I have NEVER experienced anything like this before. I don't understand, lol! Last night, I got in bed and I realized I was starving. Not the "ohhh, maybe I should get some ice cream or a snack before bed," but outright stomach ROARING. Really? Dan brought me a hard boiled egg, and that curbed the hunger enough. But how could my stomach go from STARVING to satisfied with just one egg?
Today, I had a huge bowl of cereal for breakfast, and at 10:30 I was starving again. I went to Taco Bell, and now (at 3:20) I am starving AGAIN.
I am going to be one of those women rooting through the fridge at 2 in the morning. I always thought the constant eaters during the first tri where the ones that were just using pregancy as an excuse to eat. I am not, I swear. The longer I go without food the sicker I feel. If I eat a big meal, I am hungry an hour later. Where does it go????
Last night, I asked Dan to get me a block of cheddar cheese at the grocery. He asked "for what?" and I had to say, just because I want to eat it! Not a craving really, but it just seems easy for those times that I go from full to starving in a matter of minutes.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
horror stories and nosy people...
Dan met a couple with 7 month old twins at the hockey game on Saturday night. He HAD to introduce me, so off we went. I must say these two were cutie-patooties, one each being worn on mom and dad's chest. So sweet. They were originally pregnant with triplets, but the identical twin to the boy didn't make it out of the first trimester.
Enter my first twin horror story...mom said she gave birth at 36w5d, which is SO great. Then, she went on to say that the pregnancy caused her 64 pounds, 3 cracked ribs, HELPP, and the start of liver failure. She was induced the day after they found out about liver failure! There was one other horrible thing that happened to her, but I must have only been able to keep so much of her story in my head, b/c I can't remember it.
Yikes. Nice. Need to hear that!
I was out having lunch with two co-workers today, both of whom are pregnant. One is 18 weeks, the other is 21 weeks. We talked all things pregnancy, and it was fun. One of my co-workers asked to see the dessert tray. The ladies at the table next to us were getting up as the server brought over the tray. The lady at the next table(STRANGER!) looked at me at said "you're having twins, eat whatever dessert you want."
I just looked at her! I mean, I am a nosy nelly, and often quite enjoy listening to other peoples conversations but would NEVER openly admit I was eavesdropping. Seriously???
Enter my first twin horror story...mom said she gave birth at 36w5d, which is SO great. Then, she went on to say that the pregnancy caused her 64 pounds, 3 cracked ribs, HELPP, and the start of liver failure. She was induced the day after they found out about liver failure! There was one other horrible thing that happened to her, but I must have only been able to keep so much of her story in my head, b/c I can't remember it.
Yikes. Nice. Need to hear that!
I was out having lunch with two co-workers today, both of whom are pregnant. One is 18 weeks, the other is 21 weeks. We talked all things pregnancy, and it was fun. One of my co-workers asked to see the dessert tray. The ladies at the table next to us were getting up as the server brought over the tray. The lady at the next table(STRANGER!) looked at me at said "you're having twins, eat whatever dessert you want."
I just looked at her! I mean, I am a nosy nelly, and often quite enjoy listening to other peoples conversations but would NEVER openly admit I was eavesdropping. Seriously???
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sophia fun:)
I'm working on teaching Sophie some basic body parts. This is what she does when you ask her where her nose is:)
Sophie and I met a new friend and her son at the park on Sunday. SHe was more into the leaves than the swings/slides. I love this picture of her, she is just so INTO the leaves:)
My 'lil gansta girl has taken to wearing my baseball caps.
Sophie and I met a new friend and her son at the park on Sunday. SHe was more into the leaves than the swings/slides. I love this picture of her, she is just so INTO the leaves:)
My 'lil gansta girl has taken to wearing my baseball caps.
catching up
It's been a while since I posted, but all is going well. I'm just stressed. Let's start with the good stuff though:)
Is it possible to love Sophie more and more each day? I didn't think so. I thought I maxed out on my love for her the day she was born, but she continues to do things that just melt my heart, and seems to make it grow wider every day. She gives me hugs now. LOVE. If I'm holding her, and ask for a hug, she'll just snuggle her little head onto my chest and hold on for dear life:) She attacked me with kisses last night, both (attempted) puckered and open mouth:) It ended with my face covered in slobber but I didn't care. I was playing with her a few nights ago and she was in a mood to pull clothes out of her drawer. She kept hitting me with them as she pulled them out. I said "ow" because a button or something scratched my face. She immediately stopped what she was doing, sat down and put her head in my lap. I guess it was her I'm sorry. She resumes the clothes tossing and hit me again. I said "ow" again, and I got another "apology." :)
Things seem to be progressing in McBaby land as well. Next u/s is on Monday, but I continue to feel sick, so I'm taking reassurance in that. I'm still having a hard time (and the guilt to go with it) of processing what is happening.
