Friday, May 22, 2009


I've started going live with our news. There are some co-workers I've been wanting to tell, and was so excited yesterday that I did just that. Of course, I get the usual responses (which follow lots of yelling and jumping up and down, of course). "Were you trying?, "Is this your first?", "How do you feel?" To all, I responded with something like "oh, yes, we tried for four long years, and it took us 2 IVF's to get to this point. Yes, I feel like crap, but am ecstatic everyday that I am sick and fatigued." That seemed to go over well. I could immediately see that they, if not "got it" then at least had some sort of idea where I was coming from.

Then there is the co-worker who said (as I was showing her the u/s picture) "the first page of my son's baby book is of his first u/s." My response? "Well, since we did IVF our first picture of baby is when it was just an embryo." She looked at my like I had 3 heads. Did I say something wrong? Make her uncomfortable? I don't know, and I really don't care.
Dan and I are both very open about what we went through. It is our reality, just like some people's reality is getting pregnant on their honeymoon. I'm open about the fact that we spent $40ishK to get pregnant, that we have 2 frozen embryos in a lab, that I went through surgery and nights and nights/weeks and weeks of shots to get to this point. Dan is open about the fact that he had to do his thing in a cup, and inject me with 70 shots (and that was just for IVF #2).

My goal isn't to make people uncomfortable, but if our situation educates, or better yet HELPS one person, I think it's fantastic. I get that some people are embarrassed by IF, or don't share their struggles b/c friends/family have opposing religious/political views, but we aren't like that.

I think of Dr. K every day. As we left the u/s yesterday, she is honestly the first person I wanted to call. I didn't of course. If all is still well at 20 weeks, I'll send her an u/s pic, and hopefully a pic of my obvious baby belly, and of course a thank you card. I'm starting to cry just thinking about it. I just owe her so much...

And speaking of awareness, here's the shirt I've been dying to get. Maybe I'll take the plunge and order after next Dr. S appt.

And of course one for McBaby


Anonymous said...

I think what you have done is amazing. I too am open if someone asks and I was nearly shocked when one colleague said to me that he could completely understand my pain (I was back after the ectopic pregnancy) as himself and the wife also had gone through IVF after 9 years of trying! You are right, people are very private about this but there are so many around us going through the same ordeal. "Made in a lab" is absolutely fantastic, I'll definitely get one of those if we'll ever get there!

Bluebird said...

I think it's fabulous. I found myself very open about IF after I was pregnant, but I'm not sure how much was due to the fact that I was pg with twins (people assumed/guesed/or asked). I hope I would have been regardless. Good for you :)

Lucy said...

I love the t-shirts! And the fact that you're so open about it! If I ever get my BFP, I plan to do the same. My feeling--if you're personally comfortable sharing, than it's good for people to hear. So much of IF is in the closet! And once you're pregnant, it's like an all clear to tell everyone. (We don't hide it now, and many people do know, but it's not on my Facebook page or anything...)

Rebekah said...

I think it is awesome that you let everyone know exactly what you went through to get to this point! Your co-worker may have really had no idea what IVF even entailed, so she may not have had a clue what you were talking about. Don't let it bother you!

I love the shirt/onesie! I ordered one today that says, "I was frozen once" hahaha :)