Well...there are indeed two little hearts beating away. HOLY SHIT. I'm sorry, that doesn't seem appropriate, but I'm in complete shock. Really. I mean, how did it take EIGHT embryos to make Sophie, and only three to make TWO more?
My world got rocked about 11 am today. I had an off-campus meeting at 11 am. I ran to the restroom prior, and I was spotting red. I freaked as much as I could, but I was running the meeting so I really had to keep it in check. I kept saying, "it's ok, you'll have an u/s in just a few hours and you can find out what's going on."
We get to Dr. K's office and the u/s tech was running WAY behind. I was PACING the waiting room. Dan and Sophie were with me. I couldn't even tell Dan about the spotting until right before they took us back, because I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. The second we were back in the u/s area I told the tech about the spotting. She asked what my levels were.
I got undressed, I got in the chair. I covered my eyes. I couldn't look. I didn't want to see anything bad. I couldn't get this far and have something bad happen. She finally said that "there are two reasons you might typically spot at this point. One is (and she used the acryonym for the common cause of spotting--generally some little area around the sac that is irritated and two, because there are multiple babies. You are having twins."
I was in shock. First, ecstatic that there was one healthy baby, and then pure SHOCK.
2 sacs, 2 heartbeats (one at 115 and the other at 122), measuring 6w2d. Everything looked perfect. SHe could not find the cause of the spotting.
Dr. K gave me the due date of Oct 9 (40 weeks) and Sept 11 (36 weeks)...I go back end of next week for another u/s and if all looks good she'll release me to my OB.
This is just so surreal. I never expected this to be me. We struggled so long to have one and now we might have THREE?!
I will take pics of the u/s pics and post them tonight:)
Dan keeps saying holy crap. I haven't made it to the excitement phase yet. I need to process.
Showing posts with label FET #2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FET #2. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
poo-poo...
not in Sophie's diaper, but how I'm feeling.
The symptoms have slammed into me in the last few days. I go from ravenous one minute to ready to hurl the next. No hurling yet, though. I do not remember this from my pregnancy with Sophie. It's just this gross, constantly nauseous feeling. It's always there. Also, I am craving red meat. The more the better. Dan made steak last night, the day before I had roast beef for lunch, and the days before that Dan (at my suggestion), made corned beef. Nothing else sounds good.
I'm tired, going to bed early each night, grateful that Sophie adjusted her own bedtime a few weeks ago so she's usually in bed by 8ish. After that, it's lights out for me.
Ultrasound is Tuesday at 12:40. I asked if that was too early, and she said no, anytime next week is fine. I just checked my blog post from Sophie's first u/s. At that time, I was 6w4d, measuring 6w2d. So, if I am measuring right on this time, my guess is that we should see something similar to what we saw with her. And, I forgot that you can see the heartbeat that early...hers was beating away at 122 bpm:)
The symptoms have slammed into me in the last few days. I go from ravenous one minute to ready to hurl the next. No hurling yet, though. I do not remember this from my pregnancy with Sophie. It's just this gross, constantly nauseous feeling. It's always there. Also, I am craving red meat. The more the better. Dan made steak last night, the day before I had roast beef for lunch, and the days before that Dan (at my suggestion), made corned beef. Nothing else sounds good.
I'm tired, going to bed early each night, grateful that Sophie adjusted her own bedtime a few weeks ago so she's usually in bed by 8ish. After that, it's lights out for me.
Ultrasound is Tuesday at 12:40. I asked if that was too early, and she said no, anytime next week is fine. I just checked my blog post from Sophie's first u/s. At that time, I was 6w4d, measuring 6w2d. So, if I am measuring right on this time, my guess is that we should see something similar to what we saw with her. And, I forgot that you can see the heartbeat that early...hers was beating away at 122 bpm:)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
8176
is beta number two, at 19dp5dFET (24 dpo). Can I say it again? 8176. Yes, this is what I was looking for in the way of being able to relax. Now, I will relax, for a bit:)
Of course, I checked out betabase. At this point, it's looking on the high end for singeton, and pretty much on track for twins. Holy shit.
I can't tell Dan, b/c Sophie dropped his phone in the toilet this morning and fried it. My only hope is if I can catch him on FB and IM him. Otherwise, he won't know until 5 pm. Probably better that way, lol:)
Now, I'm waiting on the secretary to call me to schedule the u/s for next week. O.M.G.
That's all for today:)
Of course, I checked out betabase. At this point, it's looking on the high end for singeton, and pretty much on track for twins. Holy shit.
I can't tell Dan, b/c Sophie dropped his phone in the toilet this morning and fried it. My only hope is if I can catch him on FB and IM him. Otherwise, he won't know until 5 pm. Probably better that way, lol:)
Now, I'm waiting on the secretary to call me to schedule the u/s for next week. O.M.G.
That's all for today:)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Meet the embryos
Here they are! I had to take a picture of them, since I couldn't get the scanner to work right. You probably need to click on the picture to get a better view.
The one on the right is the "good" one. The one on the bottom is the one that Dr. K said she could see the placenta forming (around the 11 to 1 o'clock range). In the two that were not so great, you can see the necrotic cells, they look pitted.
So, which one(s) stuck? Tomorrow is beta #2. I swear, this 6 day wait has been much harder than the 12 day wait to get the first beta. At least then I could appease myself with home tests. Now, if I were to take a test of course it would be positive, b/c my beta is so high, but it's not necessarily indicative of a healthy pregnancy.
