Sunday, January 4, 2009

Feeling really scattered

I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I feel. I seem to jump from activity to activity, without really finishing anything. My thoughts are all over the place. I'm feeling very out of control. I guess that's a good reason to try a new hair color today:-)

IUI #7 is officially in the books. I had 3 eggs, and Dan had 21.5 million little boys and girls. Please GOD let one of them find the other. I guess that's not really my only prayer though. I really think my issue is implantation. So I guess I am also praying that my uterus is strong and welcoming and comfy...and everything that an embryo might need to succeed.

One of the Fellows did my IUI yesterday. I asked about heading right into IVF #2 if this cycle should fail. She said she didn't see why not, but recommended I call my nurse to confirm.

Last night, I went to a family friends holiday get-together with my parents. There were 2 little boys there, one 7 and one 4. The 4 year old was a cutie-patootie. It about broke my heart when my mom asked him for a hug. Not only did he give a hug, he jumped into her arms, and she picked him up and held him. I had to look away. She is so ready to be a grandma. Actually, I didn't even tell her about this IUI, which was really hard considering we hung out last night and IUI was yesterday morning. She just gets so excited. And it makes me mad. I tell her not to get her hopes up, but she does each and every time.

I'm really tired of disappointing people. Even Dan...who on his facebook status yesterday said "praying for a baby." Um...can you hear my heart just ripping into teeny tiny pieces???????


Anonymous said...
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andrea said...

oh my, that other comment. WTF?? I didn't know you could spammed in your blog.

I'm not advocating and free porn sites today... however I did want to remind you what a FANTASTIC, loving and supportive friend you are to so many. Despite all the crap you've had to deal with over the last year, you've been there for everyone else. You're not a disappointment - you are a source of strength!!

Can't wait to see the new hair color! New year, new look! Hope you'll post a picture!