Olive, no martini please:-)

Well...we made it to week NINE. In my head, getting to this point has been somewhat of a mental struggle. To me, nine weeks seems pregnant...not just "a little pregnant" but really and truly pregnant. I've been looking forward to/dreading (if we didn't make it) this date, since we found out. I feel like now, people won't roll their eyes if I happen to tell them how far along I am. Actually, the fact that I can even state "how far along I am" freaks me out. Will I EVER believe that this is happening???

I still have an upset stomach, but with the exception of Tues night everything is staying down. I've been MUCH more tired suddenly. I love to sleep, so you wouldn't think that would be a problem for me, but things are starting to pile up at home.

McBaby has graduated to green olive status this week:-)

Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!

A little reassurance!!

Guess what???!! I threw up last night. WOOHOO!!!!! Never have a been so happy to be so sick:-) See? This is what a sick-O I am.

The nauseau was actually better yesterday (and today so far), so I was shocked to get sick. But I'll take it!!! And the spotting is staying away. In one of my books, it has this great table for symptoms/problems and the appropriate time to call/inform the dr. For spotting that lasted less than a day, it said to inform doc at next appt. That relieved me too...it is obviously very common, but when it happens to me...well that is a different story.

Only 48 hours till my appointment. Please oh please let that little heart still be beating strong.

spotting.........

You have got to be kidding me. Really and truly kidding.

I am spotting. Of course Dr. K office closes early on Tuesday so I couldn't talk to anyone there. I called OB and nurse said it is more than likely b/c of the internal u/s yesterday. I'm not cramping so that is a good sign. I told her h/b looked good yesterday, and Dr. K said she saw no reason to worry.

First OB appt is Friday, so I asked if I could get an u/s to ease my mind. They had already told me I wouldn't get one, since Dr. K had already been able to date the pregnancy. Apparently the abdominal u/s machine isn't in the office on Friday? WTH is up with that? She did say that if
Dr. S (OB) couldn't find fetal heart tones wiht the doppler then she would do another internal u/s. Apparently that isn't ideal though b/c if it is the dildo-cam that is irritating my cervix than they don't want to re-irritate.

I'm not horribly worried about it, b/c the rational side of me has heard stories of spotting after u/s many many times. Plus, it's not completely uncommon to spot during the first trimester anyway.

WHY ME? Can't I PLEASE get a free pass? I think I have earned that.

"your baby looks good!"

That's what the u/s tech said when the dildo-cam went in. She reassured me, then went about her business of checking ovaries and all that good stuff. Then we got back to the baby and she spent a little time zooming in so we could get a "good" look.

McBaby looked like a gummy bear today (a rather cute one if I do say so myself). Heart was beating 177 bpm. About 3/4 inch long. Perfect:-)

Then came the appt I've been dreading...our last appt with Dr. K. First, she was ECSTATIC for us. She was at the last appt too, but I could tell she was really holding in her excitement, since we all know things can go wrong. She asked who I would be seeing (meaning OB), and I just put my face in my hands and started crying. I suppose I was crying for 2 reasons, 1) that we are "done" with her, and 2) (most importantly) that we're actually at the point where I can be considered "normal". I keep using the word surreal, and that's still truly the way it feels. We've worked so hard to get to this point, and now it's here, and I have no idea how to handle it. Poor Dan rotates b/t being super excited and super cautious. According to his book this is normal:-)

I still have a hard time admitting I'm pregnant. To say it out loud feels like a lie, like I'm a big fake. I was at Home De.pot yesterday and bought some charcoal. The bag was almost 50 pounds and there was no way I was going to try and lift it. I found someone to help (who looked exactly like Amer.ican Idol.s Ada.m La.mbert, btw...I wanted to say something but thought it would be rude if that's not the look he was going for). Anyway, I asked him to help lift it for me, but just couldn't get the "I'm pregnant" words out of my mouth. You'd think I'd be shouting it from the rooftops, but not so much. I feel like a phony.

Back to Dr. K...she said I could call anytime, and she expects us to stop by with baby next winter. I hugged her, thanked her (getting teary just thinking about it), and that was it.

First OB appt is Friday morning!!!

Where are the pictures???

