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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

unnecessary (??) paranoia

I woke up today with a not so good feeling. There is nothing obviously wrong (i.e. no spotting), and I still feel like crap, but I'm just having a not so positive day. Thankfully OB appt is tomorrow. Maybe I am just preparing myself should 1) we get an u/s and 2) things don't look so good? I don't know, but I don't like the feeling. The rational side of me is saying everything is fine, but still.

I "came out" to some more people at work yesterday. Maybe subconsciously I feel like I'm jinxing myself??

Why can't I just be normal, with normal thoughts?

3 comments:

Kristin said...

Unfortunately, I think this is life after BFP for us infertiles. We're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm not 19+ weeks pregnant and still worrying ridiculous amounts of what could go wrong. I think we all just want this so badly that we're scared to let our defenses down for a second. But just try to be positive, Mama. Baby needs it.

optimisticallyhopeful said...

After all you've been through, I kind of think it would ABNORMAL for you to not feel this way. I can't imagine how difficult things become once you finally get that long awaited BFP. I hope everything goes absolutely perfect at your appointment tomorrow!

Fran said...

Oh you petal, I agree with what the girls have said, it woudl be unreal for us infertiles to have a normal, enjoyable pregnancy! I am sure that tomorrow you'll feel good again, until the next appointment comes near! Lots of love and please update us as soon as you are back. Fran