If my math is right, beta needs to come back tomorrow at least 4000. This would be a doubling time of 36 hours. On the higher end, 48 hour doubling time, it would be closer to the 8000 range. All I ask is for a solid doubling, plus some. I don't want to have to worry for the next week that "yes it doubled, but it's low." I want a solid doubling, giving me no reason to think that things aren't going as they should.
The weekend was tough. I wasn't feeling much, except more sleepy. But, we got in the car to head to a Superbowl party and I started getting car sick. I had this symptom with Sophie also, so that was reassuring. Otherwise, still not much of anything. Nausea that comes and goes, no boob pain whatsoever. Yesterday, I was sitting in a meeting and had this single instance of a streak of pain across my abdomen. Not sure what that was? The dull achy crampy feeling continues to be on and off as well. The bloat is ridiculous. Now, at the start of the day my size 10's are tight. I don't remember the bloating starting so early last time?!
Tick tock, tick tock. The call should come tommorrow between 1 and 4. Lord help me until then.
The one on the right is the "good" one. The one on the bottom is the one that Dr. K said she could see the placenta forming (around the 11 to 1 o'clock range). In the two that were not so great, you can see the necrotic cells, they look pitted.
So, which one(s) stuck? Tomorrow is beta #2. I swear, this 6 day wait has been much harder than the 12 day wait to get the first beta. At least then I could appease myself with home tests. Now, if I were to take a test of course it would be positive, b/c my beta is so high, but it's not necessarily indicative of a healthy pregnancy.
If my math is right, beta needs to come back tomorrow at least 4000. This would be a doubling time of 36 hours. On the higher end, 48 hour doubling time, it would be closer to the 8000 range. All I ask is for a solid doubling, plus some. I don't want to have to worry for the next week that "yes it doubled, but it's low." I want a solid doubling, giving me no reason to think that things aren't going as they should.
The weekend was tough. I wasn't feeling much, except more sleepy. But, we got in the car to head to a Superbowl party and I started getting car sick. I had this symptom with Sophie also, so that was reassuring. Otherwise, still not much of anything. Nausea that comes and goes, no boob pain whatsoever. Yesterday, I was sitting in a meeting and had this single instance of a streak of pain across my abdomen. Not sure what that was? The dull achy crampy feeling continues to be on and off as well. The bloat is ridiculous. Now, at the start of the day my size 10's are tight. I don't remember the bloating starting so early last time?!
Tick tock, tick tock. The call should come tommorrow between 1 and 4. Lord help me until then.
Friday, February 4, 2011
almost completely happy:)
First of all, thanks to all of you who sent e-mails, texts, blog comments and cryptic facebook messages:) It's so nice to know we have such a bunch of caring friends, family (and strangers!!!) on our side:)
I realize that my post yesterday was very "to the point." I got a great beta, and Sophie got a great report from her Ortho.
A little more about yesterday. I waited not so patiently for the phone to ring, which of course it didn't. I left work to get Sophie and Dan and we were off to her Ortho appt. As her name was being called in to see the dr, they called. Go figure. The reception in the hospital was horrible. I heard 1004, I said holy cannoli, and then we started to schedule the next appt. Lost call. I tried to call right back with no luck.
I went in to find Dan and Sophie and they were already sitting in the x-ray waiting area. I told Dan my number. He said "what does that mean?" I told him that Sophie's number on the exact same dpo was 147. This one was 1004. He said "there are two." I said we don't know that, but we know that it's a good number. I'm sure he was realing, lol. He then said "we're not buying more EPTs":)
We got back to x-ray and they handed Dan the lead vest. I asked if I could be in there if I was pregnant and they said NO. They weren't even going to ask! So, I stepped out, and Sophie was a trooper getting her x-ray done. Dr. K came in later, looked at the x-ray, gave her an exam and said that all looked great. By 12 months, they like to see the hip/socket at a 30% angle, and hers is currently at 28%, so not perfect but good enough.
After her appt, we grabbed a bite to eat in the cafeteria. I called Dr. K's office back. We confirmed a 2nd blood test next Wed. If that looks good, u/s would be the following week, at about 6 1/2 weeks. Currently, I'm not even 5 weeks. It seems pathetic...and a long road. But, I'm feeling good about all of it. Yes, things can happen. Yes, I've had a m/c. But, I don't have a hx of recurrent m/c, my beta was great, I'm feeling a bit crappy, so I can only hope for the best.
I'm bloated. My size 10 jeans are snug. I know it's bloat and not bump (obviously), but it's not comfy. I felt some weird sharp tugs in my lower right this morning. Good tugs, I hope. Something is definately going on down there. I feel full, constantly, but yet my stomach growls. Nothing sounds good.
Have I been obsessively googling single vs twins? Yes. Do I know anything more than before I started googling? No. Have a been googling symptoms that are "on and then off?" Yes. What have I found? It's normal. lol.
Today, I am pregnant. That is my mantra:)
I realize that my post yesterday was very "to the point." I got a great beta, and Sophie got a great report from her Ortho.
A little more about yesterday. I waited not so patiently for the phone to ring, which of course it didn't. I left work to get Sophie and Dan and we were off to her Ortho appt. As her name was being called in to see the dr, they called. Go figure. The reception in the hospital was horrible. I heard 1004, I said holy cannoli, and then we started to schedule the next appt. Lost call. I tried to call right back with no luck.
I went in to find Dan and Sophie and they were already sitting in the x-ray waiting area. I told Dan my number. He said "what does that mean?" I told him that Sophie's number on the exact same dpo was 147. This one was 1004. He said "there are two." I said we don't know that, but we know that it's a good number. I'm sure he was realing, lol. He then said "we're not buying more EPTs":)
We got back to x-ray and they handed Dan the lead vest. I asked if I could be in there if I was pregnant and they said NO. They weren't even going to ask! So, I stepped out, and Sophie was a trooper getting her x-ray done. Dr. K came in later, looked at the x-ray, gave her an exam and said that all looked great. By 12 months, they like to see the hip/socket at a 30% angle, and hers is currently at 28%, so not perfect but good enough.
