifing the uterus. Dr. K asked the expert u/s tech come down to help. We got to see the catheter in, and then once the embies were ready, we actually saw that pop out of the cathetar. Plop, plop, plop...there are THREE embies inside me.
Back in recovery room Dr K came to say all went well and I just lost it. She gave me kleenex, told me I'd done all I could do. SHe was almost in tears too, which made me cry harder. After she left, embryologist came in to wish us luck and I asked her a bit about the embie without the zone. She said sometimes it happens during the thaw when the zone separates from the cells, but there was no reason to think it was "bad."
Beta is Sept 24! They are only making me wait 12 days instead of 14. I was shocked at that too.
Without further adieu, here are the Stancey's!!! Sorry for the upside down scan, but it's not like they'd look any different right side up:o)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I have a time!!!!
12:45 CT tomorrow. I cannot wait. They will start thawing the embies this afternoon. I always thought the protocol for my RE was to thaw immediately before but I guess not. I asked if I could get a status report today and the nurse said it wasn't a good idea. Apparently, no embie looks "good" right after thaw, and they wouldn't want to worry me. They will start to perk up as the night goes on, and hopefully start growing again!!!
So hard to believe the Stancey's will be back in the game this afternoon. My maternal instincts are springing back to life again:o))
So hard to believe the Stancey's will be back in the game this afternoon. My maternal instincts are springing back to life again:o))
Some fun stuff...
On the day before my FET. Since I have nothing much to report, just waiting for nurse to call to tell me what time to be there tomorrow, thought I’d mention some fun stuff.
3) A more recent picture of me and Dan, and another of me and Kelly, all at the game on Sat night. I have to find somewhere to take pics other than the baseball game:o)
1) My friend Jeni, who I met through the Nest and is now a real life friend (:o)) sent me her Angie bracelet yesterday. Jeni had 2 beautiful twin girls this summer, and passed her bracelet on to me…I certainly hope the good luck continues. When I realized what was in the package I just started crying. Um yeah, holy hormones:o) Gretchen on the Nest (and currently pregnant with TWINS!!) made the Angie bracelet; she is a fabulous jewelry designer. You can find her here…http://www.gretchenleighdesigns.blogspot.com/, along with a picture of the bracelet and a description on what the stones represent. I love it. Since we have no insurance coverage for anything IF related, I was never able to buy my own Angie:o( But I have one now and am confident it will bring me lots of luck:o)
2) My friend Sara’s son turned 1 recently. Below is a picture of the blanket that I made, and Kelly and I gave to Grant for his 1st b-day. It’s actually more a present for mommy:o) The flags at the top spell out Grant with the nautical alphabet (Sara decorated his nursery with a nautical theme).
3) A more recent picture of me and Dan, and another of me and Kelly, all at the game on Sat night. I have to find somewhere to take pics other than the baseball game:o)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Why FET will work when IVF didn't.
First of all…about 50 hours until FET…but who’s counting?!?!?!?!
Second of all...I did my own PIO last night. And it didn't.hurt.at.all:o)) GO ME!
In follow-up to my post yesterday, and all the differences between IVF and FET, I am trying to stay positive about why this FET will work (at 31% of success) when IVF didn’t (at 50% chance of success)
As I alluded to yesterday, my stress level is just so much less for this cycle.
1) Stress 1: The day before my ET, our a/c quit working. This was late May in STL and it got hot fast. Not to mention we live in a 3rd floor condo. Heat rises and all that stuff. I remember sleeping on our sunroom floor the night of ET, b/c our bedroom was unbearable. I opened all sunroom windows, turned on the ceiling fan and used another fan and it was still sweltering. I figured as long as I was laying down it was ok. A/c didn’t get fixed for FIVE days.
2) Stress 2: Two days before ET the check engine light came on in our car. I figured I’d wait until after ET to get it looked at. Morning of ET the damn thing almost wouldn’t start, and we sputtered all the way to the RE. Immediately after ET Dan dropped me off at acu and went to a local garage, within walking distance. I was literally laying on the table with needles stuck in me when he comes in to tell me what is wrong, and that it would cost $1600 to fix. This, after just dropping $12k on the ER/ET. My acu’s husband drove us home.