I'm contemplating starting Sophie in day care 2 days a week, starting this summer. She REALLY needs to get out and socialize more. She's at the point where she identifies kids/babies and knows they are "like" her. I want to get the daycare started before babies arrive, so I'm thinking July-ish. I feel guilt about this too, but honestly, I had planned to get her in daycare around the 2 year mark anyway, so this is just starting a bit earlier.
We had 5 condo showings in 3 days, with no takers. I'm not upset, as all but one of the feedbacks we received was good, but time is ticking. I just wish we could move and get settled sooner rather than later.
The house we LOVED is now sold:( Dan and I are arguing over where to look. He's resistant to looking anywhere except one particular area, but with twins on the way, we now want/need more house for less money. Something is going to have to give.
I hope it's not my sanity.
Is it possible to love Sophie more and more each day? I didn't think so. I thought I maxed out on my love for her the day she was born, but she continues to do things that just melt my heart, and seems to make it grow wider every day. She gives me hugs now. LOVE. If I'm holding her, and ask for a hug, she'll just snuggle her little head onto my chest and hold on for dear life:) She attacked me with kisses last night, both (attempted) puckered and open mouth:) It ended with my face covered in slobber but I didn't care. I was playing with her a few nights ago and she was in a mood to pull clothes out of her drawer. She kept hitting me with them as she pulled them out. I said "ow" because a button or something scratched my face. She immediately stopped what she was doing, sat down and put her head in my lap. I guess it was her I'm sorry. She resumes the clothes tossing and hit me again. I said "ow" again, and I got another "apology." :)
Things seem to be progressing in McBaby land as well. Next u/s is on Monday, but I continue to feel sick, so I'm taking reassurance in that. I'm still having a hard time (and the guilt to go with it) of processing what is happening.
I'm contemplating starting Sophie in day care 2 days a week, starting this summer. She REALLY needs to get out and socialize more. She's at the point where she identifies kids/babies and knows they are "like" her. I want to get the daycare started before babies arrive, so I'm thinking July-ish. I feel guilt about this too, but honestly, I had planned to get her in daycare around the 2 year mark anyway, so this is just starting a bit earlier.
We had 5 condo showings in 3 days, with no takers. I'm not upset, as all but one of the feedbacks we received was good, but time is ticking. I just wish we could move and get settled sooner rather than later.
The house we LOVED is now sold:( Dan and I are arguing over where to look. He's resistant to looking anywhere except one particular area, but with twins on the way, we now want/need more house for less money. Something is going to have to give.
I hope it's not my sanity.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Meet McBabies #2 and #3
The u/s pictures were really not that great, and this pic of a pic is even less great. The tech (and she's fantastic) had a really hard time getting pics of them, especially one with both in the same shot. ALthough the uterus is so small at this point, about the size of my fist I think(??), they are camped out on opposite sides, getting some alone time before they are reduced to a studio size apartment;)
BUT...here they are...McBaby #2 and McBaby #3
Mentally, I'm doing better today. I think. Thanks so much for all the nice e-mails, they are greatly appreciated:) Physically, I almost puked this morning. I had that stomach is rolling and better get to the bathroom asap. But, it went away. Dr. K gave me a script for Zofran. It definately helps, although doesn't take away all the nauseau.
Dan continues to tell people. He'll say "oh, so and so said this." I then confirm that he told them. I can't be upset about it. It's his news too. And quite honestly, I'd love to shout it from the rooftops, I'm just afraid of something going wrong. Vanishing twins are quite common.
BUT...here they are...McBaby #2 and McBaby #3
Mentally, I'm doing better today. I think. Thanks so much for all the nice e-mails, they are greatly appreciated:) Physically, I almost puked this morning. I had that stomach is rolling and better get to the bathroom asap. But, it went away. Dr. K gave me a script for Zofran. It definately helps, although doesn't take away all the nauseau.