After her appt, we grabbed a bite to eat in the cafeteria. I called Dr. K's office back. We confirmed a 2nd blood test next Wed. If that looks good, u/s would be the following week, at about 6 1/2 weeks. Currently, I'm not even 5 weeks. It seems pathetic...and a long road. But, I'm feeling good about all of it. Yes, things can happen. Yes, I've had a m/c. But, I don't have a hx of recurrent m/c, my beta was great, I'm feeling a bit crappy, so I can only hope for the best.
I'm bloated. My size 10 jeans are snug. I know it's bloat and not bump (obviously), but it's not comfy. I felt some weird sharp tugs in my lower right this morning. Good tugs, I hope. Something is definately going on down there. I feel full, constantly, but yet my stomach growls. Nothing sounds good.
Have I been obsessively googling single vs twins? Yes. Do I know anything more than before I started googling? No. Have a been googling symptoms that are "on and then off?" Yes. What have I found? It's normal. lol.
Today, I am pregnant. That is my mantra:)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
1004
They finally called with beta number, as we were walking into Sophie's Dr appt.
1004.
I said "holy cannoli!" She said it's a good, strong number, but gave no indication that it might be twins. I know that beta numbers are not indicative at ALL of how many are growing in there, but it's still much higher than I expected.
According to betabase, it could go either way, singleton or twins.
What I love is that it's a great number, and I don't have to worry about a little one not being so strong. I feel confident (for now) that all is well. Dan told me he's not buying anymore EPTs:)
But the REALLY good news of the day is that SOphie's little hips look great. She hasn't been since she was 7 months. Dr. K wanted to see her after she started to walk. They took an x-ray, for which I couldn't be in the room b/c I am PREGNANT, and her hips are right where they need them to be. She will go back just before she turns three.
OMG, well that is great news all around. Fantastic beta for me and fantastic hip report for Sophia. It's a good day:)
1004.
I said "holy cannoli!" She said it's a good, strong number, but gave no indication that it might be twins. I know that beta numbers are not indicative at ALL of how many are growing in there, but it's still much higher than I expected.
According to betabase, it could go either way, singleton or twins.
What I love is that it's a great number, and I don't have to worry about a little one not being so strong. I feel confident (for now) that all is well. Dan told me he's not buying anymore EPTs:)
But the REALLY good news of the day is that SOphie's little hips look great. She hasn't been since she was 7 months. Dr. K wanted to see her after she started to walk. They took an x-ray, for which I couldn't be in the room b/c I am PREGNANT, and her hips are right where they need them to be. She will go back just before she turns three.
OMG, well that is great news all around. Fantastic beta for me and fantastic hip report for Sophia. It's a good day:)
beta has been drawn...
and now I wait, lol. t minus 7 hours or so.
I told the blood draw lady that I'd gotten 3 positive tests. SHe looked at me and said "well, then you are pregnant." I told her that I won't believe it until I hear it from the office. I'm mentally preparing myself for "You're pregnant, but the number is lower than we'd like."
This day is going to drag!!! Sophie has an appt at 2:30 with her pedi ortho to check on her dsyplasia. I gave Dr. K's office strict instructions to call on my cell between 1:45 and 4, but of course I probably won't get reception.
Long, long day. here we go........
I told the blood draw lady that I'd gotten 3 positive tests. SHe looked at me and said "well, then you are pregnant." I told her that I won't believe it until I hear it from the office. I'm mentally preparing myself for "You're pregnant, but the number is lower than we'd like."
This day is going to drag!!! Sophie has an appt at 2:30 with her pedi ortho to check on her dsyplasia. I gave Dr. K's office strict instructions to call on my cell between 1:45 and 4, but of course I probably won't get reception.
Long, long day. here we go........
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
crying...
I had a crying spell this morning. Dan's fault. He made me cry. I cannot remember the last time I cried, which, considering the meds I've been on, it's really surprising. I felt myself starting to pucker up this morning and let the waterworks start, and thought "oh, this is good, lol." I then started sobbing. I'm going to hope the increase in emotions is a good sign. Also a bit crampy today.
By the way, I peed on another stick yesterday morning and it was still positive. Since they put off my beta until TOMORROW, I made Dan buy me another pack of tests. He asked "why, you've already gotten two positives." I said, "trust me, if you want to be stuck in this condo with me for the next two days, I need some reassurance." He complied:)
Ok, so this time tomorrow I should be getting the call. Fingers, toes, legs, everything is crossed!!!!!!
By the way, I peed on another stick yesterday morning and it was still positive. Since they put off my beta until TOMORROW, I made Dan buy me another pack of tests. He asked "why, you've already gotten two positives." I said, "trust me, if you want to be stuck in this condo with me for the next two days, I need some reassurance." He complied:)
Ok, so this time tomorrow I should be getting the call. Fingers, toes, legs, everything is crossed!!!!!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
one step forward, two steps back...
OK, so Dr. K's office called to let me know that I can't come in until THURSDAY for my beta. UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The weather apparently is going to be ridiculously bad, lots of ice followed by lots of snow. Businesses are planning on being closed tomorrow, and possibly for days after.