3) Then I had the normal stress of how are my eggs, did anything fertilize, did anything continue to grow, did anything freeze.
4) And the major stressor that I must have been in denial about until my RE mentioned it at my WTF appt. The RE (not mine) who did the ET could not get the catheter in. It was taking her so long to get in that they had to take the embies back to the lab. At the time, I remember thinking uh oh this can’t be good. I remember looking at the u/s screen thinking God I hope she knows what she is doing b/c I can’t make out a thing on that screen. But then once I was back in the recovery room I seemed to forget all about it. It seems important enough though that Dr. K brought it up and made me do a 2nd mock transfer so she could draw another picture of the path to my uterus. Interestingly, the pic she drew for #2 was much different than for #1 so maybe that is my ticket out of this hell? Plus, she is doing the FET for me, not another RE in the group.
So, I am feeling much more confident that my stress is much reduced. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think stress is the reason I’m not pregnant, but reducing it certainly can’t hurt.
Second of all...I did my own PIO last night. And it didn't.hurt.at.all:o)) GO ME!
In follow-up to my post yesterday, and all the differences between IVF and FET, I am trying to stay positive about why this FET will work (at 31% of success) when IVF didn’t (at 50% chance of success)
As I alluded to yesterday, my stress level is just so much less for this cycle.
1) Stress 1: The day before my ET, our a/c quit working. This was late May in STL and it got hot fast. Not to mention we live in a 3rd floor condo. Heat rises and all that stuff. I remember sleeping on our sunroom floor the night of ET, b/c our bedroom was unbearable. I opened all sunroom windows, turned on the ceiling fan and used another fan and it was still sweltering. I figured as long as I was laying down it was ok. A/c didn’t get fixed for FIVE days.
2) Stress 2: Two days before ET the check engine light came on in our car. I figured I’d wait until after ET to get it looked at. Morning of ET the damn thing almost wouldn’t start, and we sputtered all the way to the RE. Immediately after ET Dan dropped me off at acu and went to a local garage, within walking distance. I was literally laying on the table with needles stuck in me when he comes in to tell me what is wrong, and that it would cost $1600 to fix. This, after just dropping $12k on the ER/ET. My acu’s husband drove us home.
3) Then I had the normal stress of how are my eggs, did anything fertilize, did anything continue to grow, did anything freeze.
4) And the major stressor that I must have been in denial about until my RE mentioned it at my WTF appt. The RE (not mine) who did the ET could not get the catheter in. It was taking her so long to get in that they had to take the embies back to the lab. At the time, I remember thinking uh oh this can’t be good. I remember looking at the u/s screen thinking God I hope she knows what she is doing b/c I can’t make out a thing on that screen. But then once I was back in the recovery room I seemed to forget all about it. It seems important enough though that Dr. K brought it up and made me do a 2nd mock transfer so she could draw another picture of the path to my uterus. Interestingly, the pic she drew for #2 was much different than for #1 so maybe that is my ticket out of this hell? Plus, she is doing the FET for me, not another RE in the group.
So, I am feeling much more confident that my stress is much reduced. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think stress is the reason I’m not pregnant, but reducing it certainly can’t hurt.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
IVF vs. FET
Have I mentioned how much less stressful a FET cycle is from IVF? With FET, I’ve only had 1 early morning appt, as opposed to about 7 with IVF, which means only 1 blood draw and one visit with the dildo-cam. I’m not constantly waiting for my nurse to call with instructions. I’m not giving myself a shot every day for about 6 weeks. I won’t have to take Ovidrel or go through the ER. I’m not bloated. I opted not to do acupuncture with this FET, more for financial reasons that anything else. We can't afford $50 each week.
The meds are so minimal with FET, compared to IVF. With both cycles I took/am taking PNV, baby aspirin, Medrol, doxy, PIO. With the FET I get to eliminate the Lupron and Follistim, which also happen to be the most expensive. With FET, I get the added med of Estrace which I am convinced is the devil in disguise. I.hate.Estrace. I hope to never take it again. Unfortunately, I have to keep taking it through the FET…and continue for 10 more weeks if we are lucky enough for an embie to stick.