Dan continues to tell people. He'll say "oh, so and so said this." I then confirm that he told them. I can't be upset about it. It's his news too. And quite honestly, I'd love to shout it from the rooftops, I'm just afraid of something going wrong. Vanishing twins are quite common.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A few more details...
I realize I was pretty to the point again yesterday. I just felt (and still feel) so wound up, I can't relax, my mind is racing and it won't slow down enough for me to catch a thought.
For starters, I stopped taking my Prozac. It's ironic the similarities between my pregnancy with Sophia and this one. I used up the last of my pills just as I found out I was pregnant, and never refilled until after my pp appt. THis time, I think I need to keep taking it. I hate to, but better a less-stressed me than some raging hormonal lunatic. I don't know. I'm definately going to fill it, and at least have it if I need it. I've been about 4 days without it so far, and I can tell the difference.
No more spotting thankfully. I swear, prior to them calling me back yesterday I was pacing the waiting room like a caged animal. I could not sit still. I needed to be active so my body was keeping up with my mind.
Once back in the u/s room, Dan sat down and held SOphie. I had planned on taking my camera to video everything, but once the spotting started, I knew there was no way I was going to video it, if something bad really was going on in there. From him, I heard "Oh my God" and "holy crap." :)
He left the u/s room showing all the staff the pictures. Bragging. He was SO excited. We took the elevator down with another couple that had gotten good news. Twins for them also, on their first try. Dan was just chatting it up, so elated. I think I was silent, except for the obligatory congrats I'm so happy for you. Again, shock?
The entire u/s was very out of body. Once she determined there were 2 (and that hearts were beating), she zoomed in on each one and took measurements. They are currently about the size of a grain of rice:) We got to hear the heartbeat of each one. AMAZING. I'm still amazed that there are two beating hearts in my uterus. I'm still overwhelmed. Will this go away?
The tech searched and searched for the cause of the spotting and could find nothing. She then took us to meet with Dr K, who said "hello family of five." Again, overwhelmed. Woah. I never thought this would be me, be us.
Why am I so shocked? I don't get it. I just don't. I guess because the "good" stuff never happens to me? I'm not a lucky person, generally. I didn't expect this FET to work. Primarily, we did it because i didn't want to pay another annual fee for the storage of the embryos! I knew we would use them eventually, as I have serious issues with the idea of embryo destruction. If anything, we would have donated them to stem cell research, but I know it would have taken me a long time to come to terms with that. Not because they were ours, but because they were potential Sophia siblings.
I feel guilty that I'm not over the moon. I feel guilty for Sophia. I feel like I am stealing something from her (my love and attention). I feel like my wanting to get pregnant again can be taken that she is not enough for me. But she is is. She absolutely is.
Whoever is reading this must think that I have lost my mind. I hope I am not offending anyone, especially those that may still be trying to successfully have their first child. But it's what's going on right now, in my Prozac-less brain.
For starters, I stopped taking my Prozac. It's ironic the similarities between my pregnancy with Sophia and this one. I used up the last of my pills just as I found out I was pregnant, and never refilled until after my pp appt. THis time, I think I need to keep taking it. I hate to, but better a less-stressed me than some raging hormonal lunatic. I don't know. I'm definately going to fill it, and at least have it if I need it. I've been about 4 days without it so far, and I can tell the difference.
No more spotting thankfully. I swear, prior to them calling me back yesterday I was pacing the waiting room like a caged animal. I could not sit still. I needed to be active so my body was keeping up with my mind.
Once back in the u/s room, Dan sat down and held SOphie. I had planned on taking my camera to video everything, but once the spotting started, I knew there was no way I was going to video it, if something bad really was going on in there. From him, I heard "Oh my God" and "holy crap." :)
He left the u/s room showing all the staff the pictures. Bragging. He was SO excited. We took the elevator down with another couple that had gotten good news. Twins for them also, on their first try. Dan was just chatting it up, so elated. I think I was silent, except for the obligatory congrats I'm so happy for you. Again, shock?
The entire u/s was very out of body. Once she determined there were 2 (and that hearts were beating), she zoomed in on each one and took measurements. They are currently about the size of a grain of rice:) We got to hear the heartbeat of each one. AMAZING. I'm still amazed that there are two beating hearts in my uterus. I'm still overwhelmed. Will this go away?