When S called to move my beta to Thursday I said "you people are killing me! You're going to force me to go out and buy more EPTs." She just laughed and said go for it. So, I guess the word is out around the office that I got a +:)
When S called to move my beta to Thursday I said "you people are killing me! You're going to force me to go out and buy more EPTs." She just laughed and said go for it. So, I guess the word is out around the office that I got a +:)
beta moved up a day:)
Thanks to the lovely weather that we are expecting, it was quite easy to get my beta moved from Wed, to tomorrow!!!
I can't get in to see my PCP until Friday, but I did talk to Dr. K's nurse about the rash. She said it's fine to keep up with the Benedryl and hydrocortizone until I see the doctor. It seems to be a bit better, itch-wise. Hoping that it will be gone soon though. I know my ankles are swollen b/c my shoes feel tight on my feet.
In Sophie news...she is officially walking! She still prefers to crawl, and does an adorable knee walk, but she is most definately walking. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen...I see where the term toddler comes from:)
I can't get in to see my PCP until Friday, but I did talk to Dr. K's nurse about the rash. She said it's fine to keep up with the Benedryl and hydrocortizone until I see the doctor. It seems to be a bit better, itch-wise. Hoping that it will be gone soon though. I know my ankles are swollen b/c my shoes feel tight on my feet.
In Sophie news...she is officially walking! She still prefers to crawl, and does an adorable knee walk, but she is most definately walking. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen...I see where the term toddler comes from:)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I should never have joked about...
scratching an itch...because now I have a rash. I noticed this weird feeling on my ankles Friday morning, but didn't really think anything about it. By Friday night, it looked like this...
Oh, and my ankles are swollen. Sorry about the hairy legs. There's no way I'm shaving!!
I don't think it can be a reaction to any of my meds, because 1) I've been taking them for weeks, and 2) I've taken them so many times before this cycle. I broke down and got some hydrocortizone and calamine lotion this morning. The itch is ridiculously miserable:( I'll call my PCP in the morning to see if I can get in, and also call Dr. K to confirm that it shouldn't be the meds.
Also, we are expecting a winter storm of epic proportions. Inches of ice followed by up to a foot of snow, starting tomorrow and continuing through Wed afternoon. Reminder: beta is Wed morning. So, in addition to talking to Dr. K's nurse about the rash, I'm hoping to get the beta moved up in the event that the weather is nasty on Wed.
We just got a call from our realtor that someone wants to see our condo in the morning! Luckily, I spent some time cleaning this weekend, so it didn't take much to get it in showing shape. We'll give it another vaccuum in the AM, and then Sophie, Dan and Sierra are going to work with me. The showing is scheduled from 9-10 am.
And the BEST news is that I decided to pee on another $5 this morning and it was still positive, and darker:)
I've had major insomnia the past two nights, and finally took a benadryl last night to curb my itching ankles and help me fall asleep. I don't have much of an apetite either, and the queasiness has been setting in about 6 pm each night. I'm not complaining (YET!), it's so reassuring.
Oh, and my ankles are swollen. Sorry about the hairy legs. There's no way I'm shaving!!
I don't think it can be a reaction to any of my meds, because 1) I've been taking them for weeks, and 2) I've taken them so many times before this cycle. I broke down and got some hydrocortizone and calamine lotion this morning. The itch is ridiculously miserable:( I'll call my PCP in the morning to see if I can get in, and also call Dr. K to confirm that it shouldn't be the meds.
Also, we are expecting a winter storm of epic proportions. Inches of ice followed by up to a foot of snow, starting tomorrow and continuing through Wed afternoon. Reminder: beta is Wed morning. So, in addition to talking to Dr. K's nurse about the rash, I'm hoping to get the beta moved up in the event that the weather is nasty on Wed.
We just got a call from our realtor that someone wants to see our condo in the morning! Luckily, I spent some time cleaning this weekend, so it didn't take much to get it in showing shape. We'll give it another vaccuum in the AM, and then Sophie, Dan and Sierra are going to work with me. The showing is scheduled from 9-10 am.
And the BEST news is that I decided to pee on another $5 this morning and it was still positive, and darker:)
I've had major insomnia the past two nights, and finally took a benadryl last night to curb my itching ankles and help me fall asleep. I don't have much of an apetite either, and the queasiness has been setting in about 6 pm each night. I'm not complaining (YET!), it's so reassuring.
Friday, January 28, 2011
I scratched the itch.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
That said, I'm not entirely surprised, I haven't been feeling quite right. However, that didn't ease the unnervingness of this testing process. I woke up at 6 am and realized that I had decided to test today. My heart started racing. At 6:04 I got out of bed with the mantra in my head "if it's negative, it might just be too early." I peed. I put the stick down, hoping to brush my teeth, put in my contacts etc, during the 2 minutes it's supposed to take the test to offer up the results. But I kept cheating, and checking the stick. And I saw the +, and my hands started shaking. It's really hard to put in your contacts when you can't keep your hands still!!!
At first, it was only the one line and I got discouraged, but through each of my peeks, the second line kept forming.
Holy shit.
I keep saying "this was just too easy." I mean, it took us eight embryos to make Sophia. I would expect us it to take 8 more to make her sibling. But we transferred three. THREE. Freaking a bit now at that decision.
I know there's a LONGGGGG road ahead. I've had a miscarriage before. But, for today, I am pregnant:)
There have been too many little devils on my shoulder telling me to test. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I will protect the anonymity of someone who might read this blog. Hope to be able to tell the whole story in a few weeks. It's crazy what a small, SMALL world this is:)
Dan was still sleeping when I took the test. He and Sophie woke up about the same time. I changed her, grabbed the stick and headed for the bedroom. I shoved it in his face. Romantic, huh? He jumped back like it was a spider or something.