Caution: I’m going to post a pic of a PIO needle below. I know my aversion to this thing is more mental than physical, and I don’t want to freak out anyone who may be getting ready for PIO for the first time. Really, it’s not as bad as it looks. If done correctly (as Dan told me), straight in…straight out, it doesn’t really hurt. Mine was a little painful last night though, and I’ve got a big bruise today. All in the name of baby right?! I must keep my eye on the prize.
IVF meds
FET meds (not sure why the felt the need to send a sharps container with the FET but not the IVF)
PIO needle
The meds are so minimal with FET, compared to IVF. With both cycles I took/am taking PNV, baby aspirin, Medrol, doxy, PIO. With the FET I get to eliminate the Lupron and Follistim, which also happen to be the most expensive. With FET, I get the added med of Estrace which I am convinced is the devil in disguise. I.hate.Estrace. I hope to never take it again. Unfortunately, I have to keep taking it through the FET…and continue for 10 more weeks if we are lucky enough for an embie to stick.
Caution: I’m going to post a pic of a PIO needle below. I know my aversion to this thing is more mental than physical, and I don’t want to freak out anyone who may be getting ready for PIO for the first time. Really, it’s not as bad as it looks. If done correctly (as Dan told me), straight in…straight out, it doesn’t really hurt. Mine was a little painful last night though, and I’ve got a big bruise today. All in the name of baby right?! I must keep my eye on the prize.
IVF meds
FET meds (not sure why the felt the need to send a sharps container with the FET but not the IVF)
PIO needle
Monday, September 8, 2008
I've been tagged!
I've been tagged by Andrea. I feel so popular! http://andreainindiana.blogspot.com/
The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.
6 random things about myself:
1. I’ve had over 15 jobs. 2 professionally, but before that 13 others (waiting tables, discount stores, etc).
2. I love to read. I always have a book at home and one in the car in case I get stranded somewhere and need something to do. I love paperbackswap.com.
3. I have personalized license plates.
4. My favorite tourist attraction in London is Westminster Abbey.
5. I am a Sex in the City addict; and the SITC quiz told me I am most like Charlotte.
6. My dream vacation is to go to Greece.
I'm tagging a few people who I hope won't mind:
Melissa: http://psychedforbaby.blogspot.com/
Rebekah: http://to-infertility-and-beyond.blogspot.com/
Lindsay: http://makingfoxcubs.blogspot.com/
Meepit: http://meepitonparade.blogspot.com/
The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.
6 random things about myself:
1. I’ve had over 15 jobs. 2 professionally, but before that 13 others (waiting tables, discount stores, etc).
2. I love to read. I always have a book at home and one in the car in case I get stranded somewhere and need something to do. I love paperbackswap.com.
3. I have personalized license plates.
4. My favorite tourist attraction in London is Westminster Abbey.
5. I am a Sex in the City addict; and the SITC quiz told me I am most like Charlotte.
6. My dream vacation is to go to Greece.
I'm tagging a few people who I hope won't mind:
Melissa: http://psychedforbaby.blogspot.com/
Rebekah: http://to-infertility-and-beyond.blogspot.com/
Lindsay: http://makingfoxcubs.blogspot.com/
Meepit: http://meepitonparade.blogspot.com/
The crazy couple with 10 dogs
I’ll start with IF news first, and then get to the title of this post…
Last night was my first PIO shot. I had already made up my mind I was going to do it myself. So, I iced, got the syringe ready, backed up to the bathroom mirror and tried to push the needle in. Not as easy as I remember. Apparently I got it sub-Q, b/c I started bleeding. Ok, not such a big girl. I yelled for Dan and told him he was going to have to do it. So, off to bed with my pants pulled half down and he gives me the shot like a pro. It hurt though, maybe b/c I’m just out of the groove of getting IM shots. Seems fine today. There’s a teeny bruise, but no pain. I also started Medrol this morning. Medrol is a pill that you take that helps your body to not reject the embryos. When they are put back in, my body will see them as a foreign object and try to get rid of them. Medrol should help with that. I also started taking baby aspirin yesterday. Not really sure of the purpose, but it’s what Dr. K says to do.