I got a fun package on Friday!!! Catina had 3 pregnancy/baby related books shipped to me via Am.azon. 1) Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy, 2) So that's what they are for??, and 3) Happiest Baby on the Block. She is a new mom, and was going to loan her copies to me, but thought I needed my own:-)

"So that's what they are for" is all about breast feeding. Dan's first comment as he was leafing through it was "where are the pictures." Lovely. I'm happy he's interested though:-)

Symptoms wise...nauseau is kicking me butt. No puking yet, but getting in the car in the morning has been an adventure. The motion sickness is just horrid. Think I might start carrying a bag around with me.

Our 2nd u/s is tomorrow. I'd be lying if I said I'm not worried, but I am definately more NOT worried, than worried. There is always a chance that there won't be a heartbeat. For those that have researched m/c, it's not as irrational a thought as it seems. Heartbeats stop all the time between u/s. My continued symptoms are keeping me positive.

Raspberrry and a brick

First the good news!!!

Week 8: Raspberry

Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

Yay for a raspberry:-)

Now, the "brick" part...I feel like poo-poo. I've been trudging along the last 10 days or so, feeling fairly ok. Like I've said before, I tend to get nauseaus in the afternoon. That has started scooting up earlier in the day. Today, I got out of bed, felt fine, walked Sierra. While in the shower I started feeling a little dizzy, but was ok. Once out of the shower, I leaned over to wrap my hair in a towel and the room started spinning. I said Oh God or something like that and ran to the bathroom, just in case. Nothing came up, but the room was still spinning. I managed to get dressed, eat a bagel and get to work. I still feel like poo. Extremely light-headed.

Just talked to Dr. K's nurse. She wants me to come by and have my BP checked today. My BP is on the low side normally, so they want to make sure it is ok.

That's my story. Me and little raspberry are just truckin' along:-)

Slacker!

Sorry for slacking! I've gotten several e-mails over the past few days, wanting to know if things are ok since I haven't been blogging. The answer is YES, although I've unfortunately had no motivation to do much of anything:-) Things seem to be progressing. My nauseau is becoming more constant; I still feel the best in the early morning. Around 10 am in starts kicking in. I still haven't gotten sick, but it seems like the only thing to make it go away is to eat:-/.

Carbs are my best friend. Fries, bagels, pasta, you name it. I had 2 orders of fries yesterday, at 2 different restaurants, and just got back from lunch at McDonalds. Yum-O:-)

I'm feeling extra tired too...I'm a sleepaholic as it is, so the fatigue is a bit out of control.

Our 2nd u/s is a week from today. We are just praying that all looks good.

And we got our first baby gifts this weekend!!!!! Kelly, Sara and I went out for lunch on Sunday. Kelly brought me a cute little pack of bibs and a J & J starter kit. It was kind of an out of body experience opening it. Like, wow, this is for me, people are giving us stuff for baby!!
And, Andrea, a Nestie friend sent me an adorable journal and book for Dan, The Expectant Father. He actually openend it, and read some. You better believe I got a picture of that!!

Blueberry!!!

7 weeks today:-) I think Thursday is going to become my favorite day of the week. I don't look ahead to the next week (b/c I am superstitious), so it's fun to see what the week brings.

Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

I've been having a horrible time sleeping. I'm exhausted after work, but when I try to wind down to go to bed, I can't sleep. It's horrible. I can feel my heart racing. All I want is a good nights sleep and I can't get it.

I've been feeling nauseus in the evening, but today is the first day that it's hit me mid-morning. Horrible, icky, flu-like stomach churning. Yuck. But, it's reassuring. After all, we paid top $$$ for me to feel like crap, so bring it on:-)

Oh, and our 2nd (and final, hopefully) u/s with Dr. K is April 27. If all looks and sounds good...she'll release me to my regular doctor. I'm not ready to be a normal pregnant person who only gets an u/s at 20 weeks. I am so low-maintainance in every other aspect of my life, but not this. I hope my doctor can handle me!

One sweet little heartbeat:-)

It's official!!! Well, I guess it was official last week...but as of this morning we saw a sweet little beating heart. Yes, just one...it looked and measured perfectly, sac, yolk sac and embryo. We also got to HEAR the heartbeat. There are no words:-) It was beating 122bpm.

The official due date is December 3. Our next u/s is in two weeks. If all goes well then, we'll be released to a regular OB. I can't imagine being a normal pregant person. It's still surreal.

It seems like everyone is a bit disapointed that there is just one, except us. Our goal all along was one healthy baby, and so far that's what we've got. We couldn't be happier.

