Monday, August 18, 2008

got a BFN yesterday

I tested yesterday morning and got a BFN. I managed to find 2 tests under the bathroom sink, one that had lines and the digital pregnant/not pregnant kind. Since I was almost positive the test wouldn't be positive, I opted for the line test. I can't tell you how horrible seeing the digital NOT pregnant is. I'll save that for after a positive beta:-) It was expected really, so I wasn't upset. More mad than anything that this was my longest cycle EVER, and put off the FET for another week. I've been spotting a bit, but not enough to call it a period. If AF doesn't show by Wed, it will put us off ANOTHER week. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, so I know that there is a reason why our FET won't be done on Aug 29. What's another week really? Plus, it's an extra week I won't have to think about coming up with the 3k.

I'll pick up my Estrace tonight at the pharmacy and start that on CD1. I think I take it 3 x a day. Yuck. And I heard that it causes weight gain. Great. Just what I need. My PIO and other meds will be delivered on Wed...so let's get this show on the road! i can't tell you how much I am looking forward to those big ass needles going into my booty. Seriously, I'll do whatever it takes.

This has got to work. It HAS to work. If it doesn't, I don't know if we can afford another fresh IVF cycle. If so, it would be at least February, after we get our tax money, and that will only pay for a portion. My MIL asked us last week when our next "baby making" time was. I'm a teeny bit hopeful that she might loan us more money if it came to that, but GOD I do not want to have to ask. I came as close to an anxiety attack as I ever have the night we had to ask her for the money for the first IVF.

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