Now, in other news…I swear Dan and I will turn into the crazy couple with 10 dogs. We are volunteers for Stray Rescue, a no-kill animal shelter in St. Louis. They do wonderful work saving stray dogs and kitties, and recently won a nation-wide million dollar make-over. Anyway, Dan and I took one of the shelter dogs to an adoption event at PetSmart yesterday. Sadie Mae is a black/white pit-bull mix, and the sweetest girl. She recently gave birth, but no one knows where her puppies are, or if they survived. That made me horribly sad. Dan and I are talking about fostering her ourselves, just to get her out of the shelter and into somewhere more comfortable. We think our dog Sierra would get along just fine with her.
Then, this morning I was walking Sierra and a Dachshund came barreling across the street to us. I say barreling, but I don’t think 10 pound dogs can barrel can they? He didn’t have a name tag, but did have a rabies tag, but it was from a town about 30 miles away. So, I put Sierra’s leash on him and walked him home. Long story short, all was well until Lil’ Guy (which we called him) started humping my poor Sierra. She didn’t know what to think. She’s much bigger than him, so he could never reach the target, but she snapped at him twice and I can’t say that I blame her. After calling the shelter that vaccinated him, turns out that his owners had moved, and lived right up the street from us. So, I took little humper home, and Sierra is happy once again.
Last night was my first PIO shot. I had already made up my mind I was going to do it myself. So, I iced, got the syringe ready, backed up to the bathroom mirror and tried to push the needle in. Not as easy as I remember. Apparently I got it sub-Q, b/c I started bleeding. Ok, not such a big girl. I yelled for Dan and told him he was going to have to do it. So, off to bed with my pants pulled half down and he gives me the shot like a pro. It hurt though, maybe b/c I’m just out of the groove of getting IM shots. Seems fine today. There’s a teeny bruise, but no pain. I also started Medrol this morning. Medrol is a pill that you take that helps your body to not reject the embryos. When they are put back in, my body will see them as a foreign object and try to get rid of them. Medrol should help with that. I also started taking baby aspirin yesterday. Not really sure of the purpose, but it’s what Dr. K says to do.
Now, in other news…I swear Dan and I will turn into the crazy couple with 10 dogs. We are volunteers for Stray Rescue, a no-kill animal shelter in St. Louis. They do wonderful work saving stray dogs and kitties, and recently won a nation-wide million dollar make-over. Anyway, Dan and I took one of the shelter dogs to an adoption event at PetSmart yesterday. Sadie Mae is a black/white pit-bull mix, and the sweetest girl. She recently gave birth, but no one knows where her puppies are, or if they survived. That made me horribly sad. Dan and I are talking about fostering her ourselves, just to get her out of the shelter and into somewhere more comfortable. We think our dog Sierra would get along just fine with her.
Then, this morning I was walking Sierra and a Dachshund came barreling across the street to us. I say barreling, but I don’t think 10 pound dogs can barrel can they? He didn’t have a name tag, but did have a rabies tag, but it was from a town about 30 miles away. So, I put Sierra’s leash on him and walked him home. Long story short, all was well until Lil’ Guy (which we called him) started humping my poor Sierra. She didn’t know what to think. She’s much bigger than him, so he could never reach the target, but she snapped at him twice and I can’t say that I blame her. After calling the shelter that vaccinated him, turns out that his owners had moved, and lived right up the street from us. So, I took little humper home, and Sierra is happy once again.
Friday, September 5, 2008
FET is ON!!!
Or, as Dan would say...it's on like donkey kong. Don't really know what that means...but it sounds good right about now.
I'll start PIO and Medrol on Sunday. Can't wait to reunite with the big.ass.needle. Thursday afternoon they will call with a time for Friday. Basically, FETs are seen as low man on the totem pole. They do all the fresh ERs and ETs first, and then the FETs. As I see it, let the RE get warmed up...before she gets her hands on the Stancey's:o)
I can't wait. Just 7 more days!! I've said that already today, haven't I? Can't help it. Come on, Fertility Person and give me some luck this time please:o)
I'll start PIO and Medrol on Sunday. Can't wait to reunite with the big.ass.needle. Thursday afternoon they will call with a time for Friday. Basically, FETs are seen as low man on the totem pole. They do all the fresh ERs and ETs first, and then the FETs. As I see it, let the RE get warmed up...before she gets her hands on the Stancey's:o)
I can't wait. Just 7 more days!! I've said that already today, haven't I? Can't help it. Come on, Fertility Person and give me some luck this time please:o)
You got your wish...
