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Monday, December 29, 2008

Putting it in perspective

I got to visit Amy and her wonderfully beautiful little Mattie yesterday. First of all, Amy looks fabulous. You'd never guess there was a baby in there 9 days ago. It is amazing.

We were talking about her induction/delivery, and the fact that Matt got to be there for it. We also talked about our mutual struggle with infertility. She said something that just stopped me. A fact I knew was true, probably, but I often lose sight of. She said "I thought that was the hardest thing I'd ever have to go through."

When you are in the trenches of infertility, it's 1) hard to imagine that you will ever get out, and 2) impossible to believe that this is not the worst thing that can happen to you. But really, it's not. There *are* worse things, it's just so hard to imagine what those might be, b/c some days...I feel like this is just sucking the life out of me. I hate that it has done that to me, but it has. Don't get me wrong. Some days are great, and easily managable, but there isn't a day (probably an hour) that goes by that I don't think about infertility and wonder if I'll ever see the other side.

Amy really put it all in perspective though, and I am thankful for that.

I also realized that Mattie was the first baby I've held in over 15 months. And I loved every minute of it:-)

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