"What's that?"
"It's a test. A positive test."
"Huh? It's early. Explain"
"It's a positive pregnancy test."
"Could it be a false positive?"
"No. I didn't take any meds that might give a false positive."
"Oh." "wow." "it's early." "SOphie, are you ready to be a big sister? Oh, poor Sierra." "Please let it be a girl."
A few minutes later he apologized for not being more excited, but I think I shocked the shit out of him, lol. He had no idea I was testing.
So, beta is Feb 2. NOthing I can do until then but wait.
I'm pregnant! Again!
Oh, and PLEASE. No word of this on Facebook. I'm not sure yet if I'll tell my mom, or wait until beta. She's a worry-wart. Dan said he'll tell his mom, but aside from this blog, and a few friends, we're keeping it under wraps.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
4dp5dt
This post was supposed to have a picture of the transferred embryos, but no such luck. I can't get it to upload. You aren't missing too much, just picture 3 moon looking blobs and you get the picture:)
So, here I sit at 4dp5dt (or it is 6d)? They were frozen at 5 days, but then given a day to thaw, so who knows really.
I'm feeling pretty ambivilent today. Not optimistic, not pessimistic. No symptoms to speak of. I spent the morning reading blogs of successful FETs. Probably not a smart move, but whatever. I need something, lol:)
Still debating on to test or not. In everything I've read, successful FETs typically start off on the low side, beta-wise. Meaning that if I DID test, and the HCG was too low, it might not show up. At the earliest, I would wait until Sunday.
With FET #1, I didn't spot at all. With IVF #2 (that worked), I spotted/bled alot. Given those two experiences, I'm not sure if I WANT to see blood on the tp, or not. And yes, I've started looking. That's just what I do.
If I remember correctly, my very first symptom with the SOphie pregnancy was heartburn. I remember it b/c I NEVER get heartburn. So far, no heartburn.
Hey little embies, what are you doing down there? Anything productive?
So, here I sit at 4dp5dt (or it is 6d)? They were frozen at 5 days, but then given a day to thaw, so who knows really.
I'm feeling pretty ambivilent today. Not optimistic, not pessimistic. No symptoms to speak of. I spent the morning reading blogs of successful FETs. Probably not a smart move, but whatever. I need something, lol:)
Still debating on to test or not. In everything I've read, successful FETs typically start off on the low side, beta-wise. Meaning that if I DID test, and the HCG was too low, it might not show up. At the earliest, I would wait until Sunday.
With FET #1, I didn't spot at all. With IVF #2 (that worked), I spotted/bled alot. Given those two experiences, I'm not sure if I WANT to see blood on the tp, or not. And yes, I've started looking. That's just what I do.
If I remember correctly, my very first symptom with the SOphie pregnancy was heartburn. I remember it b/c I NEVER get heartburn. So far, no heartburn.
Hey little embies, what are you doing down there? Anything productive?
Monday, January 24, 2011
PIO is a pain in my bum...
literally and figuratively.
I am ROCKING the bruises on both hips this morning. Yikes. They h.u.r.t.
The PIO has also started those lovely "could-be" pregnancy symptoms, such as fatigue. Yesterday, Sophie, Sierra and I had a nice, long nap, lol. Before than (aside from my Valium induced nap on Friday), I cannot remember the last time I napped, and it felt GOOD:)
I'm trying to stay positive. I really am. The truth is, I think as of right now, my body knows if I'm pregnant or not. If any of those embies were going to implant, it would have happened this weekend. Sucks that I have to wait 9 more days to find out.
I'm so disappointed that they didn't look better. I'm so upset that I knew about those "great" stats with vitrification. I would have done better I think, assuming the worst, that I only had a 30% chance of this working. In my mind, I had built it up to be more like 50%, which isn't far-fetched at all considering the stats that Dr. K gave to me.
Dan started talking girl names this weekend. It's fun and all, but really? Shoule we go there? I think not. But it's so hard NOT to go there.
I told Dan on Saturday night that we WOULD be trying one last IUI if this does not work. I didn't say it that harshly, but I just laid it out there...that we have the frozen sperm...he has to do NOTHING in that cycle, except put up with a hormonal me, and that's it. THen, that really would be it. RIght?
I contemplated another fresh IVF as I was trying to fall asleep last night. I really don't think I could convince him of that. ANd why, really. We have our miracle. I don't want to be selfish.
9 days and counting...
I am ROCKING the bruises on both hips this morning. Yikes. They h.u.r.t.
The PIO has also started those lovely "could-be" pregnancy symptoms, such as fatigue. Yesterday, Sophie, Sierra and I had a nice, long nap, lol. Before than (aside from my Valium induced nap on Friday), I cannot remember the last time I napped, and it felt GOOD:)
I'm trying to stay positive. I really am. The truth is, I think as of right now, my body knows if I'm pregnant or not. If any of those embies were going to implant, it would have happened this weekend. Sucks that I have to wait 9 more days to find out.
I'm so disappointed that they didn't look better. I'm so upset that I knew about those "great" stats with vitrification. I would have done better I think, assuming the worst, that I only had a 30% chance of this working. In my mind, I had built it up to be more like 50%, which isn't far-fetched at all considering the stats that Dr. K gave to me.
Dan started talking girl names this weekend. It's fun and all, but really? Shoule we go there? I think not. But it's so hard NOT to go there.
I told Dan on Saturday night that we WOULD be trying one last IUI if this does not work. I didn't say it that harshly, but I just laid it out there...that we have the frozen sperm...he has to do NOTHING in that cycle, except put up with a hormonal me, and that's it. THen, that really would be it. RIght?