That is what the u/s tech said this morning when looking at my uterine lining. "You got your wish, that is waaaayyyyy thick!" Woohoo!
I so missed the dildocam. It's been several months since I've had the pleasure. Tech and I were laughing about that. I love her, she's very personable and extremely thorough. She said you can totally tell when someone is new to the dildocam b/c they'll come in extremely nervous with lots of clothes on, nylons, multiple layers, etc. The next time they come in they are in sweats:o)
I wonder if they'll reduce my Estrace?? I could only hope. I hate that stuff.
Anyhoo...one hurdle down...one to go....Now I sit and wait for the nurse to call with my b/w results. If levels look good then we are good to go next Friday. I'm so freaking excited. Not to mention a Nestie just got a BFP from a FET so that is huge encouragment for me!!!
And I paid another $346 this morning. Running total for FET so far is $1,014:o(
7 days, 7 days, 7 days..................
I so missed the dildocam. It's been several months since I've had the pleasure. Tech and I were laughing about that. I love her, she's very personable and extremely thorough. She said you can totally tell when someone is new to the dildocam b/c they'll come in extremely nervous with lots of clothes on, nylons, multiple layers, etc. The next time they come in they are in sweats:o)
I wonder if they'll reduce my Estrace?? I could only hope. I hate that stuff.
Anyhoo...one hurdle down...one to go....Now I sit and wait for the nurse to call with my b/w results. If levels look good then we are good to go next Friday. I'm so freaking excited. Not to mention a Nestie just got a BFP from a FET so that is huge encouragment for me!!!
And I paid another $346 this morning. Running total for FET so far is $1,014:o(
7 days, 7 days, 7 days..................
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Pre-FET obsessing has started
I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the 31% chance of sucess with this FET. How exactly did Dr. K come up with this? I have no idea. She gave us a 50% chance for our first fresh IVF and we all know how that turned out. I guess the simple fact that the embies have gone through the stress of being frozen, and then thawed (hopefully), makes the % go down. But go down by almost 20?
Sart.org has alot of clinic stats across the country. So of course I have spent quite a bit of time on that site this morning. In 2006, my RE clinic did 25 FETS, with 20% resulting in live births; in 2005 they did 21 FETs, with a 29% success rate. When I looked at FETs in relation to an ovulatory disorder (which is me), in 2006, they only did one, but that ended in a baby. I like 100%. But I still don't know how Dr K came to 31%. Seems higher than the norm, so I guess she has some hope for me. Guess I should just ask. And I should say that it's 31% of ONE sticking, regardless of how many get put back. And, I should also say that my clinic is extremely picky about which embies they freeze. I believe our 3 were frozen on day 6, which is quite a bit of growth. At that time, 2 looked good and one looked iffy, but all were freeze-worthy.
Who the hell knows. All I know is a FET cycle is so much less stressful than a fresh IVF. My u/s and b/w is in the AM, so I should have confirmation tomorrow afternoon that we are on for 9/12.
Sart.org has alot of clinic stats across the country. So of course I have spent quite a bit of time on that site this morning. In 2006, my RE clinic did 25 FETS, with 20% resulting in live births; in 2005 they did 21 FETs, with a 29% success rate. When I looked at FETs in relation to an ovulatory disorder (which is me), in 2006, they only did one, but that ended in a baby. I like 100%. But I still don't know how Dr K came to 31%. Seems higher than the norm, so I guess she has some hope for me. Guess I should just ask. And I should say that it's 31% of ONE sticking, regardless of how many get put back. And, I should also say that my clinic is extremely picky about which embies they freeze. I believe our 3 were frozen on day 6, which is quite a bit of growth. At that time, 2 looked good and one looked iffy, but all were freeze-worthy.
