throwing bananas

I need a serious reset. I am on the verge of being completely tapped out.

The twins have had a cold since their first round of flu shot, TWO weeks ago. Within a day, we were dealing with double doses of lovely green snot that just.wouldn't.stop. The snot isn't green anymore, and it's now more of a cough, so I'm hopeful that the end is near. Unfortunately, as theirs is ending, Sophie now has major sniffles. Cue the albuterol "every 4-6 hours until cold symptoms are gone."

The twins colds=less sleep than normal. They can't breathe well, they need to sit up, need to be held. So I hold them.

Additionally, I feel certain we have entered that lovely period that is Connor's molars. That poor guy had enough teething issues with the first eight, I cannot IMAGE how he will respond to the next four. And I cannot stand to think about how *I* will deal with his response.

For the last two weeks, it's been up and down most nights. Mostly up. Sometimes in the rocking chair, but more times that not on the couch, with whichever baby it is snuggled up against the back of the couch so I can hopefully sleep a bit without risk of them rolling off the couch. Because that WOULD happen to us.

Two nights ago I was up with Connor for 5 hours. Last night, it was Avery, which is unusual. We played the up-down game for over an hour. I would think she was asleep, I'd try to put her down and she could FEEL me try to put her down and start screaming and squirming. Up and down. Up and down. So, I held her. And then, Connor started going off. Clearly, I can only hold one child at a time, if I have any hope of either of them going to sleep. I yelled for Dan. I could yell for Dan, b/c I knew Sophie was still wide awake, playing with the Ipad that I was just hoping would run out of juice. Finally get Avery to sleep, try to rest myself but could hear Dan struggling with Connor. Took Connor, snuggled up on the couch, and he was out about 30 minutes later. Finally. It was after 11 by this time.

I realized I hadn't eaten dinner. I was too tired to eat dinner. I went to bed and woke up sometime in the night to Sophie whining in her little high pitched toddler voice "I need my wubby. Find my wubby." I snuggled up to her, gave her a teddy bear hoping that would stop the need for the freaking pacifier. It didn't, and I had  no idea WHERE the pacifier was. Luckily, it was next to the bed so that crisis was averted.

A few hours later, after about 5 hours of sleep (not bad, considering the previous nights), I snooze for an hour. I simply cannot get out of bed until I realize this is a daycare day for Sophie and I HAVE to get up. I swear, sometimes thinking that is the only thing that gets me out of bed.

Because I have no time (or desire) to iron, I ran downstairs this AM to throw my pants in the dryer. Noticed that the laundry that I had washed YESTERDAY before work, was still in the washer, still wet. It wouldn't have been so bad had this same scenario not played out the day before. So, I washed this SAME load of clothes for the THIRD time, and was on a mission to find Dan. I very directly asked him how he was home for EIGHT hours yesterday and couldn't find time to put the clothes in the dryer. Yes, I can be picky (and bitchy), but he knew I was right this time and didn't have a leg to stand on.

THEN, I look in the fridge to get my lunch for work. I had been planning on taking Chinese leftovers from two nights before. All I found was the rice. My garlic beef was missing. Again, very directly, I asked Dan where  my food was. Him: I might have eaten it. You WHAT? You ate MY food, that you told me ahead of time you wouldn't touch? I didn't even EAT last night and you are telling me you ate my food?

By this time I had made it over to the fruit basket, where I was pulling off a banana for Sophie. I threw the rest of the bananas across the dining room, knocking the fruit basket off the buffet, with apples flying everywhere. It made sense at the time;) Luckily, Sophie was behind our closed bedroom door, oblivious to everything but Doc McStuffins.

This is when I realized I need a reset. I clearly am not my calm, cool, collected self. Just a bit of time, to sleep, read, even clean or organize. I've been a crappy employee this week. I have no motivation to work. I could nap at my desk right now, if only I had the option to close my door. I think I may take a day off tomorrow:)