I contemplated another fresh IVF as I was trying to fall asleep last night. I really don't think I could convince him of that. ANd why, really. We have our miracle. I don't want to be selfish.
9 days and counting...
Sunday, January 23, 2011
so many thoughts...
I forgot what an emotional rollercoaster this is. Friday night was spent stressing/over-thinking just about everything.
After the transfer I asked the nurse to use a marker to mark where we should be aiming the PIO needle. Dan had been hitting the correct general area, but not inside the circles that the nurse drew. So, I freaked, thinking my body doesn't have enough P4 to support the embies. So what did I do? I upped the PIO from 1 cc to 1.5 cc's for the past three nights.
Then, I read in my "instructions" yesterday not to take any baths, or get in any hot tubs or saunas until the pregancy test. I read this as I was using the laptop in bed. I immediately thought that it must be b/c my body temp shouldn't get too hot...so of course I assumed I fried my embies with the laptop on my stomach.
I woke up yesterday morning not even remembering the transfer. Once I did, it felt like it was all a dream, like it had never happened. My uterus felt empty:( As it should, I guess. I of course started thinking that it was my minds way of telling me that it didn't work. Ugh.
Today was better. I still took it easy with Sophie, not lifting her if I could help it. Tomorrow, I'll return to normal. After all, women get pregnant all the time while having toddlers, kids, vaccuuming, etc.
I did the unthinkable a few minutes ago though. I scoured my bathroom cabinets for pregnancy tests. I couldn't find ONE. I must have trashed them months ago, b/c they would have been expired by now anyway.
Geez, I hate this.
I've mentioned before that Sophie is quite the sweater. This picture was taken today, after her nap (when she tends to sweat ALOT). Look at all the sweat curls, lol:)
After the transfer I asked the nurse to use a marker to mark where we should be aiming the PIO needle. Dan had been hitting the correct general area, but not inside the circles that the nurse drew. So, I freaked, thinking my body doesn't have enough P4 to support the embies. So what did I do? I upped the PIO from 1 cc to 1.5 cc's for the past three nights.
Then, I read in my "instructions" yesterday not to take any baths, or get in any hot tubs or saunas until the pregancy test. I read this as I was using the laptop in bed. I immediately thought that it must be b/c my body temp shouldn't get too hot...so of course I assumed I fried my embies with the laptop on my stomach.
I woke up yesterday morning not even remembering the transfer. Once I did, it felt like it was all a dream, like it had never happened. My uterus felt empty:( As it should, I guess. I of course started thinking that it was my minds way of telling me that it didn't work. Ugh.
Today was better. I still took it easy with Sophie, not lifting her if I could help it. Tomorrow, I'll return to normal. After all, women get pregnant all the time while having toddlers, kids, vaccuuming, etc.
I did the unthinkable a few minutes ago though. I scoured my bathroom cabinets for pregnancy tests. I couldn't find ONE. I must have trashed them months ago, b/c they would have been expired by now anyway.
Geez, I hate this.
I've mentioned before that Sophie is quite the sweater. This picture was taken today, after her nap (when she tends to sweat ALOT). Look at all the sweat curls, lol:)
Friday, January 21, 2011
horizontal blogging
Our FET happened at 10 am this morning. All went well, especially after 2 Valium;) Sophie woke us up at 4:40, and at about 5 am I realized that I hadn't talked to Dr K about Assisted Hatching of the embryos. I also realized that I hadn't confirmed that it would be Dr. K that actually did the transfer. Obsessive me starting calling at 8 am, in hopes of talking with the IVF nurse about AH. Turns out, they do AH with all FETs.
The embryos could have looked better. All three DID survive the thaw, but only one looked really good. THe other two were becoming necrotic, and on one Dr. K even pointed out that the part (for lack of a better term) that would/could become the placenta didn't look so great. Needless to say, I was upset. That said, I have heard SO many stories of crappy looking embies going on to make babies, while the great looking embies that you would assume would make a baby not working. So, we'll see.
The transfer itself went fabulously. Typically, it's been the transfer that has been the rough part for us, so I'm thankful that I don't have that to worry about. As they were wheeling me out of the OR, I told Dr. K that I was worried the two didn't look so great. Her response was "I'm thrilled that one looked good." She's right. We've now done all we can do. They had me lie on my back for 30 minutes and then we were off.
I WISH I didn't know about the great stats recently. They did get my hopes up. Now, my hopes are not so great. The nurses reminded me that spotting/bleeding is/can be normal, so not to stress over that. I did not spot at ALL with FET #1, but did spot (and bleed) with both fresh IVFs.
Beta is Tues Feb 4, 12 days post transfer. I confirmed that if implantation is going to happen, it will occur in the next day or so.
Prior to the transfer, Dan said "this is it." I reminded him that we still have frozen sperm and he shook his head no. I was in no position or mood to argue my point, but am willing to fight for one more IUI cycle should this not work.
We stopped by McDonald's, and then got home about 11:30. My mom was watching Sophie, so after eating I went straight to bed where I slept off the Valium. My parents just left about 3 PM, and Dan's mom came to take over Sophie duty for the next few hours. I'm on light duty, and can't lift anything over 20 pounds for the next few days, which means Sophie:( She can crawl up in my lap, but I can't actually pick her up.
I'm in bed, and our scanner is packed away. Will post a picture of my 3 little embies on Monday. Stick little ones,please...
