Sophia's first birthday has come and gone. We had a fun party, and lots of our favorite people were able to make it. I'll post pics when I can. For now, I just wanted to catch up with a post, since the time is FLYING.
Sophia's official stats are 22 pounds (60th percentile), 29 inches (40th percentile), and 95th percentile in head, lol. She's been really consistent in all of her measurements for this first year.
She is back to hating bathtime:( She won't even sit down. I have to bathe her, in the bathtub, with her standing up. She's still interested in the bathtub though. I caught her last night, peering over the side...so I put her in, and got in with her, and we played, with no water, lol. I thought I'd try a bit of desensitization. We'll see.
Also, she LOVES to point! It started a few days before her birthday, and she is pointing at everything. I'm also attempting a little bit of basic sign language (milk, water, sleep, eat, etc). She just looks at me like I'm an idiot.
BIG news is that our FET is on the books for January 21st!!!! This is assuming my period will start on Jan 2, so if it doesn't, it could be one week earlier/later. I ordered meds yesterday too, and they should be delivered next week. I can't believe we're doing this again. I found my notes from consult with Dr. K.
In the first half of 2010, there were 7 cycles in which embryos were 1) from an egg of a 30-34 year old, and 2) frozen with the vitrification method. Of those 7 cycles, there were 6 transfers; of those 6 transfers there were 5 pregnancies (83%!!); of those 5 pregnancies, there were 4 sets of twins (80%!!). Those are some darn good odds, so I'm trying to keep myself in check.
We are almost at the point of complete weaning. Sunday was the last night I nursed her at bedtime. So, it's been almost 48 hours total, and my boobs are NOT happy. There was some leaking this morning, but so far nothing else today. I came *this* close to giving in to her last night. She always falls asleep in our bed, and then I transfer her to her crib. I gave her a bottle and she didn't think twice about it, but then after she finished she got really whiny. I don't think it was b/c I didn't nurse her, I think it was more b/c she was so tired. But is was so hard to NOT give in, b/c I knew nursing her would put her right to sleep.
I'm having some pretty serious guilt about this entire thing. I need to remind myself that I had planned to wean at one year anyway.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
un-official stats for ONE year!!!
Well, the time is almost here for my baby girl to turn 1!! To be exact, 12:07 pm on December 5. Because I know this weekend is jam-packed, I thought I'd give Sophia's un-official stats a few days early.
1) size 3 diapers
2) 12-18 month clothes
3) EIGHT teeth!
4) SHe has discovered that drawers and cabinets open.
5) She delights in pulling things out of said drawers and cabinets, lol:)
6) She does not find it the least bit fun when the things she pulls out get put back in!
7) Sleeping overnight in her crib (finally!). She might wake up a time or two, but always goes back to sleep. I have NOT gone in to save her.
8) Falls asleep about 8:30, and sleeps until about 7 am.
9) Loves her glo-worm.
10)She gets one bottle of cows milk in the morning (4 oz). Otherwise she is still drinking breastmilk, whether fresh or frozen.
11) We're down to 2 nursing sessions. One when I get home from work and the other before she goes to bed. Next session to go (on Monday) is the one when I get home from work.
12) Loves to sleep on Dan's belly;)
13) Has found my belly button, and will point to it when I say "where is mamma's belly button."
13) Knows the term "wubby"...her Wubbanub (soothie).
14) She is as hot-blooded as her dad. SHe is a sweater, and fleece is not her friend.
15) SHe has my laid back personality. Not too much gets on her nerve.
16) She and Sierra and getting better at coexisting.
17) Stands on her own. I don't think walking is far behind.
18)Loves putting her toes in her mouth at diaper changes, assuming she is willing to stay on her back. I've had to change a few diapers later with her standing up.
19) SHe is intrigued by the fridge, and it's always a rush to get in/out before she can get there.
20) She eats. Alot. All the time.
21) She's starting to give kisses, which is more of an open mouthed saliva bath on my cheek. I adore her kisses:)
1) size 3 diapers
2) 12-18 month clothes
3) EIGHT teeth!
