She's here!

AF showed her ugly head after only 2 days of spotting. Trying to make lemonade here, so I am focusing on the positive.

Today is officially cd1, which means I can start Lupron (i.e. start of IVF #2) in 20 days. I have a consult with Dr. K on Thursday to talk about our plan/protocol. I don't expect to stray far from IVF #1. I responded beautifully, I was just unlucky.

I'm feeling rather anxious. A consult appt means I'm one step closer to having to make our first payment of $4800. It is already accounted for in my FlexCare spending, but it really stinks to be using our allotment of $5k before January is even over.

I haven't told Dan yet. He knows IVF #2 is the next step, but he doesn't know I started. guess I'll drop that bomb tonight. He feels it as deeply as I do, just in other ways. I hope he goes with me on Thursday. If the past week is any indicator, I'm probably going to lose it in the RE office.

Getting back to the anxious thing though...I just wonder how far I am willing to go? I mean, if $$ weren't an issue I'd keep trying until we got it right. But money is most definately an issue. My parents have offered help, but how much money am I willing to ask them for?? God, asking them for money is the worst. I'm a very independent person, especially financially. IVF #1 was the first time they ever loaned us money. I almost cried out of embarrassment when my mom gave me a check for $5k.

I just wish it weren't about money. But it very much is.