The embryos could have looked better. All three DID survive the thaw, but only one looked really good. THe other two were becoming necrotic, and on one Dr. K even pointed out that the part (for lack of a better term) that would/could become the placenta didn't look so great. Needless to say, I was upset. That said, I have heard SO many stories of crappy looking embies going on to make babies, while the great looking embies that you would assume would make a baby not working. So, we'll see.
The transfer itself went fabulously. Typically, it's been the transfer that has been the rough part for us, so I'm thankful that I don't have that to worry about. As they were wheeling me out of the OR, I told Dr. K that I was worried the two didn't look so great. Her response was "I'm thrilled that one looked good." She's right. We've now done all we can do. They had me lie on my back for 30 minutes and then we were off.
I WISH I didn't know about the great stats recently. They did get my hopes up. Now, my hopes are not so great. The nurses reminded me that spotting/bleeding is/can be normal, so not to stress over that. I did not spot at ALL with FET #1, but did spot (and bleed) with both fresh IVFs.
Beta is Tues Feb 4, 12 days post transfer. I confirmed that if implantation is going to happen, it will occur in the next day or so.
Prior to the transfer, Dan said "this is it." I reminded him that we still have frozen sperm and he shook his head no. I was in no position or mood to argue my point, but am willing to fight for one more IUI cycle should this not work.
We stopped by McDonald's, and then got home about 11:30. My mom was watching Sophie, so after eating I went straight to bed where I slept off the Valium. My parents just left about 3 PM, and Dan's mom came to take over Sophie duty for the next few hours. I'm on light duty, and can't lift anything over 20 pounds for the next few days, which means Sophie:( She can crawl up in my lap, but I can't actually pick her up.
I'm in bed, and our scanner is packed away. Will post a picture of my 3 little embies on Monday. Stick little ones,please...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
less than 48 hours...
I hope to have at least 2 little embies attempting to implant in the next 48 hours. I'm not expecting the 3rd to thaw, but certainly hope that the two "good" ones survive the thaw process.
Thankfully work and home life have been keeping me busy. The closer I get though, the more I REALLY want this work. Not that I *didn't* want this to work last week or last month, but this really is probably our last shot.
And the fact that Sophia is such a good, sweet baby makes me want another so much. Of course, I know there's no guarentee that McBaby #2 (or 3) will be like her, but she just makes it so easy. We still just stare and her, and look at each other and say "is she really ours?" or "how did we get so lucky?" or "she really is beautiful, isn't she?"
The truth is, now I know what I'm missing. Pre-Sophie, I wanted what alluded me so many times. Now, I know how great it is, and I want it again. That said, the pressure for this to work is not as great. Of course, I'll be heart-broken if the FET doesn't work, deeply upset, but as Dan says, it's a win-win situation for us. Even if this FET doesn't work, we have Sophie, which is all we really wanted in the first place.
Last night was the first night since moving her to her crib that I actually got up to get her, after she woke me up with her crying. It was obvious she didn't feel well, so I brought her to bed with us. She kept tossing and turning, and seemed warm so we gave her some Tylenol. She laid on my chest until she feel asleep. To me, it didn't matter what time it was, or that I had to get up a few hours later. I was so grateful to HAVE a child that woke me up in the middle of the night. I hope,hope, hope that there is another in our near future.
Thankfully work and home life have been keeping me busy. The closer I get though, the more I REALLY want this work. Not that I *didn't* want this to work last week or last month, but this really is probably our last shot.
And the fact that Sophia is such a good, sweet baby makes me want another so much. Of course, I know there's no guarentee that McBaby #2 (or 3) will be like her, but she just makes it so easy. We still just stare and her, and look at each other and say "is she really ours?" or "how did we get so lucky?" or "she really is beautiful, isn't she?"
The truth is, now I know what I'm missing. Pre-Sophie, I wanted what alluded me so many times. Now, I know how great it is, and I want it again. That said, the pressure for this to work is not as great. Of course, I'll be heart-broken if the FET doesn't work, deeply upset, but as Dan says, it's a win-win situation for us. Even if this FET doesn't work, we have Sophie, which is all we really wanted in the first place.
Last night was the first night since moving her to her crib that I actually got up to get her, after she woke me up with her crying. It was obvious she didn't feel well, so I brought her to bed with us. She kept tossing and turning, and seemed warm so we gave her some Tylenol. She laid on my chest until she feel asleep. To me, it didn't matter what time it was, or that I had to get up a few hours later. I was so grateful to HAVE a child that woke me up in the middle of the night. I hope,hope, hope that there is another in our near future.
Friday, January 14, 2011
"not while I'm eating"
This was Dan's response to my comment last night "I have a dildo-cam appt in the morning." It SO reminded me of the SATC episode with Charlotte and Trey, when they were trying to get pregnant. Except, I think in that episode Charlotte was talking about sperm:)
My monitoring appt went well. My lining is at a 12 which is great, and P4 is where it needs to be. I honestly didn't even ask the #, b/c I know I haven't O'd, and that's really what they are looking for with that blood draw.
Soooo...on Sunday, I'll take my antibiotic, and also start PIO and baby aspirin (continuing to also take the Estrace). FET is set for next Friday, Jan 21. They'll call me the day before to give a more specific time. At my RE, all of the fresh IVF ER and ETs are first, and then the FETs come after, so it really depends on what's going on with other patients.
I also asked the nurse to ask Dr. K for a few Valium pills for that morning. I really do think that taking Valium with IVF #2 was one of the different things we did that helped to make that cycle successful. At my u/s this morning my ute was back to looking "severely retroverted." The Valium tends to help straighten it out a bit.