Who the hell knows. All I know is a FET cycle is so much less stressful than a fresh IVF. My u/s and b/w is in the AM, so I should have confirmation tomorrow afternoon that we are on for 9/12.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
My Fertility Person...
I've never had a fertility good luck charm, and I've never really been superstitious about anything in regard to fertility. Now though, I have my very own Fertility Person. You will think I've lost my mind, but I don't think it wants to be photographed. Seriously, I took 6 different pics last night, in hopes of posting one here, and each one I took was blurry. I could not get a focused picture, even though looking through the camera lense it appeared clear. Ripleys...believe it or not...:o)
Anyway, this little Person (I'm calling a "person" to be politically correct and to not piss FP off b/c we really don't know guy or girl) was loaned to me by Sara, and has many healthy pregnancy's under its belt, including Sara's. Most recently, it was loaned to a woman who was going through her 4th IVF, and who got a BFP that cycle. Yes, the rational/logical side of me thinks ok, well it was her 4th IVF, odds are it was just her time to be successul. Sara on the other hand touched it once, ONCE and got pregnant, as did a few others in her office. I have met FP once before, but that was over lunch at Taco Bell. And as Sara said I didn't really get to "bond' with FP so now is my chance.
So it is mine now, at least for the next few weeks. FP is tiny, maybe 2.5 inches tall, but perfect to hold in my hand. I carry it in my pocket to work, and then put it on my desk. At night, I've been sleeping with it under my pillow.
Have I lost my mind? Probably. I don't doubt it. But at this point, what do I have to lose? And yes, I will be taking it with me to my transfer. Dan can hold one hand, and I'll hold FP in the other.
Anyway, this little Person (I'm calling a "person" to be politically correct and to not piss FP off b/c we really don't know guy or girl) was loaned to me by Sara, and has many healthy pregnancy's under its belt, including Sara's. Most recently, it was loaned to a woman who was going through her 4th IVF, and who got a BFP that cycle. Yes, the rational/logical side of me thinks ok, well it was her 4th IVF, odds are it was just her time to be successul. Sara on the other hand touched it once, ONCE and got pregnant, as did a few others in her office. I have met FP once before, but that was over lunch at Taco Bell. And as Sara said I didn't really get to "bond' with FP so now is my chance.
So it is mine now, at least for the next few weeks. FP is tiny, maybe 2.5 inches tall, but perfect to hold in my hand. I carry it in my pocket to work, and then put it on my desk. At night, I've been sleeping with it under my pillow.
Have I lost my mind? Probably. I don't doubt it. But at this point, what do I have to lose? And yes, I will be taking it with me to my transfer. Dan can hold one hand, and I'll hold FP in the other.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Labor Day weekend
In IF news...in addition to my previously reported side effects, I am the lucky winner of Estrace headaches. I woke up with one on Saturday morning, and could not get rid of it. Dan reminded me it might actually be from caffeine withdrawal, so I had a diet coke with dinner and it did nothing to relief the pain. In total, I took 6- 500 milligram Tylenol, and 2 migraine pills and nothing would get rid of it. It was gone when I woke up Sunday, but back again Sunday night. And off and on the rest of the weekend. Woke up with it again today...but seems to have subsided a bit. I have a history of migraines so it doesn't suprise me that I'd get them. They just suck, and can be so debilitating. The only thing I wanted to do was lay there and stay still.
My friend Sara let me borrow the Fertility Person. More on that later, I will do a whole post on FP, along with a picture:o) Sara, if you are reading...he/she is sitting on my desk staring at me, and I slept with it under my pillow Sun/Mon night:o)
3 days until u/s and 10 days till FET!!! I'm so afraid my u/s won't go well and I'll have to wait another week. I've been getting a crazy amount of CM this weekend, and I'm not sure what to think about that...good, bad, etc.
My friend Sara let me borrow the Fertility Person. More on that later, I will do a whole post on FP, along with a picture:o) Sara, if you are reading...he/she is sitting on my desk staring at me, and I slept with it under my pillow Sun/Mon night:o)
3 days until u/s and 10 days till FET!!! I'm so afraid my u/s won't go well and I'll have to wait another week. I've been getting a crazy amount of CM this weekend, and I'm not sure what to think about that...good, bad, etc.
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