Here's the 1st u/s picture:-)

Sweet Pea!!!

This is what is growing inside of me right now:-) I think it's weird that they call it a baby at this stage, when it is actually still an embryo. But maybe that is denial or self-preservation coming out in me.

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

Dan did NOT earn brownie points last night. We briefly talked about what we would see at the u/s. I told him we may not see a heartbeat yet, but that doesn't mean when we go back a week later we won't see one. Then he said, "or we might see nothing." Me: "um, yes I know that."

Him: "No, I don't think you get it, we might see NOTHING."

YES, A-hole, I get it. There might not be anything there. Thank you for that comforting thought. That is HIS effort at self-preservation (or most likely denial).

I am starting to get really bloating in the evening. Then, when I wake up, it's all gone. Very weird. It means my pants get more uncomfortable as the day goes on. AND, I had lightening boobs last night. So far, I've had no issue/pain/discomfort with this particular aread, but before bed last night it felt like lightening bolts were striking! It didn't hurt, it was just weird.

ETA: I'm really not happy my paragraphs aren't separated!

Sex and Tums

Sounds like the latest country song, huh?? I was just informed by Dan that these are the two questions he has for Dr. K next week...sex and Tums. 1) When can we have sex, and 2) Are Tums ok?

I find it funny that neither of us have been interested in sex, after all the baby making sex that was required (and never worked). And now, suddenly, b/c it's "off limits" Dan is ready to go. Psychological? I think so! We haven't been able to have sex since the day of the ET, doctor's orders. Honestly, even if she ok's it, I'm going to be petrified. Scared to death. We've come so far I don't want to risk anything. Rationally, I *know* it should be ok...but still.

I mentioned my acid reflux and digestive stuff a few days ago. Tums makes it go away. I've heard from so many people it's ok to take (and it's not like I'm eating them like candy), but this is Dan's concern, that they are not good for growing embryo. It's nice to know he cares:-)

Beta #3 :-)

I have been on pins and needles since 11 am, expecting the call by 11:30. They JUST called a few minutes ago and I almost peed on myself when the phone rang.

Beta #3 at 22dp3dt (or about 25dpo) is 4157!!!! The secretary who called said it was very, very, very, good news:-)

I just looked up the numbers on betabase, and it still seems in line for a singleton, but I really didn't expect such a high jump b/t last Thursday and today.

First u/s is next Monday, which is Dan's birthday. I'm so happy it falls on that day, but scared at the same time. Three years ago on his birthday, we found out about our miscarriage. I hope this one brings us better luck:-)

I've been having some symptoms. I've had weird digestive stuff going on, like acid reflux and some heartburn. I can feel the nauseau starting, but so far so good.

I am officially 5 weeks, 4 days PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going there...

Because it's Friday, and I'm happy...and because the people who know me already know what a loon I really am...I looked up my potential due date. I've decided to just be happy about this, and with where I am right now, and grateful for every day that I remain pregnant. It's still incredibly hard to wrap my head around the idea. I've decided to not wait for the other shoe to drop.

If this pregnancy goes well, with a singleton, I would be due on Dec 2. If it's twins, you can shave off about 4 weeks from that date. Despite my numbers, which put me right in the middle of "normal" for a singleton, I still have a small feeling there might be two. I've thought that all along. We'll see...

They date IVF pregnancies from the day of egg retrieval, which is essentionally ovulation day (although you don't O with IVF, they go in and get them before you can).

According to the calculator, baby's little heart could start beating tomorrow. OMGoodness. I am just completely overwhelmed with the idea that I have a little life growing inside me. After 4 years, it is completely surreal.

Dan is so so happy. Partly because we FINALLY did it, and partly because I know he wants this so much. He's so excited about seeing the u/s. I think then it will finally seem real to him. We'll have tangible proof that it finally worked!!!

A sigh of relief...

My 2nd beta, at 18dp3dt, came back at 731!!!!!!!!!! That's a doubling time of 31 hours, when they expect it to double every 48-72 hours. I think I've got a little fighter in there:-)

I am ecstactic. I am finally excited. I am close to tears, I can feel them brewing right now.

OMG!!!!!!

I will get a 3rd beta on Monday (when I was supposed to have my 2nd). If all looks good, they will schedule an u/s for 7 days later.

OMG. I can't imagine actually having a dildo-cam appt, for something other than a follicle check!!!!!!!!!!!