4) SHe has discovered that drawers and cabinets open.
5) She delights in pulling things out of said drawers and cabinets, lol:)
6) She does not find it the least bit fun when the things she pulls out get put back in!
7) Sleeping overnight in her crib (finally!). She might wake up a time or two, but always goes back to sleep. I have NOT gone in to save her.
8) Falls asleep about 8:30, and sleeps until about 7 am.
9) Loves her glo-worm.
10)She gets one bottle of cows milk in the morning (4 oz). Otherwise she is still drinking breastmilk, whether fresh or frozen.
11) We're down to 2 nursing sessions. One when I get home from work and the other before she goes to bed. Next session to go (on Monday) is the one when I get home from work.
12) Loves to sleep on Dan's belly;)
13) Has found my belly button, and will point to it when I say "where is mamma's belly button."
13) Knows the term "wubby"...her Wubbanub (soothie).
14) She is as hot-blooded as her dad. SHe is a sweater, and fleece is not her friend.
15) SHe has my laid back personality. Not too much gets on her nerve.
16) She and Sierra and getting better at coexisting.
17) Stands on her own. I don't think walking is far behind.
18)Loves putting her toes in her mouth at diaper changes, assuming she is willing to stay on her back. I've had to change a few diapers later with her standing up.
19) SHe is intrigued by the fridge, and it's always a rush to get in/out before she can get there.
20) She eats. Alot. All the time.
21) She's starting to give kisses, which is more of an open mouthed saliva bath on my cheek. I adore her kisses:)
Monday, November 29, 2010
cows milk, straight up
Well, one of my worries has been swept off the table. This weekend, I gave Sophie a bottle with cow's milk only. I was really afraid she was not going to drink it, but she sucked it down:)
This week starts my cutting out the pre-work nursing session. My boobs were already full when I left for work, lol, and right now they feel like rocks:) I don't think I can hold out much longer!! I gave her a bottle this morning, which I thought she might resist, but surprisingly she is fine with it. Then, just to give myself a little relief, i let her nurse for one minute on one side and then stopped her.
Her b-day party planning is about done. I ordered the cake today, and we just have a few little things left on the list. I cannot believe she is going to be one.
In honor of the holidays...
This week starts my cutting out the pre-work nursing session. My boobs were already full when I left for work, lol, and right now they feel like rocks:) I don't think I can hold out much longer!! I gave her a bottle this morning, which I thought she might resist, but surprisingly she is fine with it. Then, just to give myself a little relief, i let her nurse for one minute on one side and then stopped her.
Her b-day party planning is about done. I ordered the cake today, and we just have a few little things left on the list. I cannot believe she is going to be one.
In honor of the holidays...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
being thankful
I just got news that a pregnant co-worker lost her baby at 5 months, this past weekend. It hit me really hard, and I didn't even know her very well. She was showing, and SO excited to be pregnant:(
It just puts it into perspective for me how much of a miracle it really is to get, and stay pregnant. When I heard the news, I immediately went into questioning mode. She was here and worked late on Friday. At that time, she was still happily pregnant. But, something happened this weekend. What was it? Bleeding, contractions, what? Did she have an u/s on Saturday that told the bad news? She should have been feeling movement by this time. Did she go for awhile not feeling movement, and so went to the ER to get checked out? I hate that I am obsessing over this. I went back in my mind to our 20 week appt, when we found out that Sophie was a girl. What would have happened, how would our lives be different, if she had lost her heartbeat and we had found out that day?
How long would it have taken to get over it? WOuld we have tried again? COULD I have tried again?
I realize these are ridiculous questions, and most definately not a path I should travel down mentally for very long.
My heart goes out to A, and her family.
It just puts it into perspective for me how much of a miracle it really is to get, and stay pregnant. When I heard the news, I immediately went into questioning mode. She was here and worked late on Friday. At that time, she was still happily pregnant. But, something happened this weekend. What was it? Bleeding, contractions, what? Did she have an u/s on Saturday that told the bad news? She should have been feeling movement by this time. Did she go for awhile not feeling movement, and so went to the ER to get checked out? I hate that I am obsessing over this. I went back in my mind to our 20 week appt, when we found out that Sophie was a girl. What would have happened, how would our lives be different, if she had lost her heartbeat and we had found out that day?