The tech searched and searched for the cause of the spotting and could find nothing. She then took us to meet with Dr K, who said "hello family of five." Again, overwhelmed. Woah. I never thought this would be me, be us.
Why am I so shocked? I don't get it. I just don't. I guess because the "good" stuff never happens to me? I'm not a lucky person, generally. I didn't expect this FET to work. Primarily, we did it because i didn't want to pay another annual fee for the storage of the embryos! I knew we would use them eventually, as I have serious issues with the idea of embryo destruction. If anything, we would have donated them to stem cell research, but I know it would have taken me a long time to come to terms with that. Not because they were ours, but because they were potential Sophia siblings.
I feel guilty that I'm not over the moon. I feel guilty for Sophia. I feel like I am stealing something from her (my love and attention). I feel like my wanting to get pregnant again can be taken that she is not enough for me. But she is is. She absolutely is.
Whoever is reading this must think that I have lost my mind. I hope I am not offending anyone, especially those that may still be trying to successfully have their first child. But it's what's going on right now, in my Prozac-less brain.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
two
Well...there are indeed two little hearts beating away. HOLY SHIT. I'm sorry, that doesn't seem appropriate, but I'm in complete shock. Really. I mean, how did it take EIGHT embryos to make Sophie, and only three to make TWO more?
My world got rocked about 11 am today. I had an off-campus meeting at 11 am. I ran to the restroom prior, and I was spotting red. I freaked as much as I could, but I was running the meeting so I really had to keep it in check. I kept saying, "it's ok, you'll have an u/s in just a few hours and you can find out what's going on."
We get to Dr. K's office and the u/s tech was running WAY behind. I was PACING the waiting room. Dan and Sophie were with me. I couldn't even tell Dan about the spotting until right before they took us back, because I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. The second we were back in the u/s area I told the tech about the spotting. She asked what my levels were.
I got undressed, I got in the chair. I covered my eyes. I couldn't look. I didn't want to see anything bad. I couldn't get this far and have something bad happen. She finally said that "there are two reasons you might typically spot at this point. One is (and she used the acryonym for the common cause of spotting--generally some little area around the sac that is irritated and two, because there are multiple babies. You are having twins."
I was in shock. First, ecstatic that there was one healthy baby, and then pure SHOCK.
2 sacs, 2 heartbeats (one at 115 and the other at 122), measuring 6w2d. Everything looked perfect. SHe could not find the cause of the spotting.
Dr. K gave me the due date of Oct 9 (40 weeks) and Sept 11 (36 weeks)...I go back end of next week for another u/s and if all looks good she'll release me to my OB.
This is just so surreal. I never expected this to be me. We struggled so long to have one and now we might have THREE?!
I will take pics of the u/s pics and post them tonight:)
Dan keeps saying holy crap. I haven't made it to the excitement phase yet. I need to process.
My world got rocked about 11 am today. I had an off-campus meeting at 11 am. I ran to the restroom prior, and I was spotting red. I freaked as much as I could, but I was running the meeting so I really had to keep it in check. I kept saying, "it's ok, you'll have an u/s in just a few hours and you can find out what's going on."
We get to Dr. K's office and the u/s tech was running WAY behind. I was PACING the waiting room. Dan and Sophie were with me. I couldn't even tell Dan about the spotting until right before they took us back, because I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. The second we were back in the u/s area I told the tech about the spotting. She asked what my levels were.
I got undressed, I got in the chair. I covered my eyes. I couldn't look. I didn't want to see anything bad. I couldn't get this far and have something bad happen. She finally said that "there are two reasons you might typically spot at this point. One is (and she used the acryonym for the common cause of spotting--generally some little area around the sac that is irritated and two, because there are multiple babies. You are having twins."
I was in shock. First, ecstatic that there was one healthy baby, and then pure SHOCK.
2 sacs, 2 heartbeats (one at 115 and the other at 122), measuring 6w2d. Everything looked perfect. SHe could not find the cause of the spotting.
Dr. K gave me the due date of Oct 9 (40 weeks) and Sept 11 (36 weeks)...I go back end of next week for another u/s and if all looks good she'll release me to my OB.
This is just so surreal. I never expected this to be me. We struggled so long to have one and now we might have THREE?!
I will take pics of the u/s pics and post them tonight:)
Dan keeps saying holy crap. I haven't made it to the excitement phase yet. I need to process.
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