Let the countdown begin. I'm trying to keep myself busy with things. Dan and I are going to a movie tomorrow, I'm having lunch with friends on Sunday, Monday will be spent cleaning for our first open house on Tues...must.keep.mind.occupied:)
My monitoring appt went well. My lining is at a 12 which is great, and P4 is where it needs to be. I honestly didn't even ask the #, b/c I know I haven't O'd, and that's really what they are looking for with that blood draw.
Soooo...on Sunday, I'll take my antibiotic, and also start PIO and baby aspirin (continuing to also take the Estrace). FET is set for next Friday, Jan 21. They'll call me the day before to give a more specific time. At my RE, all of the fresh IVF ER and ETs are first, and then the FETs come after, so it really depends on what's going on with other patients.
I also asked the nurse to ask Dr. K for a few Valium pills for that morning. I really do think that taking Valium with IVF #2 was one of the different things we did that helped to make that cycle successful. At my u/s this morning my ute was back to looking "severely retroverted." The Valium tends to help straighten it out a bit.
Let the countdown begin. I'm trying to keep myself busy with things. Dan and I are going to a movie tomorrow, I'm having lunch with friends on Sunday, Monday will be spent cleaning for our first open house on Tues...must.keep.mind.occupied:)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The weighting game...
Up it goes.
My *normal* (pre-IF hormone) weight is about 130. When I got pregnant with Sophia I was up to 140, and then gained 23 pounds while pregnant. I lost it all within 10 days, and then the weight continued to plummet. At my thinnest, I weighed 122, but my norm, while breastfeeding, was about 124 (which was less than I weighed when we got married!). Complete weaning coincided with Christmas eating,so it's hard to say what's the culprit, but after Christmas I was up to 127.
Today, 3 days into Estrace (and nearing the end of my period) I weighed 128.5. So, here we go. Goodbye to my size 6 skinny jeans, lol:(
My *normal* (pre-IF hormone) weight is about 130. When I got pregnant with Sophia I was up to 140, and then gained 23 pounds while pregnant. I lost it all within 10 days, and then the weight continued to plummet. At my thinnest, I weighed 122, but my norm, while breastfeeding, was about 124 (which was less than I weighed when we got married!). Complete weaning coincided with Christmas eating,so it's hard to say what's the culprit, but after Christmas I was up to 127.
Today, 3 days into Estrace (and nearing the end of my period) I weighed 128.5. So, here we go. Goodbye to my size 6 skinny jeans, lol:(
Monday, January 3, 2011
Down the hatch to 2011
My period showed a day early, so I started my Estrace bright and early on 01/01/01:)
I'm much more excited than I should be on cd3 (t minus 18 days). I'm waiting (patiently) on a call from my nurse to schedule my b/w and u/s. I'm assuming it will be Friday, Jan 14.
It's funny how our mind works, or at least how mine works. I was at the mall on Sunday, and guess who I saw? Moms with baby bumps, and toddlers. I swear, the only women I saw were 1) pregnant and 2) already a mom. It's like when you want to buy a new car, and the only cars on the road you see are the ones you are interested in. craziness.
I think the only thing that is going to keep my mind occupied these next several weeks are the home improvements we are doing in order to get our condo on the market. I spent ALL weekend taping, painting, keeping Sophie out of the paint, keeping Sierra out of the paint. It's endless. We got so much done, but it just highlights what we still have left to do.
Here's our January timeline:
Jan 7: realtor stops by to see our improvements; talk about listing price
Jan 11: photographer comes by to take pics for website
Jan 14: u/s and b/w (I think)
Jan 18: broker open house
Jan 21: FET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 23: first open house to public
Feb 2: BETA (I think)
Talk about a whirlwind. The goal, minimally, is for me to keep my sanitity during this time. Honestly, I'm glad it's all happening at once. It keeps my mind busy for the most part, so that it doesn't wander into territories like due dates, maternity leave, etc.
And can I just say that 2010 was a really great year for me. Looking back, I can't remember a much better year in a very long time. I have my baby, we were all relatively illness-free, not hit too hard by the economy, my sister got married, my mom didn't loose her marbles, I still have a job. I can only hope that 2011 is as great, if not better:)
I'm much more excited than I should be on cd3 (t minus 18 days). I'm waiting (patiently) on a call from my nurse to schedule my b/w and u/s. I'm assuming it will be Friday, Jan 14.
It's funny how our mind works, or at least how mine works. I was at the mall on Sunday, and guess who I saw? Moms with baby bumps, and toddlers. I swear, the only women I saw were 1) pregnant and 2) already a mom. It's like when you want to buy a new car, and the only cars on the road you see are the ones you are interested in. craziness.
I think the only thing that is going to keep my mind occupied these next several weeks are the home improvements we are doing in order to get our condo on the market. I spent ALL weekend taping, painting, keeping Sophie out of the paint, keeping Sierra out of the paint. It's endless. We got so much done, but it just highlights what we still have left to do.
Here's our January timeline:
Jan 7: realtor stops by to see our improvements; talk about listing price
Jan 11: photographer comes by to take pics for website
Jan 14: u/s and b/w (I think)
Jan 18: broker open house
Jan 21: FET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 23: first open house to public
Feb 2: BETA (I think)
Talk about a whirlwind. The goal, minimally, is for me to keep my sanitity during this time. Honestly, I'm glad it's all happening at once. It keeps my mind busy for the most part, so that it doesn't wander into territories like due dates, maternity leave, etc.
And can I just say that 2010 was a really great year for me. Looking back, I can't remember a much better year in a very long time. I have my baby, we were all relatively illness-free, not hit too hard by the economy, my sister got married, my mom didn't loose her marbles, I still have a job. I can only hope that 2011 is as great, if not better:)
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