How long would it have taken to get over it? WOuld we have tried again? COULD I have tried again?
I realize these are ridiculous questions, and most definately not a path I should travel down mentally for very long.
My heart goes out to A, and her family.
Monday, November 22, 2010
weaning, sleeping and bathtime oh my!
Weaning is...going, I guess. The first week of not pumping was successful. However, sitting at work on Friday, I realized we don't have enough frozen breastmilk to make it to the one year mark. I called the pedi nurse and got the ok to start mixing cows milk in with the breastmilk, which we started on Sunday. It didn't go so well, but that could also be because it was the first bottle I've given to her in months. She was less than thrilled, lol, and only ate about 50% of it. Which of course upset me, b/c there went 4 oz of breastmilk down the drain:(
I was planning on giving it until Thursday to cut another session. BUT, this morning I fed her at 5 am so decided to go with it, and not feed her again before I left for work. It was SUCH the decision for me. I kept going back and forth, but ultimately decided to leave without feeding her. BTW, thanks to lots of advice, I opted to make the next session to be cut out the before work feeding, as opposed to the before bed feeding. Often, I feel like I force her to eat in the morning. Not really force, b/c she doesn't complain, but she also can take it or leave it. So, this morning we left it. It was hard for me to not have that time with her before work though:( dislike.
Sleeping...is also going. Friday night she woke me up crying in her crib. I was in the DEEPEST sleep and honestly thought it was 4 or 5 in the morning. I thought "wow, she did really well" and went to get her, only to look at the clock in her room and see that it was only 11:50. But, I was in her room already, and there was no going back, so into our bed she went. Saturday night was better. Last night, she cried alot, but I hung in and she finally slept until 5 am:(
Bathtime...has taken an upturn. For the past 6 weeks or so, it's been like pulling teeth to put her in the bath. She was so resistant that I finally started trying to bathe her in the kitchen sink, because at least then I could stand and be more comfortable while trying to fight her tantrum. Finally, last week, I got in the tub with her. She was very cautious, but she sat on my lap and we played and we splashed and she *almost* had fun. Since then, I've found her several times just hanging out, looking in the tub. Last night, I opted to give her a bath, even though she didn't need one, just to keep her interested (and happy) with bathtime. So, it looks as if we've beat this issue:)
I was planning on giving it until Thursday to cut another session. BUT, this morning I fed her at 5 am so decided to go with it, and not feed her again before I left for work. It was SUCH the decision for me. I kept going back and forth, but ultimately decided to leave without feeding her. BTW, thanks to lots of advice, I opted to make the next session to be cut out the before work feeding, as opposed to the before bed feeding. Often, I feel like I force her to eat in the morning. Not really force, b/c she doesn't complain, but she also can take it or leave it. So, this morning we left it. It was hard for me to not have that time with her before work though:( dislike.
Sleeping...is also going. Friday night she woke me up crying in her crib. I was in the DEEPEST sleep and honestly thought it was 4 or 5 in the morning. I thought "wow, she did really well" and went to get her, only to look at the clock in her room and see that it was only 11:50. But, I was in her room already, and there was no going back, so into our bed she went. Saturday night was better. Last night, she cried alot, but I hung in and she finally slept until 5 am:(
Bathtime...has taken an upturn. For the past 6 weeks or so, it's been like pulling teeth to put her in the bath. She was so resistant that I finally started trying to bathe her in the kitchen sink, because at least then I could stand and be more comfortable while trying to fight her tantrum. Finally, last week, I got in the tub with her. She was very cautious, but she sat on my lap and we played and we splashed and she *almost* had fun. Since then, I've found her several times just hanging out, looking in the tub. Last night, I opted to give her a bath, even though she didn't need one, just to keep her interested (and happy) with bathtime. So, it looks as if we've beat this issue:)
Friday, November 19, 2010
crying it out...
