I do not know how I will make it to Thursday. I just don't know. I am back to work today, and was super busy this morning. Now I am back at my desk and my mind is wandering. Actually, wandering is an understatement. It's already gone.
I'm giving myself a headache. I can feel it coming on. I had a headache about 3 days last week. I looked up "early pregnancy symptoms" this morning, and headache is one of them. Plus, I've had some heartburn. I've had some crampy feelings in my girlie parts. As I have said before I am wayyy in tune with my body, so yes I do feel something going on down there. It's reassuring. Spotting seems to be gone as of this morning.
I'm taking these simple things and riding on them for the next 2 days. I've googled "beta numbers", "low beta numbers", "IVF low beta numbers", etc. It's not making me feel much better.
I keep telling myself over and over that Dr. K said my number was ok. And that she wanted to call me herself b/c she was excited for me, so that must be good right??? But, why couldn't I just have a big number that left me with no room to worry???? Why me? I feel like I'm whining, and I am. I know I am. But it's my blog and I'll do what I want. I just want it to be easy. Or at least semi-easy. I think I've earned it.
Dan is mad at me. He thinks I am stressing too much. Which I am. But I can't stop. Dan is calling Sierra big sister, and it's a little infuriating to me, although I think it's sweet at the same time.
I hope I don't seem ungrateful, b/c I'm not. I've never been this pregnant before. I just don't want it ripped away from me before I even get a chance to enjoy it.
((HUGS))...I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers for your little bean to STICK and stay there!!
ReplyDeleteI am glad the spotting stopped and I hope your next beta number is huge!! I have the same problem googling and reading things that just make me paranoid. But it is something that will be done no matter what. I can't control myself and it helped me make it through the days. Good luck and I am praying for the best!
ReplyDeleteYou do need to relax because you are PREGNANT!!! Glad the spotting has stopped, I know how nerve racking that must be.
ReplyDeleteGirl you know I am right here with you on those feelings. Thursday can't come soon enough for either of us!!!
ReplyDeletemy first beta was small too. i was such a wreck (and it doesn't get any better until the end of the first trimester) and my dh got pretty mad at me for being such a wreck. keep reminding yourself the odds are with you now every step of the way, there is nothing you can do by stressing, and enjoy being pg. It's hard, I know, I know!! Lots of prayers and I hope the time until Thursday flies by.
ReplyDeleteps... stay off the internet. and the first trimester board...
You are definitely going to have to find a way to relax. Get out of your own head, stay off the internet, and trust the process!
ReplyDeleteI know it's difficult... extremely difficult, but enjoy being pregnant!!! YOU ARE PREGNANT!
Just enjoy this... it's a roller coaster of emotions, for sure, but do what you can to just put the worries aside. (I know that's a tall order -- and unfortunately, the worries never seem to stop, but still try!) No stress... Good luck tomorrow!!
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