Monday, October 13, 2008

My first IF therapy appt

It went well. I really didn't know what to expect. I've been through therapy sessions before, but never about IF. I started getting really frazzled right before I left for the appt, and then on the way there I felt like I was going to explode. I guess it was fear of the unknown, to an extent. She started out by saying tell me about yourself. I summed up my life in about 4 sentences:-) and then we were rolling.

I liked her. She has alot of experience with IF and pregnancy post IF clients. She knew what I was talking about when I said lap and beta. That was a test and she passed.

We talked about my support system. She told me I need to ask Dan for more emotional help with this. She's probably right.

I started crying when I talked about baby bellies and how they are everywhere. We talked about how we live in a very family friendly neighborhood and there are strollers everywhere. She pointed out that just b/c a woman has a baby belly doesn't mean she didn't go through alot to get to that stage. Point taken. I'm going to remember that. I certainly wouldn't want someone to get jealous of my bump, if I ever get that far.

I told her I hate the feelings of jealousy I have, but no matter what I do...they don't go away. She said that's something she's heard time and again and it is completely normal.

I told her how I felt so horrible for setting up a 2nd opinion appt. I told her it felt like I was stabbing RE in the back and that made me feel bad. She made me feel better about that.

i told her I was tired of living in 2 week cycles. 2 weeks until O, then 2 weeks until period, lather, rinse, repeat. She told me I need to focus more on the present. We know we won't be progressing with treatment until January, but that I should stop letting the days just float by, living for the next procedure, treatment, etc.

In all, it was good, although I don't neccesarily feel like any weight was lifted from my shoulders. I'll be going back in 2 weeks.


Stacy said...

Glad your therapy appointment went well. It is great that you like the therapist. :-)

Sara said...

Did your therapist give you any suggestions on how to "NOT" live your life from procedure to procedure? I could never really find a way to live without thoughts of having a baby or what I needed to do to get there... hobbies helped a little, but nothing ever filled that need. When my husband and I could try again was the only thing that I ever thought about. It was period to period for me... and nothing I ever did or planned took those thoughts away.

If someone knew the secret to help women fill that void they are feeling while they are entrenched in having a child, then it would certainly make this process a lot less of an emotional roller-coaster. Sorry... I guess that part just bothered me... of course you know that you need to adjust your focus and live life day to day... but how does someone do that!?