To update about weaning...so far, cutting out this first session has been ok. 2 days ago, I went 12 hours though, and that was a bit rough on the girls, but I made it home and Sophia was able to give me some relief, lol.
I need to talk about about her overnight sleeping. Up until my sisters wedding about 6 weeks ago, we were totally in the groove. I'd successfully moved her bedtime to 9ish (from 10ish), and it was working well for us. Then, we spent 2 days in a hotel, with lots of new hands holding her, and it all went to hell. Since then, she sleeps in bed with us more often than she doesn't. I've finally gotten to the point that I let her fall asleep in our bed, and then (attempt to) move her to her crib. This typically results in her screaming about 5 minutes after I put her down, to which I respond by picking her up again and putting her back in our bed. We do this cycle 2-3times before I give up and just let her sleep in our bed.
I KNOW it's just about comfort. Seriously, once I pick her up and she knows she's on the way back to our bed, she's asleep before her head hits the bed.
I do LOVE her to sleep next to me, but this also feeds into comfort nursing in the middle of the night. Lately, she has wanted to nurse up to 3 times each night. It's fine, BUT, I know she's not hungry, and quite honestly it is tiring. Not her actual nursing, but waking up, falling asleep, same thing 2 hours later. Each night, I tell myself this has got to stop. THis is NOT going to be good for weaning.
So last night, I laid down the law. When I got home I told Dan "I'm going to let Sophie cry tonight. I don't know how long I will last, but I need you to be supportive of whatever I decide. I don't need your physical help, but I do need your emotional support so no sighing, foot-tapping, hand-patting on the chair to let me know in your passive aggresive way that you on not happy." He said ok, and that was that.
Fastforward to bedtime. She finally fell asleep in our bed, after nursing, at about 9:45. I put her in her crib at 10:10, and the crying started about 5 minutes later. She cried for 20 minutes. I wanted to give in. I really did. The only thing that stopped me was the realization that if she comes back to our bed, I will once again not get a solid night's sleep, not to mention the weaning aspect. Plus, I kept remembering people telling me "if you give in and go get her, you're going to have to go this long, plus more time, next time you try it." That alone was reason to not give in. And, the thought of my letting her cry like this was possibly scarring her for life also entered my mind a few times. As I was going back and forth in my mind, she stopped. Silence. For a second I wondered if she was dead, and that I realized how ridulous that thought was. I started to drift off, and then the crying started again. Slightly louder. She cried for another 10 minutes and then silence again. And that was that.
I must confess that I had a glass of wine before this ordeal started. Because I knew it would be an ordeal. It did make it slightly better, I guess. Is it horrible of me that I didn't find her crying completely heart-breaking? I mean, it was obvious she wasn't in pain. Her decibel level did get up there a few times, but for the most part it was a "why isn't anyone paying attention to me" cry.
She did wake up one time in the middle of the night, but I must have been exhausted b/c I barely heard her, which means I did NOT go get her. She woke up on her own at 7, ready to nurse, and then right back to sleep:)
So, I don't think there's any permanent damage done!
I need to talk about about her overnight sleeping. Up until my sisters wedding about 6 weeks ago, we were totally in the groove. I'd successfully moved her bedtime to 9ish (from 10ish), and it was working well for us. Then, we spent 2 days in a hotel, with lots of new hands holding her, and it all went to hell. Since then, she sleeps in bed with us more often than she doesn't. I've finally gotten to the point that I let her fall asleep in our bed, and then (attempt to) move her to her crib. This typically results in her screaming about 5 minutes after I put her down, to which I respond by picking her up again and putting her back in our bed. We do this cycle 2-3times before I give up and just let her sleep in our bed.
I KNOW it's just about comfort. Seriously, once I pick her up and she knows she's on the way back to our bed, she's asleep before her head hits the bed.
I do LOVE her to sleep next to me, but this also feeds into comfort nursing in the middle of the night. Lately, she has wanted to nurse up to 3 times each night. It's fine, BUT, I know she's not hungry, and quite honestly it is tiring. Not her actual nursing, but waking up, falling asleep, same thing 2 hours later. Each night, I tell myself this has got to stop. THis is NOT going to be good for weaning.
So last night, I laid down the law. When I got home I told Dan "I'm going to let Sophie cry tonight. I don't know how long I will last, but I need you to be supportive of whatever I decide. I don't need your physical help, but I do need your emotional support so no sighing, foot-tapping, hand-patting on the chair to let me know in your passive aggresive way that you on not happy." He said ok, and that was that.
Fastforward to bedtime. She finally fell asleep in our bed, after nursing, at about 9:45. I put her in her crib at 10:10, and the crying started about 5 minutes later. She cried for 20 minutes. I wanted to give in. I really did. The only thing that stopped me was the realization that if she comes back to our bed, I will once again not get a solid night's sleep, not to mention the weaning aspect. Plus, I kept remembering people telling me "if you give in and go get her, you're going to have to go this long, plus more time, next time you try it." That alone was reason to not give in. And, the thought of my letting her cry like this was possibly scarring her for life also entered my mind a few times. As I was going back and forth in my mind, she stopped. Silence. For a second I wondered if she was dead, and that I realized how ridulous that thought was. I started to drift off, and then the crying started again. Slightly louder. She cried for another 10 minutes and then silence again. And that was that.
I must confess that I had a glass of wine before this ordeal started. Because I knew it would be an ordeal. It did make it slightly better, I guess. Is it horrible of me that I didn't find her crying completely heart-breaking? I mean, it was obvious she wasn't in pain. Her decibel level did get up there a few times, but for the most part it was a "why isn't anyone paying attention to me" cry.
She did wake up one time in the middle of the night, but I must have been exhausted b/c I barely heard her, which means I did NOT go get her. She woke up on her own at 7, ready to nurse, and then right back to sleep:)
So, I don't think there's any permanent damage done!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Project Weaning
The time has arrived. Today is my/our first day of weaning. It's pretty bittersweet to be at this point. I never in a million years thought that I would even WANT to breastfeed, let alone do it for over 11 months. I feel really good about, although a bit guilty about the weaning. I know that even if we weren't planning on a FET, I had planned to stop at 12 months. I just feel guilty that she is missing out on more, just b/c I am being selfish and want to try to have another baby.
I have stopped pumping at work (which allows me 10 minutes to write this post). Sophia obviously won't be affected by my stopping pumping, but my boobs sure are dreading it. I would say there have been a handful of times since returning to work that I forgot my pump/pump parts at home, and so couldn't pump. Let's just say I was thrilled when I got home. I'm assuming I'll start getting pretty uncomfortable about 3 pm.
I'm going to attempt to cut out 1 session every 7-10 days. Next week will be the before bed feeding, which generally happens around 9 pm. I am DREADING her reaction to it:(
Since there is sure to be lots of boob talk in the next few weeks, let's look at some fun pics today:)
Blurry, but I don't care. I love her little sausage arms. THis was Saturday, before bathtime:)
She loves cheese:) Until we got smart with cubed cheese, we were giving her shredded, which is what is all over her in this pic. Also, she is showing us her "touchdown" move:)
I have stopped pumping at work (which allows me 10 minutes to write this post). Sophia obviously won't be affected by my stopping pumping, but my boobs sure are dreading it. I would say there have been a handful of times since returning to work that I forgot my pump/pump parts at home, and so couldn't pump. Let's just say I was thrilled when I got home. I'm assuming I'll start getting pretty uncomfortable about 3 pm.
I'm going to attempt to cut out 1 session every 7-10 days. Next week will be the before bed feeding, which generally happens around 9 pm. I am DREADING her reaction to it:(
Since there is sure to be lots of boob talk in the next few weeks, let's look at some fun pics today:)
Blurry, but I don't care. I love her little sausage arms. THis was Saturday, before bathtime:)
She loves cheese:) Until we got smart with cubed cheese, we were giving her shredded, which is what is all over her in this pic. Also, she is showing us her "